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Rednecks have a long, proud history in this country. They come from hearty, hard-working stock and, like so many other subgroups in a melting pot society, they’re an important part of what makes the country work. They’re also big contributors to our culture, style and cuisine. And hell, let’s face it, they’re one of the few groups you can still rag on without ending up with outraged and offended protestors outside your house. All of which brings us to Mark Wach…

From blogs.tcpalm.com:

A 43-year-old man said to have shot at his lawn mower while intoxicated, fought his adult son and pulled a shotgun on the adult son was arrested after being shocked three times with a Taser, according to recently released records.

Mark Thomas Wach, of the 4400 block of Southwest 83rd Street in Palm City, was arrested Nov. 20 on charges including aggravated domestic assault with a firearm and domestic battery in connection with the incidents near his home.

Wach told a Martin County Sheriff’s deputy he was puzzled about why he was going to jail.

Perhaps it wasn’t pulling a shotgun on his son that got him arrested but opening fire on a defenseless lawn implement. That’s gotta be at least a misdemeanor.

 

Wach was on top of his son, and the deputy told him to stop fighting. Wach didn’t, and the deputy shocked him with an X-26 Taser. Wach didn’t follow additional instructions and was shocked twice more.

The son wouldn’t complete a written statement because he didn’t want his dad to get in trouble.

Wach said he didn’t understand why he was being taken to the Martin County jail. He said he routinely shoots in the yard, saying “fighting is what redneck people do.”

Three Taser jolts. Impressive. Keep that in mind when considering electronic stopping power when dealing with a drunk. And while fighting may very well be what redneck people do, rolling around on the front porch with a loaded shotgun between the two of you can lead to more than just a wounded Lawn Boy.

We hope Wach’s son has since bailed his daddy out of the hoosegow. We want him to be able to pick up his IGOTD commemorative plaque in person. We just hope he leaves his shotgun – and his hooch – at home.

[h/t Patrick Brown]

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19 COMMENTS

  1. Lived down there in Martin County for a while. Two main groups of people, the transplants from up north and the locals. I went back up north.

  2. The son wouldn’t complete a written statement because he didn’t want his dad to get in trouble.

    Actually, the son couldn’t complete a written statement because he can’t write. And his dad is a real Wach job!

    • What makes you think he couldn’t write?

      [Preemptive extension of the middle finger to anyone who decides to start stereotyping Southerners as uneducated, illiterate & uncultured fools.]

      • Dude, didn’t you read?

        “And hell, let’s face it, they’re one of the few groups you can still rag on without ending up with outraged and offended protestors outside your house.”

      • “stereotyping Southerners as uneducated, illiterate & uncultured fools”

        Really? Are you a Southerner? Because if you are, you’d know there’s a pretty wide gap between the average someone who happens to live below the Mason-Dixon line and a redneck. Two very distinct groups.

    • What makes you think he couldn’t write?

      [Preemptive extension of the middle finger to anyone who decides to start stereotyping Southerners as uneducated, illiterate & uncultured idiots]

    • that video is pretty hilarious. i’m imagining the son looking like the fat dude in the clip. Adam Z, don’t make this something its not. this guy and is kid are retarded, end of story.

      • The guy is an idiot. I don’t see anything in the story to indicate that the son behaved as such. No matter how messed up dad is, he still loves his dad & doesn’t want him to be in legal trouble. What makes him “retarded”? Relation isn’t enough,demographic you assume it has something to do with demography.

        • I swear, I’m having serious smartphone issues today… LOL

          That was supposed to read “Relation isn’t enough unless you assume it has sometging to do with demography.”

          I’m done fighting my mobile browser & autocorrect now. Somebody beer me.

        • i did not mean to imply anything demographically, there just seems to be a catastrophic failure in the decision making process here:

          dad- gets shocked 3x’s
          son- thinks dad still won’t get in trouble after getting shocked 3x’s by not giving a statement.
          Btw, I live in the south too dude.

  3. Sorry about the DP. Got an error message saying my comment was not posted & thought perhaps the page didn’t like my usage of the word “fool”. Strangely, despite this, it still posted. (WTF-moment of the day, LOL)

  4. Receiving approximately 50% of one’s genetic material from an obvious defective like the senior Wach is bad way to start out one’s life. Being threatened with a shotgun by your own father is a bad way to continue it.

    • Actually he was not being threatened with a shot gun, there were more people involved than reported in this bogus piece of garbage of an article. The shotgun didn’t even belong to either two, but of someone who was threatening their lives. They were trying to take the gun from them so they themselves would not get shot by the other person. The son is actually more intelligent and successful than you could ever be in your pathetic life. I pray for scumbags like you.

  5. If you don’t know the actual facts then don’t report a bogus story. This is so far from the truth that it is sick. I pray for scumbags like you who twist the truth. Sick!

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