Getting older’s not for p*ssies, as my father used to say. Copy that. While my health remains good (must be the cigars), I face constant ageism when it comes to my choice of dating partners. Combine that with my profession and my love life looks like Death Valley. But this isn’t about me . . .

A woman who on her 46th birthday told investigators she had been drinking and was “livid” that her husband had taken her name off a joint bank account he used for work besieged their house Thursday with a shotgun . . .

The husband told investigators their ongoing disagreement escalated when the woman arrived at the house, according to court documents. He said he closed the blinds and hid in the house as she banged on the door with the butt of the shotgun, yelling obscenities at him.

He also said that she discharged the shotgun. Thinking she might succeed in forcing her way in, the husband escaped out the back door and ran into the woods, according to documents.

Right answer! When someone’s being irresponsible — not to say life-threatening — with a gun, it’s time to beat feet. The question raised by this article in kitsapsun.com (aside from his choice of partners): whether or not the aggrieved husband should have done the following:

The man said he did not feel threatened for his own safety, only that the woman would shoot belongings or herself, which resulted in her charge being downgraded from a potential felony to harassment, a gross misdemeanor.

If convicted as charged, she wouldn’t automatically lose her right to possess a firearm, as she would with a felony, but she would be prohibited from possessing a firearm while a no-contact order is in place, which are common in domestic violence cases.

Does that mean that the husband would be prevented from keeping a firearm in the house with a prohibited person? Wait! Consider the extenuating circumstances!

The woman told detectives she didn’t know her husband was inside the house. However, the husband showed investigators text messages in which the women said she was going to start shooting out windows if he didn’t “come out here,” according to documents.

While speaking with detectives, the woman said she fired the shotgun to clear it of live ammunition so she could use it to beat on the front door and said she had consumed five to six mixed drinks that day to manage pain from a back surgery.

OK then! Or not. In fact, the birthday celebrating wife is clearly an irresponsible gun owner. Who should be named, in the name of public safety. Then again, who expects the mainstream media to live up to their responsibilities? Not this OFWG.

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18 Responses to Unidentified Port Orchard, WA Shotgun-Wielding Wife: Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day

  1. Haha I gotta say her reasoning for unloading the weapon is legitimate. If given the right circumstances I always choose to unload live ammo through the barrel

  2. As for ageism, RF. If one person calls you a creepy pervert there’s room for discussion. But if they’re all threatening you with pepper spray and restraining orders, the problem is squarely yours.

    • Yeah, if all the women you approach are rejecting you because of your age, that’s probably a sign that you either need to give up trying to make time with women half your age, or find a way to make a whole lot more money.

      • He drives a late-model Benz, and doesn’t live in the trailer-park end of town.

        He’s probably trying to chase the much younger ones.

        RF, cougars can be *insatiable*… 😉

  3. The husband told investigators he did not feel threatened for his own safety, because he calculated he wanted to have sex with her again. Same reason we all lie for women.

    “Five to six mixed drinks that day to manage pain from a back surgery” as if one’s birthday was not an excuse to drink? Why lie about drinking on your birthday?

    There is actually nothing about this story that makes sense, except that codependents will be codependents…

  4. “A woman who on her 46th birthday told investigators she had been drinking and was “livid” that her husband had taken her name off a joint bank account he used for work besieged their house Thursday with a shotgun . . .”

    The make-up nookie was probably…

    Very nice. 🙂

  5. Why not consider setting your sights on an age appropriate lady with similar interests?

    Also, consider smoking fewer cigars, and getting more exercise. Moderate weight training is effective even in late middle age.

  6. Good idea getting her removed from assets.

    Better idea to get a divorce lawyer NOW and keep the ball rolling.

    A woman like this will either end up killing you or getting you put in jail. Next time she might be sober enough that she’ll be the one calling 911 and telling them all the horrible things you did to her (which will all come as a surprise to you)

  7. Forty-six? She’s ONLY FORTY-SIX? I like women who like guns but I’d feel like a cradle-robber.

  8. I use the same clearing method.

    To show clear I just hold my pistol in the and pop em off till the slide locks back.

    Easy to see ots clear then. Lol

  9. All ballistic considerations aside, doesn’t the removal of a name from a joint account usually require that person’s consent, or a death certificate, or something like that?

    • Dave, it may depend on your state, or how you opened the account. Here in Ohio, I’ve been on and off as a signatory on accounts (business) without any paperwork on my part. I do have to sign and show I’D to get added each time, but nothing to be removed. Oh, and I’m not dead, so….

    • It depends on the financial institution policy, account type and state law. General rule on personal accounts is it takes two to remove a name but either can close a joint account. Business accounts typically require only one person but you will tend to need minutes from a meeting naming updated signers etc…

  10. if i was a betting man, id say this probably happened out near gorst, not port orchard. those folks are weird.

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