[h/t Johannes Paulsen]
Some pigs are more equal than others, it would seem.
You said this was a ugly sweater contest, Damm you Fritz!
What do you mean you don’t like my camouflage?? It’s made by Under Armor and I bought it at Cabela’s!
Damn it! We say Merry Christmas-not happy holidays!
Stick ’em up!!
Oh, wait. Le’ me try that again.
Stick ’em up!!
Oh, wait. Le’ me try that again.
The annual leprechaun’s Christmas dinner always gets uncomfortable after Uncle Patrick gets some Jameson in him.
Does this holster make my ass look big?
Don’t you ever, ever talk about snitzle that way!
This comment is why TTAG needs to have stars or up/down voting. This is just awesome as in, coffee spraying on keyboard awesome. Best caption suggestion of the bunch.
Revolver, schnapps and dumplings (maybe too many?)–safe mix?
The Schmidt nonuplets settle their differences like men!
The Politburo reconvenes one last time.
“They keep dying on me”
Famous Ronald Regan quote…
YOUR GHILLIE SUIT NEES WORK!
Don’t you guys ever learn? You wear black hats, you lose.
Comrades, I think Americans call this “deer camping”
I have been so beiredewld in the past but now it all makes sense!
I’m impressed! You’ve managed the almost impossible.
Damn Putan I’m voting for Trump whats Russia got to lose!
Well, let me tell you something, Herr Fashion-meister!
Your Frau knitted this sweater for me!
One word. “PROST!”
Twelve schnitzengrubers will knock you out!
Are you not from Havana?
Pull my finger tovarishch.
NOBODY is going to make me wear orange. That’s final!
Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev hosts an American Western themed Party party. “I saw you deal from the bottom comrade, now draw!”
“my dog has no nose…”
“alles klar? oder was?”
Johnny summed it up right here.
“this IS the reunion!”
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say…
I believe you could only get the big yellow onions because or the war.
….and I was heading over to Shelbyville to get my shoe fixed, wingtips they were, with onion on my belt, cause that was the style at the time…
“On the contrary, comrade Malenkov ! Three bottles of vodka improves my accuracy !
Don’t make me prove it !”
And then I told that witch, “I don’t give a damn about your candy house, me and my sister Gretel are outta here. You have a problem? Take it up with my friend Mr Sam Colt.”
You think that’s bad ass??
You ain’t going fucking believe this man,
Listen up chuckle heads, really this is, this is no bullshit man.
One time me and this political commissar we had,he was a FNG, anyway,
we were shooting Fascists in the Ukraine, when out of nowhere……. Hey you shit birds aren’t even listing to me.
Hey you bunch of Pogs, you Remington Raiders.
The Sopranos do October fest.
And you drink this stuff and the next thing you know, plants start growing out of your head!
So, I got a pink holster. You got a problem with that comrade?
The funding for Bohemian Grove ain’t what it used to be.
Ha! I was going to say, looks like Groupon weekend at the Bohemian Grove.
Another year still no dates for Thanksgiving dinner.
“So when I saw what was happening I was all like ‘PewPewPew’.”
In Soviet Union empty bottle shoots gun!……
No, Max! The 2715th annual meeting of the ancient and honorable druidic rod and gun club will NOT be considering your proposal to dance naked around a bonfire after dinner!
Well for a man who don’t go heeled, you run your mouth pretty reckless don’t ya?
Don’t drink your beer so fast or you won’t be able to shoot with us later!
Revolver Ocelot’s adoptive father lectures his friends on the finer points of the Single-Action Army.
“Comrade Tito, you can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can get with a kind word alone. Richard Nixon himself told me this. Didn’t he give you a hawg leg, too?”
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say “ni” at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
Now, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, with…a herring!
Give thanks, old fat white guys!
“I dare you to make fun of my ugly sweater comrade, I dare you.”
It’s frickin’ cold outside, Mr. Bigglesworth. Why are we eating out here again?
Cigar thief!! Give it back!!
In Soviet Russia, BBQ gun wears you!
“that is something up with which i will not put!”
“she also was saying that what you said, hahaha!”
Pass the Jaegermeister here, Fritz, ten get more ammo from the bunker.
You take that back Comrade Kalashnikov! We Russians will never adopt automatics! This reliable Revolver will outlast any hare-brained automatic you come up with! Not even the Africans or the Middle Easterners would use your trash…
You were supposed to bring the girls!! Now it is just us men here at the sausage fest!
I say it’s broccoli and I say to hell with it!
Burr! I can see the trees but not the forest. Where are the fraulein to warm them up?
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