You know what they say, necessity is the mother of invention. And no one is going to accuse William Lloyd of a dearth of creativity any time soon. Will was apparently feeling a little peckish yesterday and decided some squirrel would really hit the spot. Unfortunately, he had a mismatch of tools for the job. Being a convicted felon, he didn’t own a firearm. What he did have, though, was a BB gun. Unfortunately, unless you’re really close, all a BB gun is likely to do to a surrying sciuridae is chase him away. Or piss him off. Whatever, Lloyd rummaged through his nightstand drawer, then turned over the couch cushions and found…a fotay caliber cartridge. And that’s the point where innovation met inspiration . . .
No, he didn’t try to cram that big boy bullet into his Pumpmaster 760. What, do you think he’s stoopid or something? Instead, he concocted an ingenious plan using a third item — every man’s most faithful friend (right behind his Labrador) — a roll of duct tape.
Yep. Mrs. Lloyd’s boy Will taped the round to the end of his BB gun. His Rube Goldbergian plan was to fire the gun, using the speedy ball bearing to strike the cartridge’s primer, and send 165 grains of bushy-tailed whoopass toward his desired protein source of the day. Unfortunately, the whole thing worked perfectly.
gainesville.com relates the predictable results:
Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge’s primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.
He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.
Will apparently didn’t know that there’s a reason a bullet is designed to be fired in a chamber that will contain the explosive force of its powder. We’re also guessing he’d never tried to find — let alone cook — what’s left of a small rodent that had been hit by a projectile of a caliber starting with a 4.
In the aftermath, there’s both good news and bad news where William’s concerned. On the positive side, he made a quick recovery and, according to his neighbors, was back at work the next day. Unfortunately, he’s also been charged with discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon. As far as we’re concerned, we can’t wait to see if he finds a way to creatively use the IGOTD trophy he’ll be getting to bring home some unsuspecting future entree. We just know he’s got it in him. [h/t Avery S.]