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All’s well that ends well. That seems to be the conclusion of unarmed bicyclist Michael Bowman, the man knocked off his bike and punched in the head by “youths” on Baltimore’s Guilford Avenue. In fact, at the end of the news report above, Mr. Bowman impishly suggests that his attackers should come and join him on the road. Singing Kumbaya in five-part harmony as they pedal, no doubt. The fact that Mr. Bowman could have been killed by the fall from his bike or the repeated blows to his head doesn’t seem to have penetrated the mantle of obliviousness enveloping the bits under his bike helmet. In fact, one wonders what Bowman means when he says . . .

that he’s going to “be more careful” in the future. Perhaps he should follow the rabbi’s dictum and forgo his route altogether, avoiding stupid people in stupid places doing stupid things. That counts as “being careful.” Also on that list: carry a gun. You know: something small and useful in, say, 9mm. For those situations where a group of people pose an imminent threat of death or grievous bodily harm, and imminence is imminent.

Reader suggestions for bicycle carry welcome. Meanwhile, while I would never counsel shooting someone when you can simply pedal away from the threat, if you can’t, well whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Do you expect the police to save you? No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die. Or not. [h/t STB]

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    • Indeed he does. It’s characterized by being white, weak and effeminate in manner. On the streets it’s called looking like prey.

      • Along with white people that can’t jump; a lot can’t fight.

        It really does seem like the young white males that I’ve seen over the last decade are weak, soft and more effeminate looking than I remember from when I was in my twenties and thirties. (I’m in my fifties now.)

        The first time I heard the word metrosexual, I had to ask what it meant.

        “Thank G-d I’m still a guy” I laughed when I first heard this Brad Paisley song; Good social commentary. Maybe I should put this on a bumper sticker.

  1. “Perhaps he should follow the rabbi’s dictum and forgo his route altogether”

    Well, some rabbis say that Jews should never be disarmed because when they are they are attacked and persecuted. If Moses had an AR-10 would he have needed the 10 plagues?

    Can’t wait to hear suggestions for bicycle carry.

    • I used to ride around Irving/Dallas with a Smith snubbie in a handlebar bag. A thin, small gun in a small Smartcarry style holster, can be fairly well concealed even when wearing bicycle shorts. It’s just not too comfortable.

      • Well, then I’m CERTAIN this velocipeding dandy will get a permit, as he can demonstrate justifiable need.

        • For the most part here in MD one violent incident does not necessarily consitute need. I used to commute via bike when I worked night shift, and stopped because a few cyclists were mugged along my route. If I did carry anything legal it was useless. The consequences of having to use something effective but illegal weren’t worth the trouble of simply driving to work.

        • Should have used the sarc tag. In slave states the only way to get a CHP is being rich or connected — in otehr words, being able to afford your own bodyguards.

          FWIW, I used to be an exclusive bicycle commuter until two assholes pulled up beside me in a car and yanked me off my bike. Wrecked my Panasonic and my knee. Wish I had been armed then.

  2. Hell for a biker pepper spray would do the trick, it gives you enough time to get back on the bike and get the hell out of there, especially since his chance of getting a carry permit is 0.

    • Uphill climb. Pepper spray gives you enough time to either go uphill real slow or downhill perhaps back towards the attackers. I do not count on a quick getaway. no carry permit in MD, stun guns are illegal, so maybe a baton and a knife or something like that.

      • Are knives and clubs even legal in MD? It strikes me (hah) as a place thats been steadily working its way down the self defense checklist. Its places like that that gave us the tactical pen.

        • There are restrictions on dangerous weapons, but so long as its under a certain size and whatnot, you’re good. Technically, I probably could holster an 1861 black powder revolver if I really wanted to. Who wants to ride a bike with a hand grenade strapped to them tho?

    • The Romans used swords and spears at Calvary – the Jews were disarmed.

      On the other hand, carrying, much less wielding, a cavalry saber while trying to pedal a bicycle would likely be a challenge, but you might make your getaway while the BGs were rolling on the ground laughing.

  3. I just picked up a Pistol Wear body band for easy cross draw when I’m out on the dirt bike. This dude should get one. He should probably get a gun to put inside it, too.

    • Repeat after me: Not. In. Maryland. Repeat it three times and click your heels, and you will be back in Kansas. Maryland is not part of America, yet.

      • Oh, yeah. Well, he could still get the holster. Just can’t put a gun in it.
        I got nuthin.

    • Best choice for this guy in Maryland – a Medic Alert “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” device on a necklace. Won’t prevent the beat-down, but at least medical help will be on the way.

      But I believe the rabbi’s advice pretty much includes all of Maryland, doesn’t it?

      • Yeah, Guilford at night is not the vest place in the world to be. But then so is most of Baltimore.

  4. “Mr. Bowman impishly suggests that his attackers should come and join him on the road”- Is this guy mad? Inviting the people who mob beat you to hang out? to what? mob beat you again? This sort of submissive attitude, especially by men, is all too common these days. This guy aught to hit the gym, learn to fight, start carrying, or all three. Life is about fighting for survival. That’s evolution. The weak die off and the strong live on.

    • There are entire segments of society so suffering from the liberal guilt taught to them in state run educational institutions that their very will to survive has been seriously compromised.

      It’s almost as if he feels that if only he was even nicer, or if there was some additional after school program his tax dollars could pay for, those poor punks would not have been forced to do something like this.

      Meanwhile, each morning he will don his Lycra in sporty colors and dutifully pedal himself to his place of employment so that the wealth redistribution machinery which allows layabouts to relax all day and get into mischief can keep running off of his labors. ‘Merica!

    • I believe this falls under the Liberal “Moral equivalency” penumbra: the Bad Guys have just as much right to do what they do to survive as anyone else and so should not be punished for their efforts, however much we disagree with them. They have an equal right to their opinions and life-choices and it is not for us to judge them.

      Unless, of course, they like guns. That’s EVIL!

    • This is a perfect example of THIS generation’s “enlightened” voters. The ones that brought us “instant criminals.” The sad part is that they’re spawning as we speak.

    • On another site featuring this story, I said that would be akin to a Jewish inmate at Auschwitz inviting Hitler to dine on gefilte fish, bagels and Mogen David wine.

  5. How to do bike carry in Baltimore? Easy. Go to the academy and get a badge. Otherwise, you’re shit out of luck.

    Or of course, there is the fun Mr. Yeager’s suggestion of learning the difference between being “allowed” to do something and being “able” to do something. YMMV.

    On practical application, the venerable fanny pack for those who incorporate a lot of Lycra into their biking attire.

    I have heard some suggest a little pack with Velcro closure attached facing you on the handlebars but I wouldn’t like that. Similar to a tank bag on a motorcycle.

    If you wear a jacket, or leathers, ye ole shoulder holster can be useful, until you need to take your jacket off.

    If wearing regular clothes, carry in a regular way. ;-P

    • How to do bike carry in Baltimore? Easy. Go to the academy and get a badge. Otherwise, you’re shit out of luck.


  6. I bicycle carry all the time. Same rig I use for walkin around. It’s perfectly secure for road-riding since there’s even less up-and-down than walking.

  7. Belly bands are great for outdoors activities with lots of movement (biking, hiking, running, etc.)

    Very secure and as fast to draw as any IWB holster.

    Fanny packs are dumb. They weren’t cool back when they were supposed to be cool.

    • Yeah but. What if my fanny pack is in cool neon colors instead of tactical black?

      Can there be style points awarded?

  8. Just got a Kangaroo Carry holster. Silly name but practical, with belly band design coupled with a shoulder strap for support. Small optional retention strap as well. So far I like it.

  9. Anyone want to bet that he didn’t throw one punch back and that his reaction was more along the lines of “Hey, guys what’s going on!?” “Why are you hitting me?!”

  10. All other things considered, this guy (I intentionally do not use the term “man”) and the many others biking this same neighborhood, are purely lucky these punks have not learned the “pipe into the spokes” trick. In that case his only choice would be to run and leave the bike behind since it would not be rideable.

  11. In Maryland he has no legal choice but to be disarmed. Even armed that situation probably would have ended the same way. Situational awareness and good decisions on where you go is as important as having a gun.

  12. Pepper Blaster. Or 2. I understand he’s screwed in Maryland. From looking at this he seems a bit “touched in the head”.

  13. I watched this vid last night, and was struck by the fact that his attackers, all of whom from the blurry images appeared to be young teens, were laughing. The Knock Out Game is a fad, a sport, something fun to do, and if you kill one of these kids, the whole community will be up in your face, saying, “why’d you hurt these little boys? They were just having a little fun…”

    • I’m sure they would not be laughing after their buddy got ventilated. If some teenager wants to assault and possibly kill a complete stranger for a “game” it is their own fault if they wind up dead.

      I’d like to see them try and pull the little boy victim card when some petite chick kills one of them instead of some guy.

      • Yeah, but it’s in Bawldemore. The whole damned city would turn out for the funeral parade. And it would be on TV.

    • …which is why the local ABC affiliate is careful to call them “young people”, instead of mentioning the racial characteristics they all share. Now, if a bunch of white savages had knocked a black guy off his bike…

  14. It’s always investigated as a hate crime if something is done to a black person but it can’t even be mentioned when the victim is white. This guy is a bitch btw.

  15. Didn’t special forces in ww2 have a single shot suppressed gun disguised as a bycicle pump? I have a dim memory of seein one in a Danish museum of the resistance from a visit back in 1967 I don’t recall tha caliber and suppressed part might be just a young mans imagination popping in to an old mans memories

  16. A REAL genius would wear a gun while riding a bicycle 🙂 I guess some people have the guts to walk outside without their gun *WEIRD*

  17. I had to buy a 9mm Taurus PT-111 Pro for bicycling. The .45 ACP Model 1911-A1 was at risk of sweat-pitting and the Springfield XD-45 was dragging down my lycra shorts & putting me at risk of indecency charges. Extra mags for the 9mm are in the back pockets of my jersey and another one stuck inside the lycra shorts on the outside of my left leg (for fast reloading). A lot of cyclists in the South are carrying concealed to protect themselves from thugs, road-ragers, vicious dogs, etc.

  18. At the end of the interview he muttered
    “mama always said life is like a box of chocolates”. Run, Forest, run

    • Yeah, here in Maryland “It’s in little brown lumps.” Thanks, O’Malley. Don’t let the door hit ya…

  19. I’m an avid long-distance cyclist who has never found a good solution for carrying on the bike. I carry my weapon in a small day-planner-looking holster that I keep in my Camelback. However, I’m not sure it would even help in this situation since it would take me a few seconds to get it out.

    I appreciate the ideas offered so far and hope they keep coming. I really appreciate it!

    • In years past I depended primarily on a bicycle for everyday transportation, as well as fun. It was kind of a statement on a life of voluntary simplicity I was practicing at the time. No license, no taxes, no insurance, no money to the oil companies. Combine that with an apartment (no lease, nothing in writing) with all utilities included in the rent, which I paid in cash, no phone, and I was about as off the grid as you can be in a big city. Did I mention, I was self employed (guitar tech) and always paid in cash?

      To get back to the subject – there is NO comfortable way to carry on body if you actually spend a lot time in the saddle. A lot of things will work for a half hour around the bike path. By the end of a day of commuting, shopping, and anything else that comes up, any of the on-body methods suggested above is going to be too hot and abrasive to sustain on a regular basis. A handlebar bag with some stiffeners to help it stay open is the best thing I’ve found.

      Better still is keep an eye (and ear) open for what you’re about to ride into. By the time you get your feet out of the toe clips so you can stay upright, you’re already going to be in trouble.

    • (and FWIW, I always rode/walked/drove with a Benchmade at the ready. Thankfully that and a heaping helping of rare and wonderful common sense were enough for 12 or so relatively trouble-free years all over that city, save for one particular DGU… but that was at home… where it was “allowed” to be.)

  20. Pepper spray probably isn’t bad in general, as a backup, but relying on it against multiple attackers from all directions isn’t feasible.

    In MD, I’d go with a legal length knife and a small non-club club. Something specifically designed as a club is probably illegal to carry on body. It is in Texas. The workaround is to carry something that is something else, but which could be used as a weapon. Maybe a heavy duty, aluminum bike tire pump, the kind that attaches to the frame? Maybe the bike lock/chain, the kind with the plastic sleeve around it?

    • These days, frame pumps are about as sturdy as a plastic straw. A heavy lock on a heavy chain is a fearsome weapon, but it cannot be deployed in time.

      Carry a gun or a BFK (not a folder). Whatever you carry has to be available rightnow.

  21. Our hero is not ready to carry/use a gun/weapon. He lacks the mental awareness and mindset required.
    As to bicycle carry: I am experimenting. I like the tight undershirt style “shoulder holster” type. Very supportive. Hardly knew it was there. OWB would seem to work. Also the cargo pocket of shorts/pants.

  22. OK. I love the saber idea so let’s go with the cavalry theme. Big ass revolver with a neck lanyard. Carbine in a saddle holster. Would a coach gun be too much?

  23. I’m a road cyclist who puts ~8-12,000mi on his bike a year. I carry a Kimber pepper blaster with me every ride in my right side jersey pocket. Nice and light, enough to buy time to get out of a bad situation.

    You’re much more likely to have to fend off dogs than morons like this though, but they would have gotten two 90mph blasts to the face if this was me.

    I’ve thought of carrying on my bike, but sweat is a problem. Actually today out on a ride I was thinking of how to design a conceal carry frame mounted holster for those of us with carry permits.

  24. I mounted a retention holster to the stem of my bike. I would like to go into details of how I did it, but hate to give away the idea.

  25. It’s kinda like the young thugs in KC, the only way to deal with these people is too fight back with greater force.

  26. “Mr. Bowman impishly suggests that his attackers should come and join him on the road. Singing Kumbaya in five-part harmony as they pedal, no doubt. ”

    Kumbaya is likely one of the names of the humanoids that attacked the girly man…

  27. Being that this took place in Baltimore, the chances of anyone being lawfully armed is minimal, as opposed to the chances of someone being criminally armed, which is probable.

  28. One of the major concerns with carry while bicycling seems to be corrosion from sweat. I don’t bicycle but I’d have thought the major concerns would be comfort and weight.
    While I have pistols that I’d not want to ‘ugly up’ with pitting, I also have those about who’s appearance I care so little that it’s not even a consideration. I’d suggest something inexpensive in polymer and stainless or else some sort of HE finish. With even the barest minimum of maintenance it’s virtually impossible to stop the functioning of a modern pistol by sweating on it.
    Something in the size/weight class of a .380 Bodyguard is so infinitely concealable and so light that being without a pistol has to be a choice, not a necessity while bicycling. Then again, I’m highly tolerant of discomfort due to concealed carry, I suppose not everyone feels the same way.

    • Agreed to an extent. It also means additional expense if you don’t have something small/lightweight, potentially new caliber to purchase, range time for practice, etc… all good things, but not everyone can afford it. Cycling is another expensive sport/passtime/means of travel.

      You’re spot on for the issues though, as weight and comfort are a major consideration. It really depends on the type of cycling you do. If it’s a 2 mi ride to work, or for groceries, or just for fun, it’s not as much of an issue. If it’s an 80 mi ride up through mountain passes at altitude, or daily 30+ mi rides, it’s a huge issue, and probably more where the sweat issue comes into play. In the case of this article, if I commuted to work via bike, I absolutely would have a carry solution in place.

  29. I carry an LCP in an ankle holster while on my BMX. Riding away is usually the best option, however I had a friend hit before, and before he knew what was up four guys got out and kicked the crap out of him. They stole his bike, wallet, cell phone, and shoes. Craziness happens in the world. I’ve had most of my run ins with trouble while riding. *ssholes love picking on cyclists.

  30. Whenever I read a story like this I always think about what I can learn from it (beside of coarse, vowing never to move to a “may issue” state). Generally, we can learn that each of us needs to be active in fighting against any laws that decrease the ability to keep ourselves safe. Specifically, as I am a cyclist who rides 1500- 2000 miles a year as my favorite form of cardiovascular exercise it reinforces my decision to always carry my Emerson CQC7 and to regularly practice deploying it out of my cycling clothes. It also makes me think about if I should find a gun and discret holster that would work for me when biking. Anyone who knows me considers me to be very masculine. At just over 6’1″ and a somewhat muscular 210 lbs, I don’t look like an easy target. Yes, I do wear lycra. I am thinking of a Ruger 380 with a Sneaky Pete or remora holster might be very unnoticable since the back pockets of my biking jersey contain my wallet, phone, streamlight, some food, ( & sometimes a rain jacket or suncreen). My knife is always inside my biking shorts just behind my left hip and covered by my jersey. Just need to work out the best way to keep a gun close to my EDC position (just behind right hip), keep it secure, and discreet).

  31. I’m all for self-defense, even with guns, but I don’t think a gun is the answer for this situation. Pack mentality can turn stupid kids with something to prove into murderers QUICKLY, especially if one of their buddies has just been shot. If he did shoot one of these kids, there’s a decent chance he would have been killed. Is that really a better outcome than some nerd getting a slight beating?

    I do realize it could haven’t gotten a lot worse, shit ain’t right; but I don’t know if there’s a black and white good answer to what should have been done in this situation.

    Perhaps a better scenario would have been a passerby to cap one of these little bastards and keep movin on in their car as Mr. Skinny Jeans made his getaway.

    • Boy, do I ever disagree with that. I hear just about every day about someone presenting or firing and all miscreants disappearing so fast the shooter didn’t even know if he hit anyone, but I have NEVER heard of a bunch of kids suddenly becoming Rambo because one of them had been shot, and so volunteering to be the next one shot. I think you’re dreaming, and I would shoot as many as I could when in a target rich environment.

    • Perhaps a better scenario would have been a passerby to cap one of these little bastards and keep movin’ on in their car…

      Happens all the time in the city. Nothing to see here – keep moving.

  32. So I was attacked by a dog one day a couple years ago while out on a training ride. Nothing serious, just a minor bite to my lower leg as I was GTFO-ing. A few days later I picked up a very small .22lr pistol (a lot of recoil on two wheels seems like not a great idea to me) in case any other animals want to get frisky while I’m riding. However, carrying the gun was the conundrum. (You tend to sweat a lot on multi hour road bike rides in the desert and getting your piece all sweaty is not so awesome.) So that means somehow putting the gun on my bike where it is easily accessible, very secure, and won’t harm a couple grand worth of carbon fiber bike. For my bike (a Cannondale Super Six for those who care) and gun (which is a Taurus; don’t know the model) I found that one of Galco’s ankle holsters works very well wrapped around the head tube (the part of the frame below the handle bars) and its cushion-y enough to protect the bike.
    I guess I could send in a picture if you guys are interested.

  33. I carry my Beretta Nano in a SneakyPete ballistic nylon holster while riding. My cycling shorts have a nylon belt which helps. What’s goofy is that in Kansas we have cycling patrols on the public park trails, they offer help to pedestrians and cyclists. They are uniformed employees of the Sheriff’s Dept and can’t carry guns, open or concealed.

  34. I ride to work almost every day, during which I carry, in a right-hip holster, a Kimber SIS, a SIG P229 in .357, or a SIG P227.

    Treat bikers with respect, please, even those who legally take the whole right lane. It gets very scary out there. We’re just trying to get home safely too.

    If you ever pass a biker by getting into the left lane, give 60 feet. You have no idea how much the biker appreciates this. He might not salute you, but that’s because the road is too rocky for one hand.

    And never tailgate a biker. I’m pedaling hard, mostly so you don’t get mad, even though I know it’s my right, but there are numerous obstacles: bumps in the road, potholes, construction dust, and wind that can derail me.

    The wind is the worst. I swear, it’s never at my back.

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