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55 Responses to Weekend Photo Caption Contest

  1. If the NRA weren’t so powerful, this man would only be beating us to death. Sorry honey, Obama tried.
    But now this gun is going to kill us, and that man behind it is powerless to stop it.

  2. Bowler hats! always Bowler hats, Christ Edwin, can’t you find anything to wear other than those stupid looking Bowler hats!

    • The full SNL ‘Weekend Update’ quote:

      “Jane, you ignorant slut. My personality profile is not at issue here, any more than is your inability to achieve orgasm.”

  3. Whaddaya mean I’m going to end my career playing an old schmuck in “Soylent Green?” Why, I oughtta plug both of you right now!

  4. “And for better or for worse, I’m a reasoner.

    So I didn’t buy a gun, even though my family members insisted that I arm myself while living in a faraway land with a much higher violent crime rate than my hometown. Instead, I slept with a softball bat beside my bed. I figured, I might accidentally shoot a loved one with a gun but if an intruder is physically close enough to me that I can bludgeon them with a softball bat, then that’s their own fault.

    Yes, I see the flaws in that plan, too.”

  5. I just gotta know…… did you fire five or six times?

    Or

    I’m from the press, is that a Glock brand Glock?

  6. Dapper dude “It’s ok fella – I’ll just give you a shot and you’ll be fine”
    Lady “Are you sure you’re a doctor?!”

  7. You got it all wrong, see. I said, “he needs a chest protector.” I didn’t tell you, Jane, to get a breast protector.

  8. “He knows it is not your fault, Al. It is that evil gun your holding that made you do it. Put it down and we can go vote for Hillary together.”

  9. But Senator Feinstein told us that if no one else was armed you would just drop your gun and leave. It’s common sense!

    • “You can’t shoot us now, I’ve pee’d myself and Bob has pooped in his pants. The rules say you now have to leave us alone!”

      “Naw see, I know the rules too, one of you has to vomit, see? And not that little spit up in your mouth vomit, see. I want full projectile vomit, see? Or I’ll plug you both and your little dog too” (Opps different movie)

  10. He’s got Glaubners Disease Ma’m. I need to give him a shot to cure it. Now, this is going to sting a little bit…….

  11. “Would you shoot him already , I can’t hold him here much longer”.
    ” I’m trying , see , but the trigger on this double action revolver is 20 pounds “.

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