New Yorker writer Andy Borowitz is tired. He’s too tired to fact-check studies that “prove” that gun ownership is a bad, bad thing for both individuals and society at large. Too tired to read TTAG’s analysis of the faulty methodology required to produce these foregone conclusion. And he’s tired of people who dare question this “settled science” on gun control. So he wrote this semi-moronic – sorry semi-ironic “news satire” instead . . .
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Many Americans are tired of explaining things to idiots, particularly when the things in question are so painfully obvious, a new poll indicates.
According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, while millions have been vexed for some time by their failure to explain incredibly basic information to dolts, that frustration has now reached a breaking point.
Of the many obvious things that people are sick and tired of trying to get through the skulls of stupid people, the fact that climate change will cause catastrophic habitat destruction and devastating extinctions tops the list, with a majority saying that they will no longer bother trying to explain this to cretins.
Coming in a close second, statistical proof that gun control has reduced gun deaths in countries around the world is something that a significant number of those polled have given up attempting to break down for morons.
Someone needs to tell the Harvard University magna cum laude graduate that willful ignorance is not a badge of honor (which is pretty ironic, if you think about it). And while we’re doing the humor thing, did Borowitz break his nose from a fight over politics or in a brown-nosing episode gone horribly wrong? Just wonderin’ . . .