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Not everyone in the UK has lost the stiff-upper-lip, carry-on wartime ethos. Unfortunately, it appears that you have to have actually lived through WWII to show the steel spine exhibited before everything was nationalized and the welfare state was instituted after the big one. A 92 year-old pensioner was getting her do done when her hairdresser’s estranged husband barged into the salon with a shotgun. The unnamed patron didn’t want to watch (or be the victim of) a massacre, so she kicked a table at him. When that didn’t slow him down and he raised his gun, the nonagenarian stepped in front of the hairdresser as the crazed husband fired both barrels.

The unnamed heroine was shot in the neck. The hairdresser took pellets to the leg and another customer was shot in the arm. All will recover, in no small part due to the quick work of the vet from next door who administered first aid. The crazed husband was found five hours later after committing seppuku by gun.

The 92 year-old’s biggest concern when being attended to immediately after the shooting was for her new coif. As the horrifying event took place in the UK, there was never any question of anyone in the shop defending themselves with anything more effective than a piece of furniture. And as the country’s enacted ever-stiffer gun control laws, gun crimes have only accelerated. It must be comforting for criminals to know there’s almost zero chance potential victims will be able to actually defend themselves.

But let’s hoist a pint and toast the granny who shall not be named. May the UK find a few more like her.

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  1. While I salute her spirit and admire her detemination, I must ask the one sticky question everyone else seems willing to ignore: Did she have a permit for the table? I know readers here will label me as a “table-grabber”. But I think there is some common sense middle ground that we can all agree to on the possession of tables.

    Now hear me out before you begin to condemn me. I realize that almost any jail time who be an undue burden on a person at her age. So, we could allow her to tour local schools to speak to children about tables. She could read off a prepared statement about how she felt remorse for the use of the table regardless of the perceived danger.

    Some are going to argue that the accused prepetrator in this particular situation had a shotgun. Granted. But was does it say about her state of mind that she had a table and was prepared to use it? Was the table the responsibility of the parlor owner and if so why was the table not bolted down to the floor? If she had not attacked the confused husband with the table, would he have backed down or left the parlor without injury to anyone else?

    Sarcasm off.

  2. Obviously the Brits are basing their gun control policies on the belief that the bad guys won’t train with the their illegally-held weapons. Just look at this guy who barely hit the broadside of an old lady with two rounds from a shotgun. I was expecting to hear that she caught both rounds in the stomach and isn’t alive anymore. So obviously the key to the Brit’s gun control is hoping that the bad guys won’t actually practice their aim and hoping that there will be a vet clinic or doctor’s office next door to any shooting. Cause obviously banning guns in the country hasn’t worked by itself.

    • I had thought that the ‘vet’ was a veteran, not a veterinarian. After reading it again I think you’re probably right.

      • Aye; “vet” means dog botherer over here.:-)
        There are some small signs of sanity creeping in over here, with several recent cases of crime victims removing turds from the gene pool & it being ruled as justifiable homicide. Even our Prime Minister & Home secretary are on record saying people have a Right to defend themselves using whatever force is necessary.

        I expect more to come in the aftermath of the recent mass violence.

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