Florida Considers Bear Hunts

It’s a little embarrassing for animal right activists: big black bears are brutalizing fearful Floridians. The attacks – and the fear of attacks – has proven too much to bear for beleaguered residents. The scared suburbanites now want the Powers That Be to authorize bear hunts. In a state with strong support for the right to bear arms, the right to bear arms against bears should cause barely a ripple. Needless to say, the Human Society consider the idea inhumane. They maintain that a bear hunt is unbearable – at least for the bears. But it looks like they’re bearing the burden of proof. As for how hunters would hunt black bears, no details yet. Bear with us. [h/t NEIOWA]


  1. avatar fueled_by_cheetah_blood says:

    Grizzly puns, bear-y bad. Please stop, for the cubs.

    1. avatar Rokurota says:

      Agreed. Bruins the story and pandas to the lowest common denominator.

      1. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

        Now that’s a bear faced lie.

        1. avatar Slicer87 says:

          The Country Bears at WDW still has more Bear puns.

        2. avatar Geoff PR says:

          “There was…

          Blood on the saddle…

          Blood on the ground…

          And Great. Big. Puuhhdles…

          Of blood all around…”

    2. avatar tmm says:

      Don’t deny The Truth About Alliteration

  2. avatar George in NC says:

    RF that fellow who told you that you are funny? He was lying.

    1. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

      I’m willing to cut RF some slack, this is after all, his site. And what would we do with our time if he decided to discontinue (like that’s ever gonna happen, barring a horrific incident).
      I would encourage that puns don’t take the place of proofreading. (Is that the Human Society or the Humane Society?)

  3. avatar jwm says:

    Why you gotta hunt just the black bears? Wait til Al and Jessie hear about this.

    1. avatar IAB2 says:

      These are equal opportunity, multi-culti bears. No offense intended.

    2. avatar LarryinTX says:

      What, you think they want you to hunt all things black?

  4. avatar Steve says:

    They’re a menace around here. There was one on the beach earlier this year

    1. avatar GuyFromV says:

      I’m not touching this one.

    2. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      Are you sure it wasn’t just a bald hairy backed Canadian in a speedo?

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        You know, I could have at least closed this week out without that image burned in my brain…

  5. avatar What about Bob says:

    The Bear’s season ended weeks ago. Sadly the Packer’s ended theirs tonight.

    1. avatar AllAmerican says:

      Right!? Greenbay dominated all game long then like just quit playing in the last five minuets and let those Sea Cows win. Hope the patriots wreck that mouthy ass team in the Super Bowl.

  6. avatar Frank Masotti says:

    Well TTAG did get all the puns in 🙂

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      The TTAG chimps will milk this thread a while longer…

      1. avatar archangel187 says:

        You’ll just have to grin and bear it.

      2. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

        Geoff would you like us to stop monkeying around? I think this koala-fies as good clean pun. Puns are fun, if you let yourself, you’ll go ape.

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          You’re killing me, Grizz…


          Dirk would like Shannon to grin and bare it…

        2. avatar cmeat says:

          don’t bruin it for me. she”s the gorilla my dreams.

  7. avatar Matt in Maine says:

    The humane society just tried to pull that hogwash in Maine. It’s amazing how dishonest they are. They go to these states and pour in millions of dollars and create problems where there weren’t problems before. Mass is experiencing the consequences of their agenda with bears now having interactions in the outskirts of Boston metro. Now where are they? They’ve gone to the next state and leave the last one to fix the mess they created.

  8. avatar DV says:

    Drink a beer, get bear-naked and go bear hunting! Woo florida!

  9. avatar Steve says:

    So bear down for bear hunting ;P Luckily I’ve never been denied the lovely chance to get me some tasty bear meat 🙂

  10. avatar Peter says:

    The problem is that urban liberals always outnumber the suburban victims.
    It’s easy to be against a bear hunt when your only exposure is an occasional trip to the zoo.
    Perhaps some of the bears could be turned loose in urban parks, this might change a few minds.

  11. avatar LarryinTX says:

    “As for how hunters would hunt black bears, no details yet.”

    They would be bearing arms, in fact loaded for bear.

  12. avatar Summer says:

    I want to go on a bear hunt. No sarcasm there. Just a basic statement.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      No sarcasm in this reply –

      Sometimes you hunt bear.

      Sometimes bear hunt *you*.

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