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My daughters like Legos, and I like guns. How can we combine our favorite hobbies for some high-quality family time? It’s hard to make useful shooting accessories out of plastic bricks, and children’s handling of real firearms must be so carefully structured and supervised that it doesn’t lend itself to carefree playtime. What’s a parent to do?

Say hello to my 'dresky tovarisch'!

Enter Brick Arms (, a line of Lego-compatible small arms and custom minifigures that let you build your own Lego diorama of Omaha Beach, Da Nang, or O.P. Restrepo. Or simply kit out your existing Lego world with toothpick-sized depictions of real guns, bipods, and bayonets. They even have light swords and needler pistols from Halo 3, but I’ll leave those to the editorial staff at The Truth About Extraterrestrial Guns.

Prices range from twenty-five cents for a Lego-sized Micro Uzi all the way to two bucks for a drum-fed MG34 machinegun. At these unit prices, smart shoppers will buy in quantity to reduce shipping costs.

Fair warning: if your fifth-grader starts to build ‘Lego Gitmo’, you should seek professional help.

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    • ‘Zero Tolerance’ is perfect policy for anenephalic bureaucrats because it requires “Zero Intelligence” to administer. And that’s about all the brainpower that pinheads like (living proof of the Peter) Principle Evelyn Matroianni can muster.

  1. There are a just a couple of additional pieces required:

    1. CIA operative. Comes with briefcase full of cash.

    2. Adnan Khashoggi. Comes with arms and more connections than Ma Bell.

    3. Sacrificial Employee. Ollie North, with other models soon to follow…

    4.The Wheel Of Misfortune. Fueled by the seemingly random winds of politics, wait for the magic arrow to tell you where to place the figures. Just remember it changes from day to day – so even though Osama is your buddy today, you may just leave him to die tomorrow.

    5. Blowback expansion pack, because playing both sides against the middle never works out quite the way you proposed when briefing the Director.

    By WHAM-O!

  2. I bought some of these figures and their associated weapons. Right on my bedroom bookshelf. Very cool stuff!
    Interestingly, brickarms sells the terrorist-looking figure as a “bandit.”

  3. I wonder how they would hold up to being hit by a BB Gun? I remember as a child building a complete trench system and base out of dirt and sticks and manning it with the small green plastic soldiers and then assaulting the base with my BB gun and fire crackers. It would have been awesome to have some of these. Ah well. Probably not in today’s world if were a kid.

  4. I forgot to give a shout-out to my daughter who found the Brick Arms website and said “Dad, you gotta see this!” Thanks, J!

  5. Looking at the guns, and then how the Lego figures have their hands, how are they ever going to properly shoulder the long arms? Just what sort of sloppy gunhandling are we going to be teaching our children?

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