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  1. Better hope the long stabby thing doesn’t have a shoulder thing that goes up – otherwise it’d be banned.

    • And if he used that “long stabbie thing” he would be charged with attempted murder or murder depending on the results of the stabbing with said long stabbie thing.

      • LOL that was a pretty funny video.

        “In the land of the gunless, a golf club defines not up close and personal.”

        To all of the anti-gun folks in the U.S. who do keep a baseball bat or other object, such as a “long, stabby thing” by their bedside or in the closet or whatever for defense against an attacker — and there are many of those folks!!! — have you ever pictured what that would be like? Bludgeoning somebody with an F’ing baseball bat? Good freaking lord. Gross. Nightmares for freaking ever. Don’t fool yourself that hitting someone in the noggin with a bat isn’t horrific and mortally dangerous. My god I’d rather be a few more feet away and be forced to put a clean 9mm hole in an attacker than swing a dang bat at them like a caveman and paint the walls red. With all the talk about being “humane” RE hunting and such, there’s also a humane way to physically deter an attacker and it isn’t caving their dang skull in with a dang club or running them through with a freaking sword. That’s cruel, unusual, and disgusting to boot.

  2. So the Aussie is okay with killing a guy with a spear, but using a gun is a no-no? Forget “Land Down Under”, “Land Bass-Ackwards” is a more fitting title.

    • I dunno Dick,

      Is he REALLY OK with using a spear (or the woman with the bat) or is that just what theer choices are reduced to.

      • Good point. Who knows if these people were violently ranting for gun confiscation, or maybe they were all avid shooters who hated the idea of being left defenseless. Either way, they got raw-dogged by the government.

        • Or even more likely: they don’t even know that they could (should?) have the option to use a firearm for self defense. Remember, these people live in a society who’s public opinion against guns has been swayed so completely through misdirection and falacy that they don’t even consider firearms a rational means of defending oneself. This is much the same social brainwashing which is happening today right here in the U.S.

        • Are you referring to the fallacy that a long stabby thing is the only way to wack off someone intent on doing you harm?

    • Well it is also ok to “whack him off at a distance”. Not an approach I would take on a home invader.

  3. These idiots think this is funny. They are probably amongst the group of people that voted for the very bureaucrats to take away their guns.
    Yeah, I would like to see them protect their families with That “long stabby thing” when violence is threatened against their Family. They are as bad, if not worst than the liberal “gun grabbers” in this country.

    • All penis jokes aside, did you notice that the golf club guy said he’d rather be able to neutralize the intruder at a distance, because getting up close to stab the intruder is more dangerous?

      Hmm…if only there was a better tool for neutralizing intruders from several meters away…

      • Maybe a short bangy thing? I assume he said long stabby thing because he is afraid it too may be illegal

  4. Or you can resort to the tried but true “Sticks and Stones” (No double entendre intended) style of self defense that served mankind for centuries.

    • Nah, they don’t need to worry about sticks and stones or any other objects for self-defense because all of the news announcers look fabulous. Haven’t you figured it out yet? As long as we are fabulous, nothing else matters.

  5. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. “My husband is my long stabby thing.” Hahahahah. Or don’t get close to the bad guy, “whack him off from a distance.” Mwahahahahah!

    Way to go Aussies. You’ve all lost your minds (and your guns), but you’ve kept your double entendres and sense of humor.

  6. Personally, I wouldn’t trust them with firearms as far as I could throw them. BTW, either those two women are very good at keeping a straight face, or they are hopelessly naive.

  7. It’s interesting how they were all a little embarrassed to admit on camera that they’d all given at least some thought to what they’d need to do if/when The Really Bad Thing actually happened to them. If you watch the video a couple of times you’ll notice that underneath the gloss they’re all struggling to hide some some serious concerns. It’s almost a cheap-shot to point and laugh at people like this. The fact is they represent an entire demographic of people who’ve never really encountered any adversity in their lives. When the need arises, if they ever face personal danger, let’s hope they can find the courage they’ll need. The difference between them and the Kurds facing ISIS is vast.

    • And when the Islamic fundamentalists who are emigrating to Australia take over and enforce sharia law, it will no longer be possible for these liberal women to appear on the news or in pubic dressed as they are. When the Aussies and the Brits and the Europeans decide they do not want to be ruled by sharia law within the new Caliphate, it will be too late. And don’t call on America to come save you, folks.

  8. These are grown-ass people. That’s the part I can’t wrap my brain around. Relying on someone else to protect you is for children. I’d be absolutely embarrassed if I were an Aussie. This is just ridiculous.

  9. They have been reduced to spineless fools and they don’t even realize it. How friggin sad.

    • From who? After 20+ hours on planes or several days on boats any invading force is going to arrive less inclined to fight than have some BBQ and Fosters. Though I hear Aussies don’t really like Fosters.

  10. You know what is even worse than this. What most of the presenters have said like baseball bats in cupboards, a golf club on every floor and a long stabby thing to “defend yourself”…. Well they’re illegal to have too to “defend yourself” in every state and territory of Australia. Any item whether a correctly stored firearm, cricket bat, maglite torch or even a bedside lamp that is there for ‘self defence’ is illegal under various state legislation. All good to have in your cricket bag to go play on the weekend though but ‘self defence’ is a big no no! Oh and this clip is nearly 4 years old btw.

  11. Its all fun and games until it is shabby thing versus a bad guy with a gun. I rather have my Mossberg to whack them off from a distance. The insanity is they believe someone is going to break unarmed. They are all brave and funny until a person or persons break in. It amazes me that they understand the need to defend themselves but believe a golf club or baseball bat will be enough, good luck with that.

  12. I’ve got a mean look and harsh words for anyone who would break into my house. And if that’s not enough there’s always personal defecation.

  13. I don’t have a long stabbie thing. I have short, stubby things. But there are a lot of them and they move really, really fast.

  14. I hate to click on these videos but this one had my wife laughing. Yeah what a pathetic bunch…

  15. If you agree with the premise that, among many other social and personal positives, a major benefit of marriage is that it serves to protect women and civilize men, then it’s clear the institution is out of balance in Australia.

    If the men are useless and women are reduced to protecting themselves with bats, then they may as well go all in and employ a battery operated long stabby thing and cut out the middle man.

    • Unintended? They were about as unintended as they were subtle.

      Long stabby things haven’t been the state-of-the-art in personal or home defense for at least 400 years.

  16. I have never met a woman in my life that could kick my ass even if I spotted her a bat. And those 2 men are as weak as can be. Do you really think a hardened criminal is terrified of these weak men and their golf clubs and spears?

    Guns are the only answer for defense.

    • You know, I keep asking that to all the wishy-washy gun owners that don’t want guns around their kids or aren’t concerned about their wives being armed.

      I don’t know a woman or 87.6% of men alive that can fight a big man . What happens when I kick down the door full of rage, meth, and blood lust and illegally(or legally) armed? What’s the plan for your family?

      Guess the herd gets thinned by the predators.

      • “What happens when I kick down the door full of rage, meth, and blood lust and illegally(or legally) armed? What’s the plan for your family?”

        RugerSR1911 with a 10-rnd magazine loaded with 230gr. Hornady hollowpoints. Apply liberally.

  17. It saddens me, actually. The Aussies are a proud people and much like us Americans in many ways, having had their frontier period. Unfortunately they’ve been taken over by the same types that are trying to ruin our country.

  18. That was funny as hell. And sad as hell. Wonder if these twits know that having a “long stabbing thing” in their possession with the intent to do bodily harm to another is a CRIME in Australia? Perhaps someone should inform them of that.

  19. I laughed, then teared-up a bit. Now “Shrek” points out it is actually illegal to defend yourself in Australia with any sort of object or device, apparently. That abruptly ended the humor or sorrow for me because that is pathetic. Now I just feel disdain and disgust. What sort of people allow their Government to dictate that they MUST submit to being willing victims for criminal predation?

    Of course, there are many here in the U.S. that want precisely that for us…there are no words…

  20. Wait wait wait….
    Civilian disarmament aside, I have a more pressing question no one seems to be asking. What the hell is wrong with your front door that you have woken up several different nights and found it STANDING OPEN!?
    Layers of defense people.
    What should you have to protect you at night? A LOCKED FRONT DOOR! Then other stuff too. But firstly, get your door fixed. Are locks illegal in Australia or something?

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