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Pogo the clown (courtesy

Regular readers will recall that Bakersfield, California was recently home to a clown outbreak, including an unconfirmed report of an armed Bozo. reports that the trend has spread to the Mitten State. “Police arrested a 54-year-old man [not shown] after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street. Grand Traverse County sheriff’s deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage. The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun.” To be clear, a Michigan personal protection order (PPO) is . . .

a court order to “stop threats or violence against you.” That’s according to, which also asserts that “a PPO can help protect you from someone who is threatening, hurting or harassing you. You can get a PPO if you have a reasonable fear for your personal liberty or safety.”

Despite the fact that John Wayne Gacy [a.k.a., “Pogo the Clown”, above] planted dozens of victims under his floorboards in nearby Illinois, the site offers no guidance over whether or not the courts consider coulrophobia a “reasonable” fear, with or without the trombone-playing element. In other words, no PPO for Bozo, generally speaking.

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  1. Even if I didn’t know who John Wayne Gacy was, that’s still an image that terrifies me. That’s the kind of face that gets 12 loads of magnum buckshot as soon as I can grab my VEPR.

  2. “…a PPO can help protect you from someone who is threatening, hurting or harassing you.”

    How? Paper cuts?

    A PPK will do a much better job protecting you than a PPO ever could.

  3. This guy has a double-whammy for me: Being a clown and playing the trombone.

    John Wayne Gacy, the clown in Steven King’s “It,” Ronald McDonald (just consider how many deaths due to heart attacks that clown is responsible for!), the list goes on. Being a clown is evidence of trying to intimidate and create terror. Playing the trombone, especially playing it badly, is an imminent threat to a person’s hearing and central nervous system. The damage can be irreversible.

    I think if you are aggressively approached by a trombone playing clown, you have justification for self defense. I don’t think there is a jury that would convict you.

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