It doesn’t seem possible to ring out an old year without everyone and their uncle Pete predicting what the next twelve months will hold. But let’s face it, most of them are rank amateurs. When you really want to know what will happen, you go to a pro. And who better to reveal what’s in the crystal ball than the ever-popular, uncannily accurate…Amazing Kreskin? Last seen publicly while sitting on Johnny’s couch between Charo and Joey Bishop, Kreskin has – improbably – resurfaced just in time to give the world his bold prognostications for 2012. And you’d better buckle up, folks, because he sees some real doozies headed our way…
Besides unveiling a humdinger like, “everything about people’s lives will be accessible with technology” (Mark Zuckerberg call your office!) AK’s prodigious prediction, reported by mcall.com, that will have the Armed Intelligentsia dropping their New Year’s morning fizzing glass of Alka Seltzer all over their keyboards is:
More people will own guns. A by-product of the increasing crime rate is that more people will buy guns, Kreskin says. “The gun industry will soar,” he says. “Owning weaponry is always powerful when there is a breakdown in society.” However he says gun owners are “under a delusion that carrying a weapon will protect them,” because it will not.
You can’t accuse AK of taking the easy path can you? After years of declining firearm ownership and serial bankruptcies in the gun-making industry due to declining demand, Kreskin bravely peers into the mists of the unknowable and divines a turn-around in the beleaguered gun business. Sure hope he’s right.
All TTAG readers can do is slide a little closer to the edge of their seats and wait breathlessly for The Amazing One’s next prophetic utterance. What will it be? The relaxation of gun control laws across the country? More shooters gravitating toward “tacticool” products? Oooh, I know! Maybe we’ll even see – amid Kreskin’s predicted firearm industry boom – more interest in guns and self defense…among women!
I don’t know how he does it. Living with the gift of that kind of foresight must be such a burden. So let’s help Mr. K out with some predictions of our own. Look into your own crystal ball…what do you think Kreskin’s next prediction – gun-related or not – will be?