It’s Time to Regulate the Real Culprit That Kills Hundreds of Thousands of Americans Annually

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Spoons kill more than six times as many Americans every year than firearms. It’s time for some common sense silverware control in this country. For the children. If it saves just one life . . . .

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110 COMMENTS

      • The issue there being that the cost of the medical system is less than what it provides. Many, many, many more times more people would die without it.

        Medical error is regrettable and more should be done to try to minimize it but 400K a year is nothing compared to the millions that would die within a few months if the medical system just *poof* disappeared.

        In that regard, it’s kinda like guns. The benefits outweigh the costs but the costs are highly publicized.

        Obesity doesn’t fall into that category. It has basically no benefit and is all cost. If the rate of obesity went back to the 1960 rate of ~6% (an ~86% reduction from current) the result would save an ungodly number of lives yearly and reduce medical costs by a nearly unimaginable amount.

        Your major killers are cardiovascular issues and cancer. You could reduce both in really, really, really, really big ways with a major reduction in obesity because it’s the major driver of the cardiac and circulation causes of death and a major driver of cancer rates.

        • True, but that KFC extra-crispy, extra-tasty and Krispy-Kreme jelly doughnut taste so damn *goooooood*.

          Fat-shaming is now officially on the outs by the Leftist Scum ™, so what other forms of social motivation is available?

        • Polcat —

          Abortions in US in 2020 = 930,000

          Deaths from heart disease = 697,000

          Deaths from cancer = 606,500

          It’s close. The number of abortions dropped to just under a million for the first time in the US in 2013.

        • Not really sure why abortion comes into this but…

          A medical procedure has generally been defined historically as something like this: “An activity directed at or performed on an individual with the object of improving health, treating disease or injury, or making a diagnosis.” Even wikipedia knows this.

          Therefore, since abortion provides no diagnosis, treats no disease or injury and any argument for “improving health” is pretty tenuous (at best) I don’t think I’d classify abortion as a “medical procedure”.

          There are medical procedures that terminate a pregnancy such as those to deal with an ectopic pregnancy but those are not generally considered to be “abortions”. Those are actual medical procedures insofar as they treat an injury and prevent progression to further injury or death. They have the side-effect of killing the fetus in many cases but that’s not the reason the operation is performed.

          So, in this regard I’d put abortion and obesity in the same category. They cause harm with little-to-no benefit. The cost-benefit analysis doesn’t really slant in their direction, which again, is different than guns or the medical system in general.

        • Alas! A True perspicacious observer of reality. Yes, firearms are, indeed, dangerous. And like other aequally or more inherently dangerous mechanical items like Chainsaws, construction and machine equipment and the worst of all, the common vehicles we use, but the Cost to the Liberty in a Free country like ours would be too great by comparison if the people were forced to be banned from ownership of guns.
          In fact, the tendency of the Government to abuse their power would run rampant and out of control and turn everything into a tortuous dicatorship. And life would be worth much less than it already is now and wouldn’t be worth living for many.

          That’s why it is a highly protected right that the visionary Framers knew had to be a requirement for a Free nation of the people by the people and for the people.

          And that’s why it “Shall NOT Be Infringed”.

  1. Rather we do the opposite through the asinine “body positivity” and “healthy at any size” campaigns.

    Sometimes I get the feeling people think they can alter reality if they just hashtag enough.

      • And this is true, also, of Religionism.

        And if you begin to establish more credible accuracy with your factual analysis than their narrative represents, Marxist liberals will neutralize and cancel the debate by accusing you of being White Supremists or some other kind of so-called social terrorist organization.

        Again, just like the religionists, who will immediately categorize you as an Anti-Christ, or worse, a Demonic presence in their version.

        Back in the day, Religionism was a form of today’s Communism. Think about it.

  2. Maybe we need ‘spoon buy backs’. But people would probably 3D print spoons to turn in to turn a profit.

    And what about sporks! Oh the humanity!

  3. … and mass spooning and mass forking… cleverly concealable as orgies until its too late.

  4. Anyone can by a spoon at a dinnerware show no questions asked, the ‘dinnerware loophole’ needs to be closed and we need universal registration for spoons, and ‘Spoon Free Zone’ signs will prevent this spoon horror from happening.

    • …..and then the ‘Fed’s’ will want their piece of the action and they’ll create a whole new ‘Alphabet-Agency’ ….the …….’wait for it!’ SBI — ‘Spoon Bureau of Indigestion’ after the ‘Dark Lord Dem’s’ deal with US Patriots and the Alternate Lbq6*2gshxm’s they will be comin’ for us Spoon slingin’ Open Carriers! and inside the pocket concealed ‘Sporkers!’ IS There NO End to their Onslaught! ;c) Oh, the humanity! wink wink .40 !

  5. I think we all know deaths have nothing to do with ‘Lib-Psycosis’. They’ve shown their hand; “we just want their guns”! Public safety? Pfff…

  6. Mom’s demand Common Since Spoon Control Now! Turn off the View, put on your sheets and brown shirts and march with CSSCN! Do it for the children.

  7. Don’t worry about obesity in this nation. Another year of biden running the nation and there won’t be enough food at the stores for people to get or stay fat.

    Famine is a hell of a health plan.

    • The number of people who’s kidneys shut down due to completely unregulated ketosis would kill tens of millions within six months.

  8. On a % rate basis; 297 times more people have been seriously injured or died due to obesity or obesity related conditions in the last 20 years than the people seriously injured or died due to firearms related conditions in the last 200 years.

        • Jessica Cox is a young (and obviously extraordinarily flexible) woman born with no arms who can fly a plane with her feet :

  9. Obesity is complex. I used to know a teenage girl who was small and thin until she reached puberty. Then, she blew up like a balloon. No change in eating habits. Some people are genetically programmed to be fat. As long as they exercise, it isn’t unhealthy.

    Sumo wrestlers would appear to be morbidly obese. In reality they are healthy and in great physical condition because they work out hours every day. Their fat is superficial; it doesn’t surround their internal organs. The latter is what kills most overweight people.

      • A very large number of professional athletes from all sports and nations die fairly young. There must be something other than weight causing this.

    • My son is a doctor. Personally obsessed with health, fitness. He and DIL run frequent marathons….NYC Marathon again in October. I tell him he is going to look so foolish laying in the hospital dying of nothing. At least, I’ve enjoyed every steak and hot fudge sundae…..
      It is appointed unto man once to die……regardless of health and fitness. God assumed we understood the last phrase.

  10. I have a drawer full of “ghost” spoons, but none of them have gone off on their own to assault anyone at least not that I’m aware of. Are Silver spoons more dangerous than Stainless ones or is it the other way around? As an owner of both varieties that might be important information.

    • Funny you should mention plastic, just got home after an evening dinner cruise on the Inland Waterway in Daytona Beach and they served on paper plates with PLASTIC tableware, BUT NO SPOONS! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  11. My son’s girlfriend brought over a homemade peach cobbler. Peaches are in around here now. I think I’ll go find the biggest spoon I can. Some vanilla ice cream, too.

    • Spoon size is none of their business. The bigger the pie the bigger the spoon.
      Use a spoon everyday, it’s the American way!

    • My son’s girlfriend brought over a homemade peach cobbler.

      She’s obviously a keeper… Sounds like she already knows how to work you…

  12. O THA SPOON ADDICTION . WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN.
    O THA FORK ADDICTION , WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN .
    O THA BUTTER KNIFE ……

  13. NOW DAN … LOL … you know you shouldn’t display such phobia towards Rosie O’Donnell and her type. Folks will only refer to you as a closet liberal for advocating such common sense.

    • so put in a .22 LR conversion kit and go rim fire. 🙂

      The democrats efforts are likely not going to pass the senate, but in the event it does there are injunction and stay efforts waiting for them that can get it eventually to the SCOTUS. I tend to think the SCOTUS would look at a case against this sooner than others because it goes directly to intentionally defying the SCOTUS rulings and attacks the very core of Bruen.

      • In that event I’d probably just ignore the law.

        I’m fairly tired of these people’s games where they think they can control everything. .gov’s never been competent but it’s become extremely obvious that they are incompetent as they’ve expanded into everything.

  14. I’m a Blacksmith. I have a reasonably well equipped machine shop. I also am fairly good as a wood carver. Take my spoons or forks or knives. I can make more.
    I know how to smelt ore and make iron. I know how to convert iron to steel. I know where to look for iron ore not all that far from home. I can also make spoons from wood, horn, and other materials. I can also teach those skills to others.
    Now I’m thinking. I wonder how it would look if I make the furniture for an AR out of maple or hickory instead of buying plastics. I may just have another off season/winter project.
    Need to check the prices on aluminum blocks and high carbon steel bar stock.

  15. I was asked to verify my age (58) when buying an aluminum SPORK at Walmart. Their electronic system said you have to be over 18 or 16? I forgot which but kids ain’t buying a spork without a parent.

  16. Thank goodness, finally some sense out of the senseless I’m 100% in favor of banning motor vehicles.
    Call me a fudd if you want but nobody needs more then 125hp.

  17. Nice to see the tide shifting against obesity.

    Cut the obesity rate by 25% and you’ll probably extend Medicare solvency by a decade.

    • “Nice to see the tide shifting against obesity.”

      I’m seeing much of the opposite. “Attractive” plus-sized models on the cover of Sport Illustrated, commercials on TV showing a plump woman in a bathing suit dancing around a swimming pool while snacking, social media calling out people for “fat-shaming” …

      I used to watch my mother exercise to Jack LaLanne on TV while growing up in the ’60s.

      • I’m old enough to remember when I said obesity was bad for you right here on TTAG and took pages of shit for it. That’s what I’m actually referring to here, though I probably should have made that more clear.

        I don’t give a fuck about landwhales on the Cosmo cover or on TV (which I haven’t watched in years). My attitude towards “fat and proud of it” folks is that the solution we need is a new industry involving flatbed trucks with harpoon guns on the back rolling around loaded with Japanese tourists paying to try to set a record.

        Got a legit medical problem? That sucks, I’m sorry. However, I know people in wheelchairs who are much, much fitter than people who are fully ambulatory and generally the wheelchair bound have a better attitude too. So, pardon my French but fuck that latter group. Especially the morbidly obese 20 and 30-somethings. Disgusting. Children? The parents need charges brought against them.

        Half the country doesn’t have a medical problem, they have a discipline problem. Less than 2% have legit medical conditions do, which means 39%+ of the country needs to be cut off from Medicare and ruthlessly hunted by trucks full of asians with actual whaling equipment.

        • “…involving flatbed trucks with harpoon guns on the back rolling around loaded with Japanese tourists paying to try to set a record.”

          I think you’ve identified a future “growth industry.” I like it!

        • I call it “landwhaling” and propose it to be an entire sector to create everything from soap to landwhale based heating oil.

          I’m half kidding about it being a good idea. But the obesity promotion and the narcissistic behavior patterns that drive it need to be done away with. The occasional fat person is like the occasional smoker, it’s whatever. But society shouldn’t be promoting behavior that’s deleterious to members of that society because that’s corrosive to society itself.

  18. You laugh, but didn’t the nanny state of Commiefornia try to ban large sodas to prevent obesity or something?

    • That was the “Little Emperor” in NYC, restricted to 16oz, guess his understanding of REFILLS was pretty much on the same level as his line of sight in a crowded room (very limited).

  19. Remember, before the ‘ghost spoon’ ban goes into effect get your 80% spoon kits.

  20. Relax, no one’s coming for your spoons. We just want *common sense* fatass control.

    Mandatory cholesterol tests before buying silverware. Nobody needs an assault steak knife. Nobody needs more than one fork. Mandatory month long waiting period before buying food. Close the spork loophole. High capacity plates are killing our children.

    • When I was a kid we were told to clean our dinner plate no matter what. Kids were starving in India. It was a sin to let that food go to waste.

      • I remember my mom telling me that.

        I hears it enough and 1 day I had the bright idea to say “well then, send it to them”

        I got up off the floor, readjusted my face so that it was on the front of my head, and finished eating.

  21. The rise in obesity coincided with the rise of GMO wheat and processed food. Beer belly? No, that’s a wheat belly. A little known fact: abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym.

  22. Oh, we start regulating spoons and forks and Michael Moore is gonna be PISSED. That and his camera are the only things that make life worth living. Gonna be fun to watch Fat Mike rail FOR gun control, and AGAINST portion control. (*hehehe*).

    • Lamp, I had questions about your use of a PPK as a carry weapon from one of yesterday’s threads. Should I bring it up here and piss off a lot of people with an off-topic?

  23. Carrying a concealed spoon is illegal in most of NYC including subways and any food establishment has to post signs if spoons are welcome.
    While in Illinois a SOID card is necessary before spoons can be purchased while other states have banned spoon ownership entirely.
    Wonder why there are so many fat politicians, surely they aren’t spoon fed. I hear their spoon guards carry an assortment of spoons in the event of an emergency.

    • All spoons should be micro stamped with a serial # and name and address of the maker.
      Spoon kits should be illegal along with partial kits and anything that could be used to make a spoon.
      Hands converted to a temporary spoon should be viewed with extreme scrutiny.

      • NEED…..NEED…..ya don’t NEED no damn spoon to eat what the gubermint will allow you to eat.
        No Open Carry; must apply for a SOID card to be able to touch a spoon at a spoon show or spoon shop…..
        “Suitable for sporting purposes”?????
        No more than 10 spoonfulls allowed……..
        If it will save just one fat kid’s life…..

  24. Glad I live in a right to carry spoon state. How else do scarf my beans and rice with my taco?

  25. Firstly the maths. 6x the number of Deaths by Gun Crime per annum is NOT hundreds of thousands -it’s 132,000. Secondly wher the hell do you get the stats from.

    HUNDREDS of thousands of CHILDREN killed by SPOONS every year don’t be so bloody stupid. Mind the fact that so many Americans will actually believe this sort of ‘grab from the air statistic’ is even MORE bloody stupid. I’d like to see just wher thse figures come from .
    Put it this way HUNDREDS, as a PLURAL descripive noun to a reasonable mind means MULTIPLES of HUNDREDS which again to a reasonable logical mind would mean at least THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND. THat means to a reasonable mind MORE deaths AMERICAN among children, because the opening commen states CHILDREN that the deaths attributed on a yearly bases to spoons exceeded the number of deaths in the suffered byn the US FORCES since WW2 and by a considerable margin.
    Even given poetic license and taking the figure of 132,000 that’s still greater than the casualties suffered by the US Forces in Vietnam Korea, Iraq, and Afghanistan.

    Ignorant, illiterate, delusional, does not even begin to describe it.” !

    • Ignorant, illiterate, delusional, does not even begin to describe it.” !

      Funny, you know this about yourself, you even attempt to PROJECT onto others, yet you still come here and pretend you are relevant like everyone is just sitting around waiting for YOUR words of wisdom to put the period on the final statement… How Walter Mittyish of you.

    • A hall, you described yourself perfectly in your last sentence:
      “Ignorant, illiterate, delusional, does not even begin to describe”
      You yes You.
      Oh! and you seek reference, well just read any of your posts.

  26. Gracie- Shame on you for drawing attention to and pointing out the MAGNA HYPOCRISES (the Great Hypocrisy). Don’t you know you’re never supposed to point this out, as it causes Liberals’ Anal Sphincters to dialate and then they evacuate the contents of their brains. Shame on you young Lady. 30 lashes with a wet noodle (Just kidding with you).

    The fact is that there are many things that cause far more death than guns do. From Medical/Prescription Foul-Ups, Alcohol to Obesity and CoVid Vaccines. Some are preventable, some are not (as of yet), but all definitely take more lives every year than guns do. The Great Hypocrisy is that Liberals ignore these other causes, and focus and obfuscate about Guns. The Media, like the dutiful little arshole buddies they are, report the lies as Gospel Truth.i honestly can’t remember the last time I heard the Media give an Honest assessment on any subject.

    Thank you for being a good sport and putting up with my ribbing. It’s done in fondness and mutual love for the subject, guns.

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