Senator Ted Cruz Makes Bacon with a Machine Gun. Or Does He?

Hillary Clinton has dropped some TV spots promoting her candidacy for President of the United States. Hillary Clinton Tells Her Late Mother’s Heartbreaking Story in First TV Campaign Ads pronounces. What’s that 80’s expression? Gag me with a spoon. Meanwhile, Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz has released the above video Making Machine Gun Bacon with Ted Cruz. Nice contrast, ballsy move, coulda used a hat tip to FPSRussia, but . . .

the ace debater never goes full auto.

As you expect, the comments underneath the video range from harsh to whatever’s exponentially greater than harsh. “You’re a FUCKING IDIOT, Ted Cruz,” Tom Hanson opines. That’s just the pithy tip of vitriolic iceberg. And it’s early days.

That said, there are a few attaboys. And others (like your correspondent) are more concerned about the cooking technique: “Probably takes a week to get all the bacon grease off your gun after doing that,” 0mn1vore comments. “and the salt… Salt is really bad for metal, probably makes actual gun owners cringe just watching this.” Strangely, is firmly in that camp.

Though Cruz’s machine gun strategy makes sense for his campaign, it seems like a poor strategy for cooking bacon. The tasty grease is wasted, and you can only cook one strip at a time.

You can ding Cruz for the firearms nomenclature, but Cruz is 100 percent pro-gun and not afraid to show it. My kinda guy.


  1. avatar Sanchanim says:

    It had me laughing.
    Ok it is goofy, and yes not the best way to make bacon but….

    The comments from the left trolls are fast and furious. I bet CNN will do an expose on it tonight, oh the horror!

    And how much did the press coverage cost good old Ted? The cost of Ammo and some bacon!

    If that is the kind of fiscal thinking he will bring to the white house, let us ponder that for a moment….

    1. avatar Hotel California says:

      but ask yourself how much did this goofy stunt cost his party? First his Dr. Seuss foolishness and now his Bacon 101 class….it’s got to make you wonder what kind of mentality he’s trying to appeal to.

  2. avatar Davis Thompson says:

    Maybe Cruz understands something. That bacon grease works better than Froglube.

  3. Full auto would have cooked it faster, and I believe those are legal in texas. Nice cooking though, I may want to try it one day. 🙂

    1. avatar Stinkeye says:

      What’s the current NFA wait time? The election might’ve been over before Ted could buy a full-auto rifle…

      1. avatar WedelJ says:

        He’s a State Senator, so he could probably get fast tracked. Or get the ATF to approve him to purchase a new machine gun.

  4. avatar Red In Texas says:

    Hmmmm…may have to wrap several strips around one of my suppressors, and do a mag dump. Bet I could get 6 strips around my Specwar. 🙂

  5. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    That’s the most ridiculous narrow minded insensitive goof-ball thing I have seen a politician do since Bill and Monica.
    He has my vote!!

    Just kidding about everything….except the vote.

  6. avatar Gunr says:

    Now that is what I call “Makin Beacon”
    Reminds me of the dude that does the beer commercials, (Stay thirsty my friend).
    He said, ” I don’t always talk to vegans, but when I do, it’s with a mouth full of beacon”

  7. avatar Curtis in IL says:

    I prefer the ad from the Congressional candidate (I forget – some state south of the Mason-Dixon line) who shot up a printed copy of Obamacare with a rifle.

    Not only are there better ways to make breakfast, there are better ways to use firearms in political ads.

    1. avatar B says:

      That was Manchin from West Virginia. Of Manchin-Toomey fame. Of eff my coal constituents and the 2nd amendment. You probably knew that though.

      1. avatar Curtis in IL says:

        Manchin wasn’t the only one to pull that stunt.

  8. avatar Removed_californian says:

    I wonder what kind of support he would garner if he started talk of removing/heavily modifying NFA law.

    A guy can dream can’t he?

  9. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    WINNER! Ya’ got my vote…

  10. avatar BLAMMO says:

    Yeah, we know – just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

    And I wouldn’t. Not with one of my guns.

    But I’m glad somebody did.

  11. avatar Swarf says:

    Man, that guy has a punchable face.

    1. avatar Ross says:

      But you would only punch him after he unloaded and put down the gun, he’s always had my vote.

    2. avatar Cliff H says:

      Swarf, I notice there’s no photo of you in the icon next to your posts. Just sayin’.

      1. avatar Lotek says:

        Off topic but how do I personalize my avatar. No officer it’s not a full auto weapon it’s a bacon cooker!

        1. avatar Danny Griffin says:

          how do I personalize my avatar

  12. avatar Mk10108 says:

    Now pack his gnat in the big house and display his CCW. 2A now and forever, forever Amen.

  13. avatar Danny Griffin says:

    I was wondering how long it would take TTAG to put this up.

  14. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    I’m Jonathan – Houston, and I approve this ad.

  15. avatar Cliff H says:

    For his next ad he needs to get out in a helicopter with Nick and bag some on the hoof, so to speak.

  16. avatar Galtha58 says:

    Pretty cheap way to make a political ad but very expensive way to cook bacon. Just sayin. Cool ad though.

  17. avatar JR Pollock says:

    Shoulda used a stainless steel barrel for easier clean up..

  18. avatar Matt in TX says:

    Silly but I still want to vote for him.

  19. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    And he continues to have my vote.
    Way to go Ted!

  20. avatar Grindstone says:

    Mmmm, smells like pander in the morning

    1. avatar MikeD101 says:

      100% correct. How people don’t instantly recognize this kind of blatant pandering is completely beyond me.

      1. avatar Yellow Devil says:

        Wait, politicians are supposed to pander?

        1. avatar Ryan Givens says:

          Some level of pandering is to be expected from politicians, but when it’s condescending, then you should worry. Cruz graduated from Princeton and Harvard Law and was a loyal, big government Bushie long before he cynically sought to surf the Tea Party wave.

  21. avatar Elliott says:

    “Mmmm tastes like ballistol! Now getting subtle notes of lead styphnate, delicious.”

  22. avatar BDub says:

    I’d be more impressed if he had a plan to change the fact that only bacon gets to have machine-guns.

  23. avatar Raul Ybarra says:

    Well, of course he didn’t go full auto. Why waste ammo or risk scorching your bacon? 😀

  24. avatar jsj says:

    If this doesn’t get Chris Christie to start liking guns, nothing will.

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