World’s Longest NERF Gun [VIDEO]

When the anti-gunners’ arguments fail, they frequently go all ad hominem. Gun rights advocates, they claim, are compensating for their small penis size. Without getting into details about my own wedding tackle, I know a couple of firearms enthusiasts who are hung like a horse. Equally, as I’ve said here before, it’s a man’s testicle size that determines his character, not the length of his penis. I won’t trouble you with my own cubic centimeter count. And I haven’t taken calipers to any of my gun-toting friends’ testicles. Suffice it to say . . .

it’s not the pro-gun side that’s obsessed with junk. It’s the antis. (Especially considering the fact that at least 30 percent of gun owners don’t have a penis.) You could say something about projection or suppressed homosexuality, but I couldn’t possibly comment.

I will, however, say this about that: knowing how to keep and bear and shoot arms safely and effectively should be a part of every man’s (and woman’s) education. Taking responsibility for your own safety and the safety of those around you helps makes a man a menschLook it up.


  1. avatar Chris. says:

    —I haven’t taken calipers to any of my gun-toting friends’ testicles.—

    That could be fun if you’re into that though… Just negotiate a safeword first.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        MattV2099’s famous 600 round GLOCK brand GLOCK magazine:

        Now *THAT* was expensive!

        1. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:


        2. avatar Fury says:

          Hmmm, had no idea that was an approved rest position for the left hand while firing…

  2. avatar Gunr says:

    My ex wife said that I had probably come from royalty! She was always saying: If I had another inch, I’d be a king, and if I had an inch less, I’d be a queen!

    1. avatar Rad Man says:

      I’ve always said I’m hung like a soup can. My wife never misses the opportunity to remind folks it’s condensed soup.

      1. avatar TheBear says:

        I bet everyone in the trailer park thinks that is hilarious.

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          Rad’s one of those trailer-park residents with a law degree…

        2. avatar Rad Man says:

          Yup. King of the dipshits.

        3. avatar JR_in_NC says:

          Farmer Ted, is that you?

        4. avatar Rad Man says:

          Fresh breath is a priority in my life, JR.

        5. avatar JR_in_NC says:

          Just watch that roll in your pocket, man.

  3. avatar Chris. says:

    Ok, now that I’ve watched the video — will it shoot?

    1. avatar Scrubula says:

      It would get stuck after the first 4 or so.

      Still it makes one think about the barrel harmonics of real guns and how a 40″ barrel would not be extremely accurate.

      1. avatar Elliott says:

        Fullbore, Palma & F-Class shooters do alright with 32″ barrels or longer. If all the powder is burnt, there’s less muzzle blast and less turbulence at the crown. I know a 32″ isn’t that uncommon on the Fullbore line shooting only 308, I’d guess a 160gr 6.5mm magnum in F-Open or 1k BR, with a heavier bullet, smaller diameter and bigger case could do well with maybe even a 35″, but that probably creates some machining and stress problems.

  4. avatar Bobing says:

    Do the ladies like a big floppy gun? Just askin’.

  5. avatar Ralph says:

    You could say something about . . . suppressed homosexuality

    Suppressed? Don’t they need a tax stamp for that?

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Would that be a “pole” tax?

      1. avatar Sammy^ says:


      2. avatar jwm says:

        Thank jeebus for the “no liquid refreshment within 10 feet of the computer” rule.

  6. For it to be a “nerf gun” wouldn’t have to actually be able to shoot?

  7. avatar BDub says:

    I refuse, REFUSE, I say!, to choose between Hickok45 and Colion Noir!!! Just sayin’.

  8. avatar Bob Wall says:

    From “The Glitter Dome,” by Joseph Wambaugh:

    … the Ferret cried to Tuna Can Tommy, “Now I know how you got your nickname!”

    “What nickname? I always sign the picture ‘Tommy’.”

    “Do they call me that, that’s mean… I can’t help the way I’m built!”

    “My God!” the Weasel cried, “Your putz, it’s nearly three inches in diameter!”

    But alas, it was less than two inches in length. It was shaped exactly like a tuna can.”

  9. avatar MrApple says:

    I have a sneaky feeling that this is the only female extension that this guy is going to ever see.

    1. avatar Elliott says:

      Mind explaining that one? I’ve been married just 3 years but I feel that’s long enough to know that there ain’t any extensions down there.

  10. avatar Pete says:

    Say what you will, I like long pipes. I don’t like too much girth though; those bull-barrel Smiths in “Predestination” look silly to me.

  11. avatar gsnyder says:

    The genitalia comment from an anti is the one instant comment which closes my ears and mind and I typically walk away.

  12. avatar GRW says:

    Guys if an anti questions your manhood simply offer to “whip it out”. If anyone questions it you meant your gun. Them make a loose pistol whip motion and wink at them. Psychological advantage you.

    Don’t actually whip either out though, bad practice and the weak of constitution antis will have SWAT there in minutes.

  13. avatar Galtha58 says:

    WOW this one went off the tracks right away. Too much ammunition in the opening statements I suppose. When the Antis start making comments about the size of someones genitals you know they are out of valid arguments and grasping at straws. Or, in this case, fire hoses. 😉 Just be careful they don’t grab yours. Seriously though, their penis compensation and Ammosexual remarks are so lame. They really need to hire someone to get them some new material.

  14. avatar Elliott says:

    First paragraph may be the most awkwardly written literature I have encountered. Seriously, just wtf…

  15. avatar Yngvar says:

    All for my buddies in #GamerGate!
    But, Nerf??

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