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That persistent burning sensation Jorge Perez felt in his crotch wasn’t gonorrhea. If only. Instead, officers arriving at his Lehigh Acres, FL home found him with some toasty testicles as a result of a flare gun he negligently discharged. According to, “Perez told deputies he was playing with a flare gun that was unloaded.” We guess no one’s ever explained to Jorge that the four rules apply to all guns. “After dry firing the gun a few times, Perez says he then loaded the gun and put it down.¬†When he picked it up, Perez forgot the gun was loaded and fired it at the ground.¬†Perez told deputies the flare round struck the floor and ricocheted into his genital area.” One in a million shot, Doc. One in a million.

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    • Or some personal hygiene?

      I guess he won’t have to shave down there… seeing as how the fire probably burned off whatever hair happened to be there…

    • How to take yourself out of the gene pool without killing yourself. I wonder if he used the ACME diy vasectomy kit. h/t Wile E. Coyote.

  1. Unless he goes to the hospital & a gorgeous supermodel has to rub in the lotion, then I’m buyin me a flare gun, Randy

    • You probably won’t get the same nurse. Besides, if your genitals are burnt you probably can’t do much with a pretty nurse.


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