Woman Shoots Publicly Masturbating Nutcase Trying to Get Into Her House

This defensive gun use out of Southeast Houston falls solidly in the ‘Can’t Make This Stuff Up’ category. A couple weeks before this incident, police had arrested the suspect for exposure (walking around naked in public). Tuesday evening, while out on bond, he was au naturel once again…except this time, he was also masturbating on a bicycle outside a woman’s house.

The woman, who is in her sixties, encountered him while taking out the trash around 5:15pm. She told him to stop the lewd behavior. He didn’t. Instead, he watched her walk toward her front door, followed her straight up to it, and started trying to break in. From inside the house, the woman shouted at him to leave, warning him that she had a gun.

The man refused to leave. No doubt thinking of her 14-year-old granddaughter who was there at the time, the woman fired a single shot through her front door.

The wounded man staggered over to his bicycle and tried to get away before collapsing a few feet away from the house.

Once police arrived, he was rushed to a hospital and is expected to survive the shooting. The teenager didn’t witness the shooting and neither she nor her grandmother were physically harmed.

Note: shooting through an exterior door is a bad idea. In this case, the home owner was an elderly grandmother protecting a teenage granddaughter from a deranged attacker, so the optics and the politics of charging her won’t be good. The woman hasn’t been charged so far and we’d be surprised if that happens.

It’s looking like all she’ll need is a new door, and perhaps some psychological support.

A female neighbor who asked not to be named sums up this incident perfectly:

“I would have done the same thing. Protect your family! She did what she had to do.”

comments

  1. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

    Hey, let me tell my side of the story! There is a perfectly good explanation. I was going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up……;-)

    1. avatar California Richard says:

      I’m sure he was a misunderstood aspiring hip hip artist who was working on his GED and volunteering at the local ____________ (insert charity). Obviously he was in metal distress and did not deserve a bullet! This is an other example why we should do everything possible to curb the scourge of gun violence in our communities. Victims like this (not the old lady with the gun, but the naked psychopath) deserve more from us than a bullet in the face! Now lets all riot, burn police cars, shut down freeways, and loot the local Best Buy!

      1. avatar Mr. savage says:

        oh, you just want a bigger t.v.!

      2. avatar Gunr says:

        “Insert charity”
        NAACP?

    2. avatar Robb says:

      I’m going to recommend you all repeat basic training.

      1. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

        Thanks man, I needed to hear that;-)

    3. avatar Southern Cross says:

      I’m willing to bet meth was involved.

  2. avatar Ranger Rick says:

    Someone please alert Gabby Giffords and the Hogg boy regarding this incident as I understand they don’t believe personal ownership of firearms save lives.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Or prevent potential rape.

      1. avatar Jon in CO says:

        No, that’s some people in the CO state legislature. You should pee on yourself. That one has been recalled, however Diane Degette, the infamous “these high cap mags are bullets, so banning them, people are going to shoot them, and the supply will end up getting smaller in the future” is still in.

  3. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

    Y’know, if you had asked me in 1970 the sorts of things I expected to be reading in the newspapers in the future within my lifespan, headlines like this were not among those things.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      Yeah, I read the headline too quickly and thought that the woman shot a public masturbator in the nutcase.

      Now that would have been epic!

    2. avatar Ingenero says:

      You…must not have read much in the 60s and early 70s. The hippies, counterculture, bombings, etc got really wild. I figured the Manson thing was more sensational, and tons more happened since then. Roman Polanski, Patty Hearst, the Rajneeshi in the 80s, Jim Bakker, Bill Clinton, and so on…

      1. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

        I read plenty in the 60’s and 70’s.

        I can recall of no one reported as spanking the monkey whilst riding a bicycle during that time, least of all in Texas. The Haight in San Francisco? OK, possible. West LA? OK, maaaaybe.

        Texas? Nope.

        There was plenty of bizarre stuff going on in the 60’s and 70’s, especially among the drug-addled idiots, but this particular incident sets new record of stupidity in public. The perp was begging to get shot, sooner or later.

  4. avatar New Continental Army says:

    Aim for the dick, everytime.

    1. avatar Model 31 says:

      Pretty sure the round went through wood before center mass.

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        I’m wonder why she would need a new door, unless she was using a shotgun with buckshot, and fired at a distance.

        1. avatar Hannibal says:

          People might not want a door with a hole in it, even if plugged.

          Although, it might advertise that your house is not the best one to invade…

    2. avatar California Richard says:

      “Aim for the dick” is the rule of thumb for long distance high incline angle shooting… bullet tends to go high, so you’ll most likely get a chest shot…. If not, then you’ll blow off the guy’s dick. Win-win.

    3. avatar Ralph says:

      She shot the dick, in a manner of speaking.

  5. avatar The Rookie says:

    “he was au naturel once again…except this time, he was also masturbating on a bicycle outside a woman’s house.”

    Man, he must have checked off an entire page of his bucket list with that one..

    1. avatar Zeke says:

      That must be some nice bicycle!

    2. avatar drunkEODguy says:

      When I finally mastered no handed riding as a kid, the thought never occurred to me to use my now free hands for this. True innovator there.

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        It takes “two” hands for you to milk the lizard?

        1. avatar jwm says:

          Well, there are Geckos. And then there are Monitors.

  6. avatar sound awake says:

    Note: shooting through an exterior door is a bad idea.

    not if the guy on the other side who is trying to unlawfully gain entry has a shotgun

    in that case im going to do whatever is necessary to keep him from coming in with that thing

    yeah my little 124 or 135 grain jacketed hollowpoints probably wont drop him like 4th period french after having gone through the door

    but itll definitely get inside his ooda loop

    1. avatar California Richard says:

      6.5 CM has such a good BC and its overall cartridge length is so close to .308 Win that when it gets inside your OODA loop, you’ll pay it money for services rendered and need a cigarette afterwords.

      6.5 Creedmoore for Governor. Remember to vote in November.

  7. avatar arc says:

    A new door? A little wood putty, some sanding, and a fresh coat of paint, that door will look like new.

    1. avatar Baldwin says:

      The scar should be left on the door as a warning to others.

      1. avatar Bloving says:

        I’d be tempted to stick a little bilingual sign underneath it pointing out it’s significance.
        🤠

  8. avatar bobo says:

    “this is my rifle –this is my gun!”

    well f-er this is my smith and Wesson –bang!

  9. avatar Arandom Dude says:

    Shooting through an exterior door is usually a bad idea because you usually don’t know for sure who the person on the other side is or what their intentions are. In a case like this where the homeowner knew for sure who the person was (a psycho) and could reasonably surmise his intentions (sexual assault) shooting through a door is a very good idea indeed.

  10. avatar Imayeti says:

    Leave the outside of the hole open. Put a brass plaque over it saying “Bullet hole for the last perv that bothered me. Rethink your motive before knocking.”

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      How about a sign that says “We shoot every third pervert, the second one just left!”

  11. avatar Rocketman says:

    I wonder if the FIRST time he had been arrested the judge had sentenced him to have a psychiatric evaluation?

  12. avatar Ogre says:

    The perp was just a misunderstood naturist doing what came naturally. Of course, there is always a price to pay for that. And what wasted potential! Riding a bicycle naked while pounding his pud – he should have started a sideshow act starring him and been gainfully employed.

  13. avatar Ralph says:

    “the woman fired a single shot through her front door.”

    She’s the Bidenator!

  14. avatar dlj95118 says:

    …choking the chicken while riding a bike?

    Now, THAT’S talent!

    1. avatar Geoff "Mess with the Bull, get the Horns" PR says:

      Nah, the bike had no seat…

      *snicker* 😉

      1. avatar dlj95118 says:

        —> OUCH <—

        1. avatar Gunr says:

          Double OUCH!

      2. avatar jwm says:

        I knew that you were going to say that. And that pre knowledge is kinda disturbing.

        1. avatar Geoff "Mess with the Bull, get the Horns" PR says:

          Wuh I do now?

          *snicker* 😉

  15. avatar Naked Gun 33 1/3 says:

    “Walking around naked” is not against the law, nudity is. Nudity should not be against the law. This society developes perverted behavior with perverted laws. I find it interesting that the more civilized we claim to become the more problems we seem to create. Perhaps if we rise above the power of the “Takers” we will be able to start towards the path of civilization. Yet we build machines of war, robots and drones and death from afar, what’s left when the human element is eliminated from waging campaigns against nations and death is delivered by a machine? Our civilization is controlled by machines, we toil to keep the machinery in place, without it this so called civil society reverts back to the savages we once were. An unclothed, animistic clan of beings who had the capacity to appreciate life and value their next generation. How pathetic we reach for distant planets in hopes of a new beginning. Do we somehow sense that we have failed?….. Money manifest the greed, greed manifest the murder, murder manifest revenge, oh the cycle of the sins.

    1. avatar former water walker says:

      COME to my door in the buff…I dare you!

    2. avatar Dave Lewis says:

      Huh? So if we walk around in the nude wars will cease, and money, greed and all of the other sins will go away. Well I might agree that we’ll have almost no place to conceal a weapon, and no pockets for our money but I respectfully suggest that the human capacity for evil doesn’t depend on how much skin is exposed. Primitive almost totally naked societies murder, steal, and wage war.

    3. avatar jwm says:

      So, what does it feel like to get shot through a door?

    4. avatar mallydobb says:

      wanking in public is illegal, you seemed to have missed that part.

  16. avatar Gunr says:

    Your post clarifies your handle.

  17. avatar Dave Lewis says:

    In a follow up, the bad guy declined to be represented by a court appointed attorney. He stated that he “will appear before the judge and get himself off”.

    Sorry

    1. avatar Chris says:

      Well played!

    2. avatar Gunr says:

      Great come back, man you got talent!

  18. avatar Chris T from KY says:

    I have said it before and I will say it again. According to the sexually liberated, the three L’s, Libertarians Liberals and the Left, and the homosexuals, all who say there is nothing wrong with walking around naked in public. Defecating in public is okay. Urinating in public is okay. Committing sex acts in public. All socially acceptable in California.

    All of them support gun control. All of them.

    The problem is the rest of the country refuses to go along. That is why conservatives are called racist, homophobic, intolerant, etc, etc, etc.

    1. avatar Ingenero says:

      Once again, leave the libertarians out of your Ls. I’m sure some are fine with public nudity…and others see it as a reasonable exercise of local authorities. You’ll find the same in a lot of places. The LP has no official stance, and such things tend to be in the weeds of things libertarians don’t have a unified view on (which represents a universe of stuff, outside of “less government”). I’ll also note that even the Libs are pushing back against this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_nudity_in_San_Francisco. Note the lack of a ban goes back more than a century…and I understand the (openly homosexual) city councilman representing the Castro district was one of the big proponents.

      1. avatar Chris T in KY says:

        Just as its normal for Libertarian women to walk around with a well fitted strap on dildo in public, and not just in Austin Texas, strap on dildo attire is normal wear at the average homosexual pride parade. So now you have more people walking around naked, which is “normal” for those people.

        There have been some people on TTAG who have said there is no problem with masturbating naked on front of children because its not a violent act???

        That would explain why the nudists are so hard core for gun control. They don’t want to get shot “performing a non violent act in front of children.

        BTW, I was born and raised in Sacramento California. I know the state very well. And its history.

  19. avatar Ralph says:

    He’ll be acquitted. The evidence will never stand up in court.

    1. avatar Hoyden says:

      He’ll just get a stiff fine. You know how these things just pop up.

  20. avatar GluteusMaximus says:

    If you can’t masturbate in public what’s the point. Right?

  21. avatar Ingenero says:

    That’s one less horror in the world….

    Ugh.

  22. avatar coagula says:

    why does this feel like it should be a Florida story…

  23. avatar Jim Bullock says:

    “Nutcase?” more Whack-job, I think.

  24. avatar Eric says:

    she blew her load before he blew his!

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