Florida Kids’ Latest Fad: False School Shooting Reports

courtesy wikimedia.org

First we were treated to viral videos of bored adolescents munching Tide Pods. Then they moved on to condom snorting because why not? Now, though, in post-Parkland Florida, those kookie kids have come up with something much more exciting.

David Hogg’s contemporaries have taken to phoning in false reports of school shootings. The latest prankster, from Deltona Middle School just north of Orlando, even went to the trouble of including video showing running feet for a little added authenticity.

The 14-year-old boy is one of more than 30 Volusia County students who have been charged with felonies related to false reports of school violence since the Feb. 14 shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland.

Did you catch that? Thirty in Volusia County alone. It seems a good bet that it’s happening in other counties in the Sunshine State, too.

The Deltona student sent a message to a friend that said, “Schoil (sic) shooting much scared plz (sic) pray,” according to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office. He told a school resource deputy he did it as a prank, and he didn’t want to dispel the rumor for several hours because he wanted others to think the supposed shooting was happening in real time.

Nice kid. Fortunately, the school year is almost over. Maybe the thrill of this pastime will fade over the Summer vacation. Anyone want to guess what the little skulls full of mush will try to pull when they return in August?

 

comments

  1. avatar CalGunsMD says:

    That app Greg Abbott just unveiled will facilitate this.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “That app Greg Abbott just unveiled will facilitate this.”

      You know, if you’re so *stupid* to use an ‘app’ on a cellphone that can be traced *directly* back to you, you deserve everything you’ve got coming to you…

      1. avatar drew says:

        throw away phone FTW

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          “throw away phone FTW”

          That dumbass couldn’t even think that far ahead..

  2. avatar Gun Owning American says:

    Maybe actually taking responsibility and growing up a little bit. Too much to ask for?

  3. avatar Ralph says:

    False school shooting reports are the life’s blood of the Brady Campaign, Mom’s Demanding Hard Action and every other pack of imperial storm troopers.

    200 million school shootings since 2016! Every student in America killed at least once! The shooters were literally armed by the NRA!

  4. avatar Shire-man says:

    If we can’t get people to stop acting like jackasses we should just go full jackass with endless phony threats, overloading Abbott’s shitty app, anonymous calls 24/7 reporting anything, everything and nothing at all.

    I’ve always felt like the biggest failure of the “see something, say something” meme was that we never did. It would have been so much better if full tilt paranoia took over and broke the system. It’d be even more fun today now that everything is -ist and -phobic.

    1. avatar Blackspike2710 says:

      I’d rather not make false reports of terrorist attacks thank you.

  5. avatar strych9 says:

    I think it’s a game to see who’s dad can hire the best lawyer.

    1. avatar ACP_armed says:

      What kids dad is a lawyer?

  6. avatar Paul McMichael says:

    Filing a false law enforcement report is a crime. I’ve seen the same thing done with false bomb reports because the caller didn’t want to go to work that day. Bet these little asswipes weren’t ready for a history exam that day.

    1. avatar Southern Cross says:

      Universities often get bomb scares at the time of end of term exams.

    2. avatar ironicatbest says:

      Once us hi skool kids back in the late 60’s discovered bomb threats to schools meant a day off, we had three that year. Didn’t matter if the ” fuzz” knew it was fake, still had to check it out. So yeah that’s all them school shooting threats are. In my opinion anyway

  7. avatar neiowa says:

    Wow end of the school year and get out early reins? Shocking. No pulling the fire alarm or writing fake messages on the bathroom wall for the kiddies in 2018.

    PERHAPS ban their damn cell phones during the school day?

    1. avatar Mark N. says:

      Uh huh. We know how well banning works. The best teachers can do is confiscate them during class—if they dare.

  8. avatar former water walker says:

    How about a 20 year stretch in the joint for a false report?!? Now THAT’S a fun prank😄😎😏

    1. avatar Bloving says:

      I’ve suggested it before… public corporal punishment in the school auditorium or lunch hall. Bamboo caning across the buttocks. We will stop only when the little comedian laughs aloud at his own joke.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        @Bloving – By any chance are you a ‘follically-challenged’ (mostly-bald) individual?

        1. avatar Bloving says:

          Challenged? Hell, no… that Wahl trimmer makes it easy…
          🤠

        2. avatar Geoff PR says:

          Saw your response to that woman in the newspaper…

      2. avatar Walrus Gumboot says:

        Corporal punishment is less effective than tying the kid and his family up in months of expensive litigation. Months and then a huge fine.

  9. avatar DrewR55 says:

    This isn’t really new. I remember after Columbine we had a couple false scares at my high school in Florida. I am sure there were additional ‘prank’ scares after every shooting.

    Plus, didn’t a government employee get arrested last year for calling in false bomb threats so she could have a couple days off?

  10. avatar Gator says:

    In other news, Dick’s is going strong:

    https://www.marketwatch.com/story/dicks-profit-jumps-as-gun-policy-has-muted-impact-2018-05-30

    Interesting, same store sales declined 2.5% while total sales were up 4.6% and profits were up 3.2%, all over same quarter last year. Sales and profits improved due to more stores.

    Stock price up 18% on the news and up 6.1% YTD.

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      “Dick’s Turgid with Cash”

    2. avatar Bob999 says:

      Focus! Man, stay focused!

  11. avatar Gun Free School Zones are a crime against humanity says:

    Catch a felony, lose a future.

  12. avatar Tim Beatty says:

    The new fad will be for kids to steal their parent’s guns and post pictures with them. It will have the tacit endorsement of the press and gun control crowd.

  13. avatar Cruzo1981 says:

    Greg Abbott just unveiled a red flag BS. What is the great state of TX coming to?

    1. avatar Ed Schrade says:

      It’s not law yet.

  14. avatar Fred says:

    Nothing new here (besides internet reporting). High Schools got regular bomb threats in the late 90s/early 2000s. I knew a local school that would get ~10 a year and was never featured on national news. Its just what happens. Kids are dumb, impressionable and impulsive. They always have been and always will be.

  15. avatar K says:

    Hey, if everyone is a felon then no one can own a gun.

    1. avatar rt66paul says:

      Bingo! What better to make all citizens crooks and deny them(and their families) firearms rights. If you have a family member who has been in jail, no firearms for you – an inlaw? a friend? anyone you have ever known? anyone in your family ever met someone like that? Anyone in your church? A person your cousin 3x removed (3000 mi away) might have given a dollar to?

      No guns for you!!!

  16. avatar little horn says:

    its amazing how many non-parental parents we have these days. and by amazing i mean extremely disappointing.

  17. avatar DrDKW says:

    At least those little “skulls full of mush” ought to serve a couple years in ‘Juvi’; before “returning”. Though they’ll probably get off under the ‘Promise’ program!

    DrDKW

  18. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    Anyone want to guess what the little skulls full of mush will try to pull when they return in August?
    Yeah, but our generation had (fill in flavor of the week terrorist group) People’s Liberation Army has planted a ( type of bomb flavor of the week) in the ( location flavor of the week) and we are going to blow it off in ( time frame flavor of the week) for the liberation of ( group flavor of the week).
    Meanwhile, we all partied in the parking lot.

  19. avatar CZJay says:

    Kids still “SWAT” innocent people; they just got better at it rather than stop doing it. So, I don’t see this going away unless they are all charged and convicted of a crime. Seeing how Florida deals with criminal teens, it’s hard to see that happening.

  20. avatar T says:

    Look again at this story, don’t be so quick to judge. He didn’t call law enforcement. He texted his friend to make a joke. Someone took it from there and ran with it, probably not the intended recipient. Does that constitute filing a false report?

    He didn’t even pull a fire alarm. I would think that he would be protected under the first amendment. Whoever raised the police filed the false report, not him.

  21. avatar Cisco kid 2.0 says:

    Real stuff man I survived all 40 fake news sounds.

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