Armed Robbery Fail: Foolish Man Tries to Rob Pizza Guy With Only a Rifle Magazine

Dan Zimmerman demonstrates the suspect’s technique

There’s not much to this story, but it’s so absurd that it needs to be on the record. Wednesday night in Rockford, Illinois, a man ordered a pizza from an unnamed restaurant. The non-customer then intercepted the delivery man in the parking lot, attempting to rob him…while pointing a loaded rifle magazine at him.

Needless to say, this tactic was ineffective. The two men struggled briefly before the magazine-wielder ran off. The delivery man called police to file a report and did not suffer any injuries from the incident.

The suspect is described as a 155-pound 5’8″ black man in his 20s or 30s, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and black pants.

Is this the dumbest robbery attempt you’ve ever heard? A candidate for second place might be the guy who got chased out of one house with a gun immediately before being shot in a different house. Or maybe the guy who got shot after breaking into a home with a ‘Smith & Wesson Spoken Here’ sign on the door.

Regardless, we’re glad the pizza guy knew the difference between a firearm and a magazine (which is more than can be said for some politicians).

comments

  1. avatar anonymous says:

    Would have been nice to see a video of this.

    I needed a good laugh.

    1. avatar Nigel the expat says:

      Some idiot tried this last year as well:

      ammoland dot com/2017/05/man-rob-pizza-just-gun-magazine/

      It is apparently a thing 😉

      1. avatar Isaac says:

        https://www.wsaz.com/content/news/Police-Man-uses-shotgun-barrel-in-attempted-carjacking-499878322.html

        That my home town. I think a barrel would be more intimidating than a magazine. Atleast it would work as a beating stick.

        1. avatar Broke_It says:

          Is this why there’s a drive to outlaw the things? I had no idea a magazine posed a threat outside of a firearm to use it in.

        2. avatar Alexander says:

          A magazine and bullets would make two felonies in DC and NYC. This must have happened often there, to compel the fathers and the mothers of those cities to enact such laws.

  2. avatar Barnbwt says:

    Was marijuana a factor?

    1. avatar S.Crock says:

      That would have to be some strong marijuana. Maybe this guy was just hoping the victim believed the MSM lies about “high capacity clips” being extra deadly.

      1. avatar SAFEupstateFML says:

        Honestly the picture of the young wannabe gangster holding an extended mag to the grip of a j frame revolver comes to mind.

    2. avatar Fred says:

      Why not ask if alcohol was a factor? Marijuana would not be a contributor to this behavior

      1. avatar rosignol says:

        Did the guy doing the stickup demand the cash, or the pizza?

      2. avatar neiowa says:

        You have never met a braindead pothead? Or are you one?

        1. avatar barnbwt says:

          I assume the latter, and “fred” is a misspelling of “fried”

      3. avatar Chris T in KY says:

        The problem with Libertarians is they don’t want to hold people accountable for their misdeeds when those individuals are intoxicated. Because Libertarians are non-judgemental.

        Libertarians are incapable of holding someone accountable for a crime when the criminal was intoxicated. To them that is “special circumstances”.

        It’s one thing to want to legalize drugs. It’s quite another to refuse to hold people accountable when they commit crimes while they were intoxicated.

        1. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

          *citation needed*

        2. avatar LarryinTX says:

          If true, that would make for some interesting laws. I assume if someone injured me or mine while drunk, they could not be prosecuted. But I could get drunk and then go murder the entire family, and their dog, and I could not be prosecuted either. We could probably save a lot of money on LE. OH! Just struck me, if the person who harmed me or mine was *not* drunk, makes no difference, I can get drunk and go kill him anyway. I’m not thinking this is an accurate representation of Libertarian beliefs.

    3. avatar neiowa says:

      In Rockford Il “suspect is described as a 155-pound 5’8″ black man in his 20s or 30s”

    4. avatar Larry says:

      No, the idiot was just a democrat trying to tap into the unused part of his brain without success.

    5. avatar daveinwyo says:

      Even stoners know clipazines w/1 30 shot round is not dangerous.

    6. avatar Jake says:

      Naw, it’s public school education now days.

  3. avatar The Rookie says:

    It was originally supposed to be a five-man robbery team, but the guy with the upper got into an argument with the guy with the lower, the guy with the barrel missed the call because his phone was out of minutes, and the guy with the gas tube system and the bayonet lug had to attend a Bris.

    True story.

    1. avatar Nigel the expat says:

      Wait, so which one went through the background check process and filled out the 4473? 😉

      1. avatar blahpony says:

        None of them. They bought it online.

        /s

        1. avatar Tiger Tomcat says:

          Still would need to fill out the paperwork for a lower, unless it is an uncompleted one.

        2. avatar Flying Fish says:

          Duh, they got the lower receiver at a gun show using the gun show loophole. Geeze, is everyone here that out of the loop?

        3. avatar Big Bill says:

          Dear Tom Tigercat,

          The “/s” at the end of Blahpony’s comment indicates his comment was sarcasm. Quite possibly because of the widespread (false) idea among the gun grabbers that guns bought online do not have to be accompanied with the normal background checks.

          Sincerly,
          Big Bill

  4. avatar TheUnspoken says:

    Civilians need to realize, as our government has, that even a gun part or accessory is a dangerous, potentially illegal weapon itself. The pizza man made the wrong choice, he needs to put his hands up and comply, do not resist violence, save that for the police. Back to re-education camp with him!

    Imagine if the robber had used an unregistered machine gun, eg bump stock by itself, or had an actual firearm (AR lower or unmounted silencer). Glad criminals understand they can now use partial weapons, no need to waste time and money, they can still get the same charges!

  5. avatar jakee308 says:

    Well the gun grabbers and the media keep saying how dangerous those high capacity magazines are.

    Just shows we need some common sense gun education for our politicians and journalists.

    I do find this difficult to believe though.

    1. avatar Southern Cross says:

      Yes, so dangerous you might drop it on your foot which will leave a bruise.

    2. avatar LarryinTX says:

      I’m just thankful it didn’t went off.

  6. avatar Kendahl says:

    I can see how that could work. The victim would be laughing too hard to resist.

  7. avatar former water walker says:

    Gee my errant 41 year old son delivers pizza for a “living”. I’ll warn him!😄😎😋😏

  8. avatar Yarbles says:

    Education in the ‘Black’ community of Rockford must be just awful.

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      It’s Illinois

    2. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      Rockford is basically a scaled-down version of Chicago. Just as bad, but not as big.

      The main difference between Rockford and Chicago is you can drive around (not through) Rockford without getting stuck in traffic.

  9. avatar Widdler says:

    I can only imagine my reaction being held at “magazine point”. I’d turn around laughing looking for the hidden camera. My question is if he did that to a ccw holder and was shot would it be justified? I’m thinking no, but i’ve been wrong before.

    1. avatar LarryinTX says:

      Well, if he was 6’6″ and 270 lbs, I might go ahead and shoot him anyway, to avoid getting him pissed off.

      1. avatar zuikowarrior says:

        Yep, my response, too.

    2. avatar Rusty Chains says:

      If you were to pull your gun on this idiot, you would get to say in your best imitation of a Down Under voice: “That’s not a gun, now this is a gun!”

  10. avatar Ho ho hoe says:

    That’s one of the reason why we need to ban high capacity magazines. It would be harder to hold and display a 10rds magazine. More gun control POTUS, please keep it up!

  11. avatar MB says:

    …and they wonder why so many are in prison… Well because maybe they are stupid. Want a better life?, stay in school, don’t hang in gangs, don’t do stupid shit. If you think you are going to get rich robbing pizza delivery people, you really are stupid. Prison is not cool.

    1. avatar GS650G says:

      And you’re not going to look cool with this story hanging over you. The cons will be laughing for days.

  12. avatar Michael says:

    Sorta’ gives “Stand and deliver!”, a different meaning…”your pizza or your life”. -30-

  13. avatar Andrew Lias says:

    https://twitter.com/VancityReynolds/status/817799908937736192

    Best quote ever. He should try a bagel next time. That said coming out of a pizza parlor this guy is likely immune.

  14. avatar Michael says:

    When glutens are outlawed…only outlaws will have glutens…nope, not quite…not even close…what is a gluten, anyway? -30-

  15. avatar Morbid831 says:

    You’re all missing the point. Dude had a ghost gun.

    1. avatar Flying Fish says:

      Or a 3D printed one, and we all know how loooong 3D printing takes. So poor sucker gets hungry while waiting and tries to get a pizza with the only complete gun part he has.

  16. avatar GS650G says:

    Fork over the money or I’ll go home and get the gun this clip fits!

    Probably how it went.

    1. avatar Andrew Lias says:

      Or he offered to give him strippers in exchange for the pizza. He didn’t say he meant stripper clips of course.

  17. avatar DaveL says:

    Don’t do drugs, kids.

  18. avatar flynbenny says:

    He must have gone to the Diana Degette school of firearms knowledge.

  19. avatar What would spock say says:

    This might have worked if the mag was topped off with some creedmore

  20. avatar UpInArms says:

    What would make this even more absurd: The pizza guy gave up the goods.

  21. avatar MyName says:

    I have a sister-in-law who gets scared every time she sees a live round in my house/truck/campsite/wherever. I’ve explained to her a dozen times that a round without a gun is almost as harmful as a new-born kitten but she seems impervious to reason.

    1. avatar Widdler says:

      I know a few of them too, I’ve told them to think of it like a battery. Won’t work till it’s in something, but to each his own i guess. Some just refuse to reason, and it’s ok. I don’t understand skinny jeans, and never going to.

  22. avatar possum says:

    He forgot to say !!Bang bang!!!……. Besides Daily Digest how about some more of those caption this photo, sans prizes

  23. avatar Ranger Rick says:

    I guess Michael Bloomberg was right about high capacity magazines instigate violence….?

  24. avatar RGP says:

    I think a magazine like the August 1978 issue of Hustler is an ideal weapon.

  25. avatar racer88 says:

    If he had held it sideways, gangsta-style, it would have been much more intimidating…. and bad-ass.

    1. avatar Widdler says:

      Oooh! And do it in slow-mo….Everything’s cooler lookin in slow-mo.

    2. avatar Flying Fish says:

      Slo-Mo and with some cool Jackie Chan like flying Kung Fu moves.

  26. avatar Widdler says:

    Alright guys, maybe we’re all wrong. Maybe the guy forgot his wallet, and figured a pmag loaded with .556 is worth around 20 bucks. Could happen, just read 2 days ago a 23 year old in Florida tried to use a bag of weed to pay at a McDonalds drive thru. So a pmag payment kinda makes sense now.

  27. avatar kap says:

    Now we know why 30 round magazine are so dangerous and should be banned!!1 A person doesn’t even need a Firearm

  28. avatar Scott Vaughn says:

    Loser!

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