“Tyjuan L. Johnson, 27, initially claimed that he simply was walking up North 17th Street in Lafayette on Wednesday night when he heard what sounded like “firecrackers going off in the distance” and got shot in the right hand.” Where have we heard that one before? Oh yeah. Almost everywhere. There are people the camera loves and then there are people like Tyjuan who’s now a resident of the Tippecanoe County jail because . . .

Lafayette police were called to St. Elizabeth Central hospital at 11:17 p.m. Wednesday to investigate a shooting that had just taken place. There, they spoke with Johnson, who was lying in a hospital bed with a towel wrapped around his right hand. The bullet went through it.

But the coppers didn’t believe his cock and bull “just walking down the street” story.

After learning that Johnson’s girlfriend sent an acquaintance a text message about Johnson accidentally shooting himself, police got a search warrant for their home on Banstead Court. There, officers found blood spots on the carpet leading to the bathroom, along with more blood in the bathroom sink and walls.

Damn, foiled by an electronic text trail. Besides the blood the cops found a .22 Derringer hidden in a popcorn box. Cracker Jack’s giving away some cool toys these days, no? The only problem is the Derringer’s serial number has been filed off. Oops. We hope Tyjuan won’t want to file his name off of his IGOTD award after all the effort we expend to have it engraved for him.




  1. I just love it when people who likely have little knowledge about Darwin’s theories nevertheless work so hard to prove them.

  2. Unfortunately this kind of event says nothing about Darwin’s theory. If a man already has seven children by his five “baby mammas,” as in a story last week, then he’s proved incredibly fit and it really doesn’t matter if he blows himself up this week. He’s already out-reproduced most surgeons and senators. The numerous shall inherit the earth, for a time, until conditions demand that intelligence or prosperity are required to reproduce. The government has effectively precluded that event. The next most likely reality is that breeding populations separate intentionally, the rich or smart getting richer or smarter. At some point that group will undermine the value of a vote as completely as they can. Expect it to happen.

    • The movie “Idiocracy” was funny at first, but now in my head it’s more a horror film.

      • I tend to agree that it’s already happened, with only anecdotal evidence, both as to the population going bimodal and democracy being undermined in favor of “bipartisan” money politics. Shame it had to be that way.

    • If the government would stop taking food from the intelligent and responsible to feed the stupid and the ignorant, then this would not be a problem.

      • Feeding them isn’t the problem. High-end medical care for the 51% that don’t pay for it is the problem. Part of the smart group, physicians, are driving that game, and they’ve got the votes of the 51%…a perfect exploitation of democracy. I’d be happier if we paid physicians what they pay them in Germany or Sweden, and did some triage for people who are going to die in three months regardless of treatment. Maybe then the nation wouldn’t go bankrupt?

        • I call Bullshit on it being “physicians driving that game”. Are you going to help pay the hundreds of thousand dollars in loan debt just for the privilege of treating people like you, ungrateful. How about the numerous hours a week of work that generates no income?? Are you going to pay the tens of thousand of dollars a year for malpractice insurance? How about stopping frivolous law suits and then maybe physicians won’t order testing just to cover their asses. You sir, need to get a clue.

  3. Dang! The best thing I ever got was a little plastic sub that would bob around in the sink with the help of some baking soda.

  4. Is there any reason a person should have his house ransacked and be kidnapped and thrown in a cage if he injures himself at home via a firearm?

    • Only so we can keep the police state going strong. Same goes for the serial number “crime”.

      • You may have a point, although this guy looks like G & T material for the local Purdue University.

  5. Your racist jokes aside, this shining example of gun responsibility was one of you. Your ranks are shot through with guys who, although they qualify to own guns are simply unfit to do so.

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