Protect Yourself From Sexual Assault – With a Pen!

“Surveillance video helped Stamford police track down a man they say sexually assaulted a woman in an elevator recently,” reports. “A self-defense expert says about 30-percent of his students turned to him for lessons after they were victimized. Renshi Herbie Bagwell of Bagwell Academy in Milford [CT] says there are a few simple, easy tactics to keep in mind when you’re walking to or from your car, or an elevator in a parking garage or a building. He says one of the most important tools you should be armed with is a pen.” That’s pistol. Armed with a pistol. A simple typo, surely. Oh wait. Connecticut. The Constitution State. Tactical pen (with built-in DNA catch crown) it is, then. Got one? [h/t Pascal]


  1. avatar styrgwillidar says:

    You don’t want one of those evil black tactical pens (it will be used against you with claims you were looking for an excuse to use it on someone)- You want one of these:

    Pink with little hearts on it

    1. avatar Art out West says:

      Knives are great too. At work, I can’t carry a gun, but knives are allowed. Therefore, I’ve always got a good one with me. I try to carry a knife at all times, as a back up/another option to my EDC gun, and as a useful tool.

      1. avatar Tim Going says:

        I think that in the situation above, in an elevator, a knife would be a better choice for defense. Elevators are cramped quarters for sure…

  2. avatar JohnF says:

    The pen is mightier than the sword!

    Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  3. avatar Mk10108 says:

    Filed under how one makes coin. After your attacked, I will show how to defend oneself WITHOUT the most cost effect tool designed by man. Training includes elective representives instruction on puking, wetting oneself, screaming and all important scratching to preserve DNA samples for the almost definitely, possible maybe the attacker DNA is in a database somewhere.

    The methods taught in no way guarantee surviving an attack and we do not take responsibility for your sucess after the course. And considering your elected representatives failure to pass lawful self defense legislation, refunds are not offered.

  4. avatar Mack Bolan says:

    Pokey/Jaby with a pen? No thanks!

    I’ll stick with Shooty and Stabby/Slicey as my force options. When the perp is leaking DNA, collection really shouldn’t be an issue.

    1. avatar Tim Going says:

      Haha. Maybe you should get some R.I.P 9mm rounds. Maybe thats what the trocar’s are really good for, catching DNA!

  5. avatar NinjaTED says:

    It’s easy to make fun of this, but it should also be remembered that most of us can’t have a pistol ay every moment of the day. Going for traffic court? Probably can’t bring your gat. Your kid’s school play? No heater for you. In such instances, improvised weapons, like pens, flashlights, and the like are your friends, and should be trained with as you would your firearm. They’re not the better option, but sometimes they’re the only option.

    1. avatar Ragnarredbeard says:

      Unless the school has metal detectors or pat downs, concealed is concealed. And my kid’s life is worth just a little bit more than a “tactical” pen.

    2. avatar MeRp says:

      Anywhere a tactical pen is an option, this: is probably also an option… and a better one in most cases.

      1. avatar Daily Beatings says:

        Damn, that’s some John Steed action on steroids.

  6. avatar Shire-man says:

    Title 53 Crimes
    Chapter 943 Offenses Against Public Peace and Safety
    Sec. 53-206. Carrying of dangerous weapons prohibited. (a) Any person who carries upon his or her person any BB. gun, blackjack, metal or brass knuckles, or any dirk knife, or any switch knife, or any knife having an automatic spring release device by which a blade is released from the handle, having a blade of over one and one-half inches in length, or stiletto, or any knife the edged portion of the blade of which is four inches or more in length, any police baton or nightstick, or any martial arts weapon or electronic defense weapon, as defined in section 53a-3, or any other dangerous or deadly weapon or instrument, shall be fined not more than five hundred dollars or imprisoned not more than three years or both. Whenever any person is found guilty of a violation of this section, any weapon or other instrument within the provisions of this section, found upon the body of such person, shall be forfeited to the municipality wherein such person was apprehended, notwithstanding any failure of the judgment of conviction to expressly impose such forfeiture.

    “Tactical pen” is too close to kubaton is martial arts weapon.
    I’m sure if a prosecutor wanted to he could argue your Bic is a martial arts weapon.

    Gotta love legalese hellholes. Oops, I mean loopholes. Pissing or puking on your attacker is probably a biological attack in CT. Best to just lay there and think of Malloy or Blumenthal until it’s over with.

  7. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    How is it wielding a pen in self defense like some kind of f*cking ninja plausible, yet using a gun is not?

    Oh, right, statist gotta state. I forgot.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      That’s the best question I have seen posed in quite a while.

      1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

        Frankly, the vomiting on yourself idea seems more doable…

        1. avatar Pieslapper says:

          Nah, shoot him in the nads with something in .45 cal, it’ll stop the attack and kill his soul.

  8. avatar dan543 says:

    What? No wasp spray? Some expert.

  9. avatar John L. says:

    Tactical black fountain pen.

  10. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

    Unfortunately, many martial arts people have probably never been in an actual street fight or hand-to-hand fight. Things don’t go down as smoothly as they do in the dojo.

    When most women get that close to a man, and they’re not holding a lethal weapon, they’ve already lost most all advantages they might have had in a confrontation. When the situation goes hand-to-hand, the larger, stronger man now has most of the advantages.

    This is why guns work. You don’t need to smell what your attacker had for lunch to take care of business.

    1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      So true.

      Funny story, to your point, when I was younger I ended up wrestling over a chair with a buddy of mine. It was friendly enough. Well, he had 25lbs on me and was an experienced wrestler.

      He took me to my back and pinned my shoulders, as a wrestler might do. This exposed his neck for a guillotine choke, which I performed.

      He yelled, “I have you pinned!”

      I replied, “So what?” And then proceeded to gator roll on this head and neck, which cause the wrestling match to end quickly. He was at my mercy.

      Bottom line, too much training and not enough real deal could be your downfall.

    2. avatar Another Robert says:

      Interesting point–Maybe it’s just me, but I noticed in that hapkido-with-umbrella vids that a lot of those moves seem to rely on the attacker co-operating with the defender.

  11. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    Tactical pen? Na… I think I’ll hold out for the ‘tactical typewriter’.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      That would have been awesome if the very last picture showed a woman holding up a Desert Eagle or .500 S&W.

      Maybe they could do another one and call it, ‘What heterosexual women carry for protection.’

    2. avatar ACP_arms says:

      In picture #6 miss love and rose knuckles might have a problem with the law if she
      get’s caught with them. *Some states out law the possession brass-knuckles.

      *Check your state and local law’s.

      1. avatar ACP_arms says:

        “…*Some states out law the possession of brass-knuckles…”

      2. avatar Yngvar says:

        I see that the female reporter in the video have armed herself with finger fitted knuckledusters. The responsible husband would have bought her a ring with a larger, and edgier, diamond. /joke

  12. avatar IdahoPete says:

    Hey, go with the Uzi Tactical Pen! It has a hidden handcuff key so you can escape after the CT cops arrest you for “creating a hostile work environment” for that poor mugger/rapist. Warning: you could put someone’s eye out!

  13. avatar knightofbob says:

    I actually do have a “tactical” pen, but it’s pretty far down on the list of things in my pocket I’d use as a weapon. I’d probably grab my keys first.

    I’d gotten tired of plastic pens breaking or melting in forest fires and prescribed burns, I was looking for a souvenir after my visit to the NRA museum, there was a display of S&W pens by the register, solved two problems at once.

  14. avatar Mae West says:

    I’m pretty sure Assault/Attack oens are lllegal. /sarc

  15. avatar Pascal says:

    The problem with the above news article and other similar one that promote a pen or even mace, is they do nothing unless you have situational awareness and presence of mind of what you are going to do. In many cases, that pen sitting in your purse is useless. If you have a deer in headlights moment because you are not prepared, the pen is useless.

    All of this leads to a false sense of security just like gun free zones. I hate when local PDs have a 1 hour self defense class and people believe that is all they need and the local media then pumps up that those people are now prepared for anything.

    1. avatar Matt says:

      Hopefully people’s minds will start changing in CT. The local news seems to be running more stories lately about attacks on people in upscale or wealthy areas.

  16. avatar JWM says:

    Why is that horrid woman attacking that fellow?

    1. avatar Tyler from AR says:

      This comment wins for today haha. This gave me a good chuckle.

  17. avatar Johannes Paulsen says:

    I do not doubt that someone, who has the right mindset, who has a bit of physical strength, who knows a little bit about fighting, and who has a sheer determination to live can wreak quite a bit of damage fighting with just a pen.

    I also think that, if you want to play the odds, the above is unlikely to be found in someone who gets squeamish about firearms. (Besides, if you knew you were going to be in an unavoidable fight for your life today, would you rather bring a pen or a pistol??!?)

    1. avatar TX Gungal says:

      ” who has the right mindset,” It all starts with a resolve most of all! The is weapon is whatever you have on hand.
      When I was in first grade, walking home from school by myself since my two older brothers, who were suppose to walk with me had ditched me in favor of getting home faster to watch cartoons. Two older boys stopped, grabbed me and said “we’re going to pull your panties down”, one holding my arms behind me, other in front of me, my weapon was a kick to one in front’s kneecap with heavy leather oxford shoe, he dropped like a rock, crying like a baby, other kid had let go and was running away from me in opposite direction of my house. I beat feet as fast as I could and when I got home was too embarrassed/ashamed to tell anyone, being the nice Catholic School girl that I was and knew they did not go to my school cause were not wearing school uniform. Never saw them again and never forgot the lesson of do whatever you have to do with whatever you have available. I am fortunate to have resolve of self protection hard wired into my DNA and grateful for modern weapons available today.

  18. avatar Ralph says:

    I don’t want to get into a scrum with a BG and stab him with a pen. Besides, an Airweight is a better contact weapon.

  19. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Well of course a pen is great…I saw John Cusack kill his buddy Benny Urquidez(?) in Grosse Point Blank with one!

  20. A bullet to the gut or lower would do more than a pen would.

  21. avatar Excedrine says:

    It never hurts to know how to use improvised weapons in case you’re caught unawares. But improvised weapons should be your last resort.

    After your sidearm runs dry.

  22. avatar dsreno says:

    Isn’t this in the same spirit as our solution? When we suggest self defense, it gets dismissed as “victim blaming.”

  23. avatar Buffalo_Bob says:

    Anything that can be used as a weapon is better than nothing, it seems like this pen would only piss off the guy and ensure that you would only get hurt more, or killed. Then again he may kill you anyhow, so Im not saying you should’nt fight, but if/when you strike back it needs to be a significant enough counter assault that will at the very least allow you time to escape if you cannot render him incapacitated. From a womans standpoint, you have nails, attack the eyes, or there is this; it only takes 8 lbs of pressure to rip the average humans ear OFF, so using violence of action and a little surprise, get ahold of an ear and savagely rip that bastard off.. id imagine that would gain you enough time to either flee, or further your counter attack if need be. Im no expert, but it seems like a good last ditch attempt in some cases

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