That persistent burning sensation Jorge Perez felt in his crotch wasn’t gonorrhea. If only. Instead, officers arriving at his Lehigh Acres, FL home found him with some toasty testicles as a result of a flare gun he negligently discharged. According to abc-7.com, “Perez told deputies he was playing with a flare gun that was unloaded.” We guess no one’s ever explained to Jorge that the four rules apply to all guns. “After dry firing the gun a few times, Perez says he then loaded the gun and put it down. When he picked it up, Perez forgot the gun was loaded and fired it at the ground. Perez told deputies the flare round struck the floor and ricocheted into his genital area.” One in a million shot, Doc. One in a million.
Stupid should hurt. I’m guessing it did this time. Inventive way to get rid of crabs?
And everyone thought the Underwear Bomber (or the more accurate name, Fire Crotch) was trying to blow up a plane.
Or some personal hygiene?
I guess he won’t have to shave down there… seeing as how the fire probably burned off whatever hair happened to be there…
Which was it, ground or floor? Different ricochet characteristics, y’know.
Sounds like a Darwin Award winner!
How to take yourself out of the gene pool without killing yourself. I wonder if he used the ACME diy vasectomy kit. h/t Wile E. Coyote.
Hopefully this happened before he was able to breed.
We can only hope…
Ah it’s good to hear stupidity can still be painful.
Fresh roasted nuts? Nah, way too easy. I agree with you JWM and Paul, stupid should hurt. I bet he votes too.
How does that Elvis song go? I feel my temperature rising Higher, higher It’s burning Hunk a hunk a burning love?
That explains the little scream after that line.
I’m thinking a Jerry Lee Lewis’ Great Balls of Fire is even more appropriate…
Obama tomorrow: Need to ban Evil Red Rifles.
It certainly gives new meaning to “those damn hemorrhoids are flaring up again”.
That’s the city right next to mine.
……
We don’t talk about Lee High Acres
Unless he goes to the hospital & a gorgeous supermodel has to rub in the lotion, then I’m buyin me a flare gun, Randy
You probably won’t get the same nurse. Besides, if your genitals are burnt you probably can’t do much with a pretty nurse.
And just how much alcohol was involved in this negligent dischrge, I wonder?
I lol’d
Too Bad he Didn’t Reload…