Liberte Austin’s Hunting Digest: Bears, Pythons and Nazis Oh My!

Hunting is dangerous! I often find myself walking through the woods, alone, thinking WTF is wrong with me? My affinity for wild game has led me to some dangerous places and put me in dangerous situations. But I can’t stop myself. Tip: always be prepared! Carry a sidearm and duct tape. Duct tape solves everything. Think how it could help this guy . . .

New Hampshire! Your Fish & Game Commissioner has serious anti-gun issues . . .  Time To Stop an Anti-Gun New Hampshire Fish and Game Commissioner – “Have you ever received a ticket for a loaded firearm in a vehicle? Were you ever told by a Conservation Officer that if you are observed carrying a loaded firearm in the woods, at any time, it is presumed you are poaching? Have you ever been forced to take a Conservation Officer back to the area where you harvested wild game and then been subjected to an endless barrage of questions, then, after answering those questions truthfully, your reward for cooperation was a ticket for maybe being a little to close to the road or to close to building even though no one was harmed?” I would literally be in prison for all the times I walked in the woods with a loaded weapon on my hip in Texas . . . looking for butterflies of course. Definitely not planning any trips to New Hampshire.

Here’s a good job for your teenager! Florida has a state-funded pilot Python-Elemination Program. Qualified hunters earn $8.10 an hour for up to eight hours a day PLUS an extra bonus depending on the length of the snake . . . Huge pythons caught so far during state’s Everglades hunting challenge – “The biggest catch, so far, went to hunter Patrick Campbell who caught a python measuring 15 feet, 10 inches and weighing 135 pounds, according to the South Florida Water Management District. The second largest catch was made by Nicholas Banos and trapping partner Leonardo Sanchez whose python measured 15 feet, 2 inches and weighed 144 pounds. The agency is paying hunters to kill invasive pythons over a 60-day period. During the program’s first 10 days, nearly $2,000 has been paid out officials announced Tuesday.”

Some people just don’t get it . . . The History Channel Must Stop Airing “Swamp People” – “Killing animals is not an acceptable thing, nor should it be televised as a reality TV show. It is clear that the History Channel and the producers of Swamp People are solely interested in making money wherever possible and they clearly have no regard for wildlife. Swamp People is a reality TV show that the History Channel airs which documents the Cajuns, or swamp people, that live in Louisiana in the swamp areas who hunt and kill innocent alligators during alligator season in order to make a living. In doing so, these ‘swamp people’ go around on a boat looking for alligators to slaughter.” Since when are alligators innocent? Never forget Disney! 

The antis want to destroy hunting like schools destroyed sex for us with those horrid sex education videos in 6th grade . . . Kill shots are educational but can they ultimately destroy hunting?  “Kill shots satisfy the cynicism of people who watch hunting shows and videos. But, I fear, they also lend ammunition to anti-hunting activists all too eager to depict hunters as bloodthirsty savages . . .The people who wish to eliminate hunting aren’t going to go away. They’ll use any wedge they can to rid society of a practice they abhor. Let’s hope kill shots aren’t that wedge.” Here’s my latest kill shot . . .

Love that Benelli shotgun! Review next week.

JWT’s wife — a serious scientist — says bigger, smarter Neanderthals lost out because they couldn’t eat as varied a diet as homo sapiens. Does that include each other . . .  Stone Age cannibals: Hunting each other not worth the hassle – “A new study suggests that ancient tribes were probably not hunting each other just for food. That’s because ‘we are not very nutritious, on a calorie level,’ compared to large game animals, said James Cole of the University of Brighton in England. Next to a mammoth, even a dozen burly Neanderthals would be slim pickings.” Tastes like chicken?

Grizzly hunting in British Columbia is on the ropes. Like dozens of publications, huffingtonpost.com published an entirely one-sided look at the issue . . . A Timeline of How Grizzly Hunting Turned into a Major Election Issue in British Columbia – “Grizzly bear trophy hunting is an outdated tradition that serves no other purpose than ego-gratification and it is about time to remove this practice, which has no substantial economic or social value.” The 2017 bear hunting season could well be BC’s last.

I’m surprised Canadian anti-hunters’ arguments didn’t evoke Godwin’s Law . . . Revealed: How expedition ordered by Nazi chief Himmler to discover the roots of Ayran man in Tibet turned into a months-long drinking and hunting bender – “Orders by Heinrich Himmler for artifacts and evidence of a super-race that the Germans were descended from were largely ignored by the team in the famous 1938 trek to the roof of the world [Tibet]. Having sent them on their way the explorers – led by avid duck hunter and zoologist Ernst Schäfer [above] – parked their boss’ demands and concerned themselves mostly with drinking and killing local wildlife to take back home.” If only the rest of those Nazi bastards had been so easily distracted . . .

There are people I’d hunt with any day, like my pal Matt. And then there are people I would never hunt with, even if I was starving to death. Mostly people who can’t shut up. What’s your hunting “buddy” pet peeve?