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minions

That’s not a knife. This is knife! Oh and a shotgun. I know: the Minions-themed duct tape had you totally fooled, right? Apparently, that was the point. “Deputies said they believe the tape was applied in an attempt to disguise the shotgun as a toy,” New Orleans’ theadvocate.com reports. Maybe it was a joke? Then again, the recently reconciled couple transporting the Minion gun don’t seem like the jocular types.

Monroe Meyers, 38, and his girlfriend Winter Flowers, 33, were both arrested. The pair had been staying at a Covington motel and both had outstanding warrants from Tangipahoa Parish. The warrants stemmed from a 2015 incident in which Flowers was accused of shooting Meyers with an AR-15 rifle, deputies said.

“This entire situation is very troubling. This is obviously a dangerous couple who belong in jail,” said St. Tammany Parish Sheriff Randy Smith.

Where they’ll have plenty of time to develop their craft skills.

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37 COMMENTS

  1. Winter Flowers? If that ain’t a white trash trailer park stripper name I don’t know what is. And she shot dude with an AR and he’s still above ground? Poodle shooters shouldn’t be used on mutts, I suppose.

    • Out of the more than a few strippers I know IRL, precisely none of them have real life stripper names. Sure the ‘stage name’ is Chrystal, Mercedes, Portia, whatever. The reality is their real names are Sara, Michelle, and Nancy. Or Lindsey, Mary, Heather, or….

      Just like in Ted chicks who actually have stripper names from birth are “generally” vapid cashiers/hostesses/waitrons in my experience. There’s been some great science done regarding this topic – what you name your child very much does matter.

      • “…what you name your child very much does matter.”

        My parents gave it their best shot in that department, all for naught…

        *muttter*

        On the bright side, at least I wasn’t named Sue…

        • “I don’t think so.”

          “Naught” means “nothing,” and the phrase “all for naught” means “all for nothing.”

          https://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/allfornot.html

          Unless I’ve missed something obvious (and I have been known to do just that), I used it correctly and the way I intended.

          My parents *tried* to give me a name with some class (so they have claimed) but they sure didn’t get in me what they were hoping for or expected…

        • Naught x Naught is Naught
          Naught x One is Naught
          Naught x Two is Naught…

          Maybe he’s a double Naught spy.

        • I was merely disagreeing with your assessment of ‘all for naught’, though I would ultimately hope it was merely a bit of self-deprecation.

      • Don’t forget Cinnamon. It seems there is always a professional clothes-taker-offer w/ the name Cinnamon . . . sometimes spelled w/ an “S” 🙂

      • It is not entirely an oxymoron.

        The small city of Brookings, Oregon is locally known as “The Home of Winter Flowers,” though that’s probably not the same “Winter Flowers” as is mentioned in the article.

        For just one example, I have personally seen camellias blooming in Brookings, OR, in December through February.

      • And the seal-a-meal and baggies, when the drugs are knotted up in saran wrap. I love how the cops will scour for completely unrelated crap to fill out their asinine trophy pictures. A hunting knife! Oh, the humanity! Idiots.

  2. The warrants stemmed from a 2015 incident in which Flowers was accused of shooting Meyers with an AR-15 rifle

    She shot him with a rifle last year, and they’re still together?

    • That’s true love. They say if you love someone let them go. If they come back they’re yours, and if they don’t you never had them. And if you shoot them and they stay, well that’s just a match made in the trailer park, or a reality show, or both.

  3. A sawed off, tons of cash, drugs and a bunch of blades.

    These two like to par-tay. NFA, WoD and AR GSW’s aside, they sound like a great couple that I might have known in my early 20’s.

    • So sad, the lowered expectations forced upon America’s youth…

      20 years ago that few grand would have been dinner and wine for a meeting of about 10 managerial types, and fully expensed without even a blink from HR. $300/per was a meeting dinner.

      As for the half, quarter, 8-ball, and such on the scales, I have no idea how you would expense that. Let alone the strippers whose body parts you would insufflate it off of.

      Oh, wait. It’s coming back to me…

      • The strippers are HR expenses written off as “contractors”. The drugs are expensed the same as booze for schmoozing a corporate exec.

        LOL at least someone gets my humor.

      • Before it was razed for new development, my favorite local independent gas station was happy to ring up alcohol as fuel and then with an innocent face ask what the total she she should ring it up for.

        Skinflint boss finally traded in that old truck since the gas mileage was so horrible…

  4. Speaking of sawed of shotguns and Louisiana, anyone ever see Killing Them Softly? From the cover of the case it looked awesome with Brad Pitt aiming a pistol grip shotgun, but in reality it was horrible, really boring 90% of the time. But there’s a scene in it where Ray Liota’s poker game is getting robbed by some low level thugs and one of them is aiming a sawed off double barrel shotgun where the barrel was cut so short that the shells were sticking half out. It was hilarious. Only good scene in the whole movie.

  5. Wow! That looks like my Boomstick! Except mine’s a legal 26″ OAL and 18″ BBL… and Hello Kitty duct tape.

  6. Gotta commend this person’s frugal nature. They keep on fixing up their shotgun with tape, rather than springing for a new one.
    And they sure don’t spend much on food – look at the “food saver” device on the upper left, to keep leftovers fresher, longer…

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