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Boulder Colorado is one of America’s best cities. Disclaimer: this writer is moving there. Well, I was, before I learned that zombies lurk inside Colorado University’s engineering building. And I am again, now that I know that it was all a dream and Bobby was in the shower all that time (Jesus, think of the hot water bills). No wait. Sorry. Now that I know that it’s just a game player by “Nerds for Nerf,” a protest group formed to defeat the University’s ban on guns both real and simulated. See what I did there? There is no such group. But there is such a ban and zombie game, and the campus cops did give them a pass. “This was the second zombie invasion in a month at the University of Colorado, following a weeklong game earlier this month that hosted more than 200 players,” the school paper reports. “But Saturday night’s event was no ordinary game. . .”

The university allowed players to use Nerf guns for the first time since December, when officials enforced a campus policy and banned the use of simulated weapons during play. . . {They] issued the students a temporary weapons waiver for the weekend session because it was played in a “controlled and secure” building, where bystanders were clearly informed about the game and the purpose of the weapons, according to police spokeswoman Molly Bosley.

If a Nerf gun defeats a zombie, just imagine what a Benelli SuperNova would do. Not really. Don’t imagine that. It’s a joke.

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