Again With the Small Penis Thing

Progressive radio host Thom Hartmann starts this segment by citing a couple of anti-gun studies. They sound authentic (even though they’re not) until . . .”Good guys stop shootings by armed civilians in the last thirty years? Zero.” Wait. WHAT? Tom then “debates” Former Navy SEAL Carl Higbie by deploying reductio ad absurdum, mischaracterizing Australia’s gun laws as non-restrictive and blasting his “guest” with the usual deluded bullying condescension, railing against the “epidemic of mass killings with high-powered weapons.” And then . . .

“The Second Amendment doesn’t give you an individual right to own a gun either.” HUH? Thom finishes his one-sided diatribe by telling a Navy SEAL the reason he (and other gun owners) have a firearm: they have a small penis. Yup that’s what passes for anti-gun agitprop amongst full-on gun rights detractors. It’s not funny, smart, relevant or [you gotta think] statistically accurate. Good thing the Second Amendment protects the first, right?


  1. avatar Ryan says:

    It’s the 6th grade mentality. You disagree with someone and have no valid argument? No problem, just insult their body and try to shame them into agreeing with you.

    1. avatar Mikial says:

      Hatred and personal attacks are the hallmark of the Liberal mindset.

    2. avatar Mecha75 says:

      Lol. Ive turned that fallacious statement around by asking if they know this from personal experience. I then ask how large a sample size of the gun owning men have they slept with to make this “factual” determination. Considering that there are tens of millions of gun owners, the sample size would have to be in the thousands in order for your statement to have merrit.

      1. avatar Doug Knaus says:

        You are a gentleman. I asked her how many gun owners she’d f’d to discover this info. In the middle of a cocktail party, the F bomb makes things very quiet.
        She muddled something about “I NEVER HAVE.”
        “How ‘about now? Would now be a good time to f’k a gun owner?”

  2. avatar fishydude says:

    They say the same thing about people who drive pickup trucks. Funny how the “pro-choice” crowd is so insanely anti-choice when we refuse to make choices they approve of.

    1. avatar John L. says:

      That attitude right there encapsulates about 50% of why I’m so glad to not be living in California any more.

    2. avatar Wiregrass says:

      Until they have something they need to move.

    3. avatar Tommycat says:

      Pickup truck
      Fast car
      Big house
      Modified car

      The only people they think have big peni are apparently minivan drivers haha. Meh, I’m Japanese. I’ll just start filing law suits for promoting racial stereotypes when they say that to me

      1. avatar Wood says:

        Hey now, I’m driving the minivan for a couple days while schlepping the 4 chilluns (all under the age of 4) around. Wife gets to drive my pickup in the meantime:) does that mean I have to trade my big pecker back in when I get the truck back? I could get used to this thing…

      2. avatar Five says:

        You do realize that being Asian doesn’t make you a minority in the new liberal racial preference world. Being Asian actually makes you extra-super-uber white.

      3. avatar Ray says:

        I wonder what they’d have thunk about my ’71 Mustang Mach One, 351 Cleveland 4bbl, aftermarket 5 speed tranny, factory mags and kickass (for 1979) 200 watt sound system?

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          If it was 1979 there’s a very good chance your ‘200 Watt’ car audio was nowhere near 200 watts.

          Likeley maybe 20 watts per channel.

          Very few car amp companies back then used switching power supplies to get high enough voltage rails to deliver a true 200 watt output.

          (That never stopped companies claiming huge wattage ‘Peak Power’ on the box)

          HiFonics or maybe Fosgate if memory serves were among the very first…

        2. avatar 16V says:

          It might have been 200W, at 10% THD – rendering it totally unlistenable at more than 20-50W RMS.

      4. avatar Mecha75 says:

        Truth is we have those things because we cannot just whip it out in public to make them drool or jealous. So we are forced to strut like a peacock in other ways: cars, boats, and guns (oh my!)

    4. avatar Ray says:

      They say that about anyone who drives any vehicle not trendy with the metrosexual hipster manginas out there.

  3. avatar Carsickplatypus says:

    If that were the case, then wouldn’t the NRA be dominated by East Asians?

    1. avatar Alex Peters says:

      Sticking with stereotypes, all of sub-Saharan Africa would be a gun-free zone.

      1. avatar Cliff H says:

        Now THAT’S funny, right there.

        1. avatar Gringo Cracker says:

          LOL! Reminds me of Karl Childers’ joke about cold river water in “Slingblade.”

    2. avatar Alexander says:

      I’m of South East Asian descent.. that got me to chuckle at work. I approve this message.

  4. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    Again with the psychological projection – either of their own infatuations, or shortcomings, or perhaps both.

    1. avatar Roscoe says:

      Hartmann casting aspersions and railing because of his own repressed *feelings* of inadequacy and hate.

  5. avatar Pg2 says:

    The ‘modern’ man measures his self worth through his sexuality and ability to sexually pleasure woman, the penis thing is just an extension of this shibboleth.

  6. avatar Ken says:

    Does the idiot realize how many women have and love guns?

    1. avatar BDub says:

      Well, women do tend to have the smallest penises…just sayin’.

  7. avatar H says:

    The Right to a Small Penis.
    You don’t have right to inflict emotional, physical etc. because you don’t like your endowments.
    In fact it could be called, “Don’t be a Dick.”

    For those of you who just tuned in here is something I learned from an older woman when I was a teen. It’s how you use it. I repeat, it’s how you use it.

    Just like that other kinds of shooting, practice, consider what you’re doing, practice, consider others, practice.
    Just like concealed or open carriers, don’t let it tell you when to use it.
    You’ll get all the action you need if you’re thoughtful, considerate and caring.
    Don’t be SDD. Small Dick Driven. :):)

    1. avatar Gringo Cracker says:

      It’s not the size of the wand that matters, it’s the magician.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        “It’s not the size of the wand that matters, it’s how you wave it.”


  8. avatar John L. says:

    I am afraid of you because you own funds and may be unstable and may suddenly start shooting me and everyone else within a ten mile radius.

    Therefore I will insult and belittle you in a way I think it’s smartly and clever and in a way calculated to make you upset and angry.

    The cognitive disconnect is so big it blots out the sun. Hasn’t anyone ever pointed this out to these folks?

    1. avatar John L. says:

      Curse you automatic smell corrector!

    2. avatar Cliff H says:

      I notice he made no offer or effort, even if off-camera, to allow the SEAL to establish the actual size of his “gun”. Either way the argument is specious because even if (which I doubt) the SEAL was packing an average to lesser “gun”, they all have HUGE balls.

  9. avatar Shire-man says:

    I had no idea there were progressive radio hosts. Didn’t Air America implode catastrophically? I think that Holmes guy still has a show somewhere but I’ve never heard it when scanning through the stations at any time of day.

  10. avatar Jack Griffin says:

    Pfft, it’s pretty clear to me: they want our D.

    1. avatar Wiregrass says:

      Yes, they want them bad.

  11. avatar SelousX says:

    I think Thom Hartmann is projecting his own fears of inadequacy.

  12. avatar actionphysicalman says:

    That guy is one of the biggest pricks I have ever seen. It’s no wonder that he doesn’t need to compensate.

  13. avatar Mike Crognale says:

    I’m always amused when the antis start with the penis thing. They are the only ones who seem obsessed with it.

  14. avatar Tex300BLK says:

    And then they cry, stamp their feet and wring their hands when we won’t “compromise”.

  15. avatar MiniMe says:

    I stopped giving 2 s**ts about what these idjit “progressives” think about 3 years ago. But if they are so curious about my tackle and insecure about their own, i’ll be glad to prove them wrong any time they have the intestinal fortitude to tell that to my face. Got no problem dropping trou in front of someone with a ruler.

    1. avatar anaxis says:

      Careful…. I’m sure they’d love the opportunity to have you charged as a sex-offender, and yank two guns off the street for the price of one.

  16. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Who? Never heard of him. No doubt he is hanging around hoping the fairness doctrine will be revived by the FCC, that way he can try for syndication to the radio stations that carry the conservative talkers. Even if this were to happen the best he could hope for would be a time slot after 8 PM.

    The best response to the “small penis” thing: Dude, your wife sure didn’t think so, and by the way the damned small size condom she pulled out of your night stand drawer didn’t last, so you might want to pick up a pregnancy test kit for her on the way home tonight.

  17. avatar Mike says:

    The only ones that seem fascinated (or threatened) by small penises are these anti-rights clowns.

    Maybe it’s because they feel threatened due to their own sense of inadequacy.

    This is a silly position and the fact that they even continue to harp on it shows that, deep down, they know they don’t have a valid argument.

  18. avatar Pg2 says:

    Painful, couldn’t make it past 3 minute mark.

  19. avatar Strelok says:

    There was actually a discussion about this on a weapons board that I follow.

    Average worked out to something like 6.5 in. Which, interestingly enough, is about a half inch longer than “normal.”

    The suggestion was made that men with more testosterone (and therefore larger dicks) are more interested in guns.

    Anecdotal evidence, of course, but it still beats anything the antis have mustered.

    1. avatar actionphysicalman says:

      It is extremely weak and vaguely disturbing evidence.

  20. avatar Sian says:

    What is it about left-wing progressive statists that make them such penis-gazers?

    The only other group of people I’ve met who were so consistently concerned with the size of other mens’ penises were marching in SF’s Gay Pride parade.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “What is it about left-wing progressive statists that make them such penis-gazers?”

      They’ve never had a good one to enjoy…


  21. avatar miforest says:

    It’s not the guns they hate, it’s us. These are real diagnosable clinical narcissists. They have the god complex full throttle. When we refuse to go along with what they(god) say, We are then, by definition EVIL. That gives them license to say the most cruel, insulting derogatory thing they can think of to us.

  22. avatar jandrews says:

    What is it with them and the penises? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the pro gun crowd bring up genitalia when making their case.

  23. avatar Mini14 says:

    Is the small penis comment aimed at flaccid or erect penises?

  24. avatar ANdrew Lias says:

    Better to be small down there than up top where it matters.

  25. avatar actionphysicalman says:

    Wait a minute, did Thom Hartmann (I can’t just call him by his last name because it smacks of insulting Erich) just tell a fit former SEAL that if he did anything other than run from a home intruder that he’d likely be killed?

  26. avatar Malcolm says:

    I don’t know why Thom has an abnormal fascination with my penis. Maybe HE should be on some sort of registry.

  27. avatar rt-texas says:

    I told my wife that more guns make your penis larger and she just approved a $100,000 budget for me to buy new arms. Wait a minute…

  28. avatar Parnell says:

    I’m sorry but who the f**k is Thom Hartman?

    1. avatar Mr Pierogie says:

      I think he’s a very progressive, commie liberal radio host. I watched one video where he proved how tyrannical and/or stupid he is by advocating that personal wealth above some arbitrarily low number should be confiscated by the government. Guy is a total moron. Pure socialist garbage.


  29. avatar BDub says:

    Who cares why this guy is obsessed with penises? If every gun owner had a tiny micro-penis and every anti had a rolling-pin for a cock, it still wouldn’t help them when they get shot in the face – physics and all, you know.

  30. avatar Jeff R in IL says:

    All you need to ask someone who makes this assertion is “When did body shaming become okay?”

    Speaking their language is more effective in making them rethink the stupidity of their argument.

  31. avatar LongPurple says:

    I use the following response to the pseudo-Freudians I come across.

    The Freudian symbolism surrounding guns is obvious.
    Men who fear and reject guns as “evil” are fearful of their own masculinity, and reject that masculinity as something “dangerous” which they cannot control. They are symbolically expressing a suppressed desire to be eunuchs, if they cannot be female.
    They often recite the mantra “Guns have only one purpose –
    to kill”, but they know that is no more true than saying their penis has only one purpose. Aside from the fact it is part of the two-purpose male uro-genital system, it can be used as an instrument of pleasure in love-making, or a tool of defilement and hatred in rape.
    They attempt to deny the fact of that duality, and recognize only the perverted “evil” view of the gun/phallic symbol, enhancing the guilt and shame they associate with their masculine nature. It is that masculine nature they fear and hate, and want to purge by becoming a symbolic eunuch.
    Of course, they realize how disadvantaged they would be as eunuchs among true males. To solve that problem, they propose spreading their symbolic mutilation by force of law. That way, they hope to make all competing males symbolic eunuchs like themselves.
    Those men who enjoy owning and firing guns, and take pride in their skill with them, are rejoicing in their masculinity. They do not feel guilt, shame, or any inadequacy in their masculine nature, but are both happy and proud to be male.

    “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” — Sigmund Freud (attributed)

    “No symbols where none intended.” — Samuel Beckett

    1. avatar LongPurple says:

      Or more briefly, “I’ve got your refutation swingin'”.

  32. avatar Anonymous says:

    They seem really fixated on penises. Fetishizing penis crowd.

  33. avatar TravisP says:

    I guess I need to talk to my wife about her small penis….

    1. avatar Anonymous says:

      I need to talk to my mom about hers.

  34. avatar GuyFromV says:

    Just so everybody knows, I have a big penis.

  35. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    Molon Labe, lol.

    1. avatar 16V says:

      Mongo Labia?

  36. avatar Mikial says:

    A friend of mine at work who wants me to teach his kid to shoot, made a teasing stereotype joke about me that I took as a compliment . .

    “Fast cars, guns, and heavy metal . . Life in the fast lane.”

    I added , “And a young wife.”

    Life is good. Most times I think the Libs are just jealous because the biggest thrill they get on most days is the new flavor of $7 latte at Stabucks.

  37. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Well we all start out as girls. Does this dude think all guys should just use their fists to solve disagreements? Except in Jr. High most folks get over the size of OTHER mens junk. And he said this to a SEAL. DUH…

  38. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    That study is ridiculous. You could also find some stupid study that found non-gun owners are X times more likely to go to church, or be bullied, or people who don’t own guns are five times more likely to NOT say anything if someone cuts in line in front of them. Or non-gun owners are .004% to not even know what the middle finger means!
    This study is simply identifying personality traits of gun owners. If they had any brains whatsoever, they could do the same thing with MMPI tests. 99% of gun owners would not like the job of being a librarian. 82.6% of gun owners would like to be a forest ranger. 100 % of gun owners loved their mothers. 99.9% of gun owners don’t hear voices in their head. .001% of gun owners feel someone is controlling their thoughts.

    This stuff ticks me off. I’m going to go load my AK up with Torx® bits and go screw something up!
    Then to be super really bad, I’m going to exercise poor penis discipline and point my penis at something I don’t intend to shoot.

    1. avatar 16V says:

      The MMPI is based on the “norming” of some Midwest farmers about 50 years ago. It’s as scientifically valid as comparing muzzle-loaders to M4s….

  39. avatar Ralph says:

    What is it about gungrabbers and their fascination with our organs?

    We’re not concerned about their extremities nor what they do with them, are we? When Thom Hartmann spends all night polishing his boyfriend’s knob, do we care? No, we do not. Hillary Clinton has a bigger johnny than Hartmann, but do we pay any attention to it? No, we do not.

    And for god’s sake, gungrabbers, stop sending me those damn penis extension emails. I just bought another AR, so I have a new 16 incher. Enough is enough!

  40. avatar Gringo Cracker says:

    Thom, you really ought to wipe your chin before going off on one your unhinged tirades. It distracts from the histrionics. That is saliva, isn’t it?

  41. avatar Toddidit says:

    Shaquille O’Neal has a CCW. I’d like to watch while Hartman explains his theory to him.

  42. avatar TStew says:

    Hey, Thom…if it is about compensating for lack of penis size, then please do explain Sara Tipton and other women who carry?

  43. avatar JR Lorencz says:

    As one who suffers from a dishearteningly small private bit, I can only say it has been my accumulation of large, high powered rifles that has given me back the self confidence and esteem i have been missing for so many years. I have tried therapists (expensive) and even thingie pumps (painful), but I have put all of that behind me. Thank you NRA, and thank you AMERICA!

    And to all you 2A haters, you’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers (if you can find it).

    1. avatar Lucas D. says:

      I can’t tell if this is good satire or bad satire, which I guess means it’s good satire.

      1. avatar JR Lorencz says:

        We thank you.

  44. avatar SC says:

    Oh my goodness! Everyone thinks that men only buy guns if they have a small penis. Well, I don’t want anyone to think I have a small penis, so I am getting rid of all my guns right this very second.

    I read a comment on some other site of a gun owner responding to a similar “small penis attack”. I can’t remember where, and I can’t quote exactly but it was along the lines of “yeah, you’re right, I do have deficient genitals, they don’t spit out 147 grain jacketed hollow points at 1000 fps, and I’m tired of having to lug it around to just to beat muggers to death.”

  45. avatar jwm says:

    Penis, again. All antis think of is the penis. In texas they’re waving dildos, no doubt very used, around as a protest against guns.

    Grabbers are just plain weird.

    1. avatar Wee Liam says:

      It’s a disarmament talking point; there is not an iota of sincerity in it.

  46. avatar Roy says:

    From wikiquote, Sigmund Freud:

    “A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.”
    This is not a statement that appears in any translation of any of Freud’s works. It is a paraphrase of a statement from the essay “Guns, Murders, and the Constitution” (February 1990) by Don B. Kates, Jr.

    One of the statements by Freud which Kates summarized from in Dreams in Folklore (1958), p. 33, reads:

    “The representation of the penis as a weapon, cutting knife, dagger etc., is familiar to us from the anxiety dreams of abstinent women in particular and also lies at the root of numerous phobias in neurotic people.”

    1. avatar Gringo Cracker says:

      Like a cigar, sometimes a gun is just a gun?

  47. avatar tdiinva (Now in Wisconsin) says:

    Ok let’s get right. What Freud actually saiid was that people who are afraid of guns are emotionally and sexually immature

  48. avatar Charles Ray says:

    Why do conservatives meekly accommodate the Totalitarian Left by referring to them by the Orwellian term “progressive”?

  49. avatar Wee Liam says:

    Hartman believes he’ll get to keep his guns when ours are confiscated.

    Another elitist turncoat.

  50. avatar macgearailt says:

    Once again, Saul Alinsky makes another appearance on TTAG. The thirteenth rule: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it. — P.126-129, Rules For Radicals.

  51. avatar Mad Max says:

    The concept of something representing a small penis only resides within small brains…

  52. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    I’m not really interesting in watching the video but if he really did say, ““The Second Amendment doesn’t give you an individual right to own a gun either.” , well he’s quite right. The Second Amendment doesn’t give us any right, it simply recognizes an existing right and provides protections against the government interfering with the free exercise of that right.

  53. avatar Guest says:

    I would just point out to the gun grabbers that John Holmes owned lots of guns.

  54. avatar 2AMexican says:


  55. avatar Guest says:

    If size doesn’t matter,why do all chicks flock to my massive White meatage?

  56. avatar Cknarf says:

    I drive a Tercel, and happen to be carrying a tiny .22 right now.

    My penis must be HUUUUUUUUUGE! I can’t wait to get home and show the wife.

  57. avatar Goose says:

    John Dillinger also had a huge White schlong.

  58. avatar Mikey says:

    Blacks are always repeating the lie that blacks have larger schlongs than any other race,if that is the case,then why is every black male in the ghetto carrying a gun?

  59. avatar Al says:

    Has a case of violent crime ever been averted because of a large penis? No? Liberal idiocy strikes again!

    1. avatar Mikey says:

      Indeed,I have never heard of a case where a criminal was cock whipped into submission.

  60. avatar the ruester says:

    This guy is a scam. Literally, his show is based on starting arguments with unsuspecting folks who think he’s legit, and then he goes off into nonsense, and by the end the guest figures out he’s been had and sometimes laughs, sometimes storms off. I wouldn’t call him a “progressive” host. He’s more like the “crank yankers” of talk shows. In other words, you’ve all been had.

  61. avatar Grindstone says:

    It’s kind of telling how afraid and insecure they are in themselves.

  62. avatar Libertarian says:

    Not allow whiteout register if the “barel” is under 16/18 inches and the overall under 26 ^^

  63. avatar CRF says:

    “You’re just compensating with your guns!”

    “Of course I am. If I could kill stuff with my d*ck from 200 yards then I wouldn’t need a gun would I?”

  64. avatar gsnyder says:

    I often wonder if guys like Thom are covert sales people for Remington.

  65. avatar Kyle says:

    How the hell can you say to a Navy SEAL with a straight face that they have a small penis!?

  66. avatar Brian says:

    I like Yankee Marshal’s response to those statements:
    “I don’t carry a gun because I have a small penis, it’s merely a coincidence.”

  67. avatar Dustin says:

    If Thom would like to bend over for a moment, I’ll be glad to help him test his assertion.

  68. avatar Tommyr says:

    My penis is average size. It has nothing to do with my Shotgun and visa versa.

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