Black Arch Holster Weekend Photo Caption Contest

Women Testing New Machine Guns at the Aberdeen Proving Ground, 1942 (2)_1

Last week’s winner was NYC2AZ. He’ll soon be packing his favorite handgun in a new Black Arch holster. If you want on, enter a caption for this photo in the comments before Sunday midnight and you too could be carrying in comfort.



  1. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    When ma grew up, she decided to get into lead farming.

  2. avatar Slimjim9 says:

    No I *don’t* need to file a Form 1. It doesn’t even have a shoulder stock!

  3. Mama what is that for?
    Chicken hawks my dear, chicken hawks…

  4. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    Tula hoop

  5. avatar dh34 says:

    And once you push this lever ma’am, the pounds are literally shaken off…

  6. avatar Rusty Chains says:


  7. avatar AlanInFL: says:

    It is a great way to loose the weight around the hips.

    1. Maude has had it with the crows!

  8. avatar Supermike says:

    Who says size doesn’t matter?

  9. avatar Mark N. says:

    Ma goes for a world record, attempting to hit a dozen pigeons with one pull.

  10. avatar alex says:

    Outside the waistband holster you say?

  11. avatar jwm says:

    An AR15 is a substitute for a small penis? Say hello to my little friend.

  12. avatar Jasonius says:

    No, she’s not. If anything, the britches are big for her.

  13. avatar Rikoshay says:

    What did the Muslin say when he walked into the gay bar? “shots for everyone”

      1. avatar DaveW says:

        I think that is one of the major problems with the USA these days. The humor is gone due to PC. Now comedians have to fill in the empty space with the foulest language they can come up with. A great many of the funniest religious jokes I learned came from ministers and their kids I grew up with. Same with ethnic jokes. It’s like the PC police of Orwell’s 1984, or the dress code of Chairman Mao where everyone wears grey and chants the same phrases (or Nazi Germany’s ‘Seig Heil’) or someone will turn you in to the state for not speaking PC Speak.

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      boohoo. Un-PC makes for the funniest jokes. Gore a libtard totem and mooooslems even more betterer.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Mexican, black guy and white guy were comparing condom wallets.

        Mexican had slots for 6 condoms. They were labeled Mon. Tues. Wed. Thur. Friday and Sat.

        Black guy had slots for 8 condoms. Mon. Tues. Wed. Thur. Fri. Sat. and 2 for Sunday.

        White guy had 12 slots in his. They were labeled. Jan. Feb. March. April…………

        1. avatar Rikoshay says:

          Whats in your wallet?

        2. avatar jwm says:

          Money and plastic and a hunting license. Happily married man that don’t need condoms.

    2. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “What did the Muslin say when he walked into the gay bar? “shots for everyone””

      The bar patrons said: “Thank you, but the first round is on *us*…”

  14. avatar jwm says:

    Go ahead. Call her a hose beast. I’ll be waiting behind the Sherman for you.

  15. avatar Kelly Frew says:

    They called it Big Bertha. They called the othe one locked and loaded.

  16. avatar jwm says:

    Next up on Demolition Ranch. .50 caliber Friday.

  17. avatar Mikesees says:

    Trigger pull weight?

  18. avatar jwm says:

    Can it be an mg if it’s lever actioned?

  19. avatar jwm says:

    Off topic. But during ww2, which this pic is from, the Germans had women manning anti aircraft batteries.

    1. avatar Cliff H says:

      As did the Russians, and at least on the home front, so did the U.S.

  20. avatar Larry says:

    I told you not to fly commercial!

  21. avatar Hippi says:

    Sons of guns spinoff mother of guns

  22. avatar neiowa says:

    “Cross this water mr/mrs alien”

  23. avatar Brian says:

    Hillary finds a new way to convince Bernie supporters to vote for her

  24. avatar 16V says:

    “Ok, so the belt’s around my waist. Marhtha! How do I get it to start shaking like I saw on the Jack LaLanne show?”

  25. avatar Geoff PR says:

    How the term ‘Size Queen’ came into being…

  26. avatar Frank says:

    Look no bruises.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Word. No PTSD either.

  27. avatar Paul53 says:

    Fork over the Black Hawk Holster or I let the politicians loose!

    1. avatar Cliff H says:

      I don’t think Black Arch makes a holster for that model (the gun, not the shooter).

    2. avatar Paul53 says:

      Fork over the Black Arch holster or I release the politicians. One more person corrects me and they get it!

  28. avatar pieslapper says:

    First attempt at a plasma rifle in the 40 watt range.

  29. avatar Chris T from KY says:

    Phyliss Schlafly the Eagle Forum president performing one of her war time duties, testing machine guns.
    She can still rock a man’s world!!

  30. avatar Mercutio says:

    Go ahead. Fly that damn drone over my swimming pool again.

  31. avatar Badgerman says:

    You have to be at least this tall for this ride.

  32. avatar E.D. Sartin says:

    Ma ” Never knew heating the bathwater could be this much fun”

  33. avatar peirsonb says:

    No, really, I saw them online…if you plant these they turn into lead roses.

  34. avatar Chip in Florida says:

    Martha finally found a way to get those pesky squirrels to leave the bird feeder alone. And the best part is she doesn’t have to leave the porch anymore.

  35. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “watch this- i told her she could use it to paint the barracks…”

  36. avatar William Fessenden says:

    Let’s see those fellas refuse to go to the USO dance with me now!!

  37. avatar Bob from Chicago says:

    This is better than the washing machine.

  38. avatar jwm says:

    You guys think you grew up in a bad neighberhood? Meet the lunch lady from my grade school.

  39. avatar Ray Antaya says:

    Frank- you know I like a womam that can handle a big gun.
    Walter- especially one that shoots quick…insert rim shot here!

  40. avatar jwm says:

    Forget putting them back in the kitchen after this.

  41. Hey Kuntzman! Eat a Snickers bar!

    1. avatar Cliff H says:

      Gets my vote – WINNER!

  42. avatar rammerjammer says:

    Sir, there’s no way I’m asking which one is called Bertha.

  43. avatar Blacque Jacque Shellacque says:

    The precursor to the 1950’s “vibrating belt weight loss machine” was this 1940’s “vibrating belt-fed weight loss machine.”

  44. avatar tmm says:

    Best dance partner ever.

  45. avatar John L. says:

    Betsie had tried scarecrows, tinsel, bells and harsh language. Nothing kept the crows out of the cornfield for long … until now.

    1. avatar Kroglikepie says:

      Damn, you stole my idea…

  46. avatar Licentious Crassus says:

    All the real men stood back as Bertha, the Army’s newest trans-gender maiden, began to demonstrate her finally perfected, static emplacement, water-cooled, fully automatic strap-on to the general fear and amazement of the gathered on lookers……….For her gallantry, the joint chiefs awarded her the newly authorized “order of the rainbow,” and said that her demonstration lived up to the best traditions of America’s new armed forces.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      The Rainbow Division. 42nd Infantry.

  47. avatar peirsonb says:

    Ok boys, NOW let’s measure.

  48. avatar Will says:

    I heard this gizmo is great for a back massage…

  49. avatar Will says:

    You say this will jiggle my jiblets ehh boys?

  50. avatar Marach says:

    Girl Power!

  51. avatar Tom Worthington says:

    I was told to come out here and water the grass. This is the right gizmo is it not?

  52. avatar SteveX says:

    It looks like that thing had a folding stock that would make it easily concealable. It must be banned immediately!

  53. avatar Paul53 says:

    When I say pull, you throw my smart phone as high as you can!

  54. avatar LHW says:

    Get off my lawn.

  55. avatar Penetty says:

    Wrong way Ethel. Any enemy aircraft would be coming from the west.
    Forget that! I’m aiming for Germany. I’m going to shoot that paper hanging son of a bitch!

  56. avatar Luke Yarasheski says:

    “Let’s see the journalists and talk show hosts make fun of MY penis…”

  57. avatar Luke Yarasheski says:

    Civilians should not have access to weapons of war like this. I propose common sense legislation to ban all weapons that fire rounds larger than 15mm. Its for the children!

  58. avatar chainsawferret says:

    Ok. Lets see that rabbit try to raid my garden THIS time…

  59. avatar RatInDaHat says:

    My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

  60. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    An early version of the vibrating weight loss machine.

  61. avatar Kerry says:

    It aint over till the fat lady ping ping ping ping pings!

  62. avatar Pistole says:

    You got a holster for this? I prefer appendix carry.

  63. avatar jwm says:

    Restraining order? I don’t need no steenkin’ restraining order.

  64. avatar Robert says:

    No. Seriously. Stay Off The Petunias

  65. avatar jwm says:

    Eyes and ears!

  66. avatar Josh in TN says:

    Mary the Machine Gunner didn’t make it on any WWII propaganda… America had a different use for her.

  67. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    I BUILT this thing, boys; I candamned well use it!

  68. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    I BUILT this thing, boys; I can damned well use it!

  69. avatar AaronW says:

    “Come Hell or High Water, I’m gonna man this machine gun!”

  70. avatar Taccie O'Gearface says:

    “and then I told ’em, SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!!!!!!”

  71. avatar SteveInCO says:

    Maybe NOW the neighbors will turn the damn stereo down.

  72. avatar Mad Max says:

    Is there a flash-bang for this?

  73. avatar pieslapper says:

    They told Pelosi this was better than plastic surgery.

  74. avatar Getfreight says:


  75. avatar Steve Kreitler says:

    I show that crop duster what happens when you dust the wrong fields!

  76. avatar Socrates says:

    Compensate this!

  77. avatar gemalo says:

    Kate Smith finally gets a turn at a big one.

  78. avatar Socrates says:

    So you say you have a gun? Take a look at my water cooled, fire spitting, tripod mounted, belt fed baby.!

  79. avatar Socrates says:

    To be the man you’ve got to beat the mam!

  80. avatar Acworthless says:

    This wasn’t exactly the kind of strap-on she had in mind…

  81. avatar G-mo says:

    Yeah, I can see Russia from my backyard too!!!

  82. avatar ed says:

    When the flying saucers started to come around, I just ignored them. But when the cow stopped giving milk, I decided to do something about it.

  83. avatar Photoguy says:

    Your mama is so easy the soldiers call her “crew served”

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Is that what’s known as “Pulling a belt” ?

      1. avatar Photoguy says:

        I don’t know about that, but she say she is always “training “, whatever that means

  84. avatar jwm says:

    That’s a funny looking broach on Maud”s coveralls.

  85. avatar jwm says:

    It’s a fifty round belt. What you gotta ask yourself, punk, is did I fire 49 rounds or fifty? But being as how this is a water cooled .50 bmg, the most powerful handgun in the world and it will blow your head clean off…….

  86. avatar Lib lurker says:

    Little known fact that the vibrator was one of the very first home appliances

    The off grid version took considerable development to get the cyclic rate optimized

  87. avatar Prudikal says:

    not a caption but a question. Can I have one?

  88. avatar Derrickman says:

    Say hello to my big assed friend.

  89. avatar jwm says:

    Budda, budda, budda, pew, pew, pew. And that’s how I won the battle of bunker hill.

  90. avatar Nick M says:

    This telescope looks awesome.
    Now, where is the slot for the dime?

  91. avatar iowaclass says:

    And I thought the Hitachi was good…

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