John Pawlak (courtesy /21ccunmla.pbworks.com)

“I’ve been accused of being rude and insulting to the NRA, unwilling to accept their arguments as to why it makes good sense to carry defensive firearms in public,” John Pawlak writes at lamonitor.com. “Well, this will shock my target audience dead center, but I now admit that the NRA was right and I was wrong! I had thought their arguments were all hollow points, but I’ve come around to understanding the wisdom of these straight shooters.” Hollow points. Geddit? Mr. Pawlak fancies himself a gun control advocate and a comedian. He’s looked-up the meaning of the term reductio ad absurdum and he’s ready to brandish his sterling wit. Here we go . . .

Of course, being prepared for life’s everyday dangers can sometimes trip us up. The other day at the supermarket, an item scanned incorrectly. I explained that the price was wrong, but the clerk disagreed.

So I stood with arms akimbo, exposing my Ruger SR40 under my vest to “holster bolster” my argument. The clerk responded, casually pushing back his apron, showing a Beretta PX4 with extended clip and laser sight.

Suddenly, the man standing behind me, wearing a DPMS Tactical rifle with 30-round clip strapped over his shoulder, started complaining that the line was moving too slowly.

A grizzled grandmother wagged a 380 ACP at him, “Young man, you should learn to be more patient!”

The bagger chimed in, tapping his ported barrel Taurus 357 against his chest and telling everyone to shut up!

Then the store manager sauntered over, fingering the trigger on his military surplus Soviet ROKS-2 flamethrower, and politely asked everyone to calm down.

As shoppers from the other lines began to unclick their safeties, it looked like things would go off half-cocked, but then I shouted, “1871! Go NRA!” and the crowd erupted in a salvo of cheers! Admittedly, we did a bit of damage to the ceiling during our communal “jump up and down and wave your firearms around and shoot in the air” fest, but it was all in good clean and safe fun.

You know, I feel more intelligent already!

Now, where’s my TEC-9 semiautomatic? I need to go buy some milk.

True words are spoken here in jest. Pawlak’s sarcasm reveals a commonly-held belief among gun control advocates that an armed society is the exact opposite of a polite society. Like many, if not most antis, he reckons guns unleash primitive, uncivilized urges that lead to violent confrontation, injury and death. Despite the fact that soaring rates of concealed carry has not done so throughout the nation.

All of which tells us that Pawlak probably has very little emotional self-control. The psychological term is “projection.” Pawlak’s fantasy is populated by an entire cast of Pawlaks; [comedically] unstable men and women misuse Americans’ natural, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.

Those of us on the other side of the issue – logically and emotionally – shake our heads at a simple fact: anyone who writes an extended rant about guns who can’t be bothered to fact-check the nomenclature isn’t to be trusted with facts generally. Or, in this case, so-called humor.

[h/t JWL]

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70 Responses to OMG! Guns! GUNS! OMG!

    • Indeed, but there are many huddled masses that will bow down and worship that crown.
      God help us.

      • His sick little fantasy is entertaining and all, but it really says more about his own lack of self-control than it does about those of us who are armed and take responsibility for our own actions. By his logic, this should be a common scenario in every state with a significant population of concealed carriers. And yet, it’s not. Anywhere. He must be so disappointed…

        • Actually, he’s made a compelling argument for gun control and I’ve now decided I’m a believer. He should not be allowed to own a gun and if he has any now they need to be confiscated.

          Everyone else may carry on.

  1. Just another ignorant monster who wants women to be more vulnerable to sexual assault.

    Anyone who is against concealed carry is a pro-rape misogynist. He hates me and I hate him right back.

      • Indeed. She’s clueless enough that she might take the Evie Hudak approach to answering that point, too. Hopefully with similar end results.

    • @Juliesa: In-fricking-deed. If anything women need guns more than men do, yet which groupd disproportionately dislikes them the most?

      I’ll never understand that one, and I expect you won’t ever understand it, either.

        • I just wish there were more like you. The occasional ventilated thug–one who thought he had a defenseless victim–would have a salutary effect on the rest and we’d all be safer.

  2. A 30 round clip strapped to his shoulder? Can it be…..

    ITS THE SHOULDER THING THAT GOES UP

  3. Of course guns are an object of comedy to this guy. He’s never carried one, had training in their use, or experienced a circumstance of needing one for self defense. It would be funny were it not for the fact that millions of Americans share his ignorance.

    A population ignorant of the benefits of gun ownership will not long enact legislation to ban them.

  4. Oh wow. That checkout line example is EXACTLY the thing that MDA has now saved us from with the Target boycott. [sarcasm off]

    • I keep expecting this to happen at my local grocery store, and I’m always disappointed. It sounds like so much fun.

  5. Huh. Pretty cool, him using a keyboard and spelling all those names correctly.
    Next step, apply those skills to writing a resume! I suspect he’s going to need it.

  6. If the anti gunners realized how many concealed weapons were around them in public on a daily basis….well they would never leave their homes! And to think, they stand right next to us and we don’t shoot them nor do our weapons “go off” and shoot them and they don’t have a clue.

  7. It is absolutely absurd, they go to so many extremes with that, they break their own gun control law arguments. Firstly by revealing a concealed weapon, you’re breaking the brandishing law. At that point are the citizens criminals or lawful gun owners? If you cross a legal threshold, I say you are acting as a criminal and what follows is criminals don’t obey gun control laws. Pretty straight forward. Anything after that is just nonsense. Not to mention the fact that it completely ignores that the situation he describes is already what happens everyday in our broken society, minus the guns. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve experienced that same behavior while in line at a register, especially on the first of the month on welfare day. Maybe we should fix that aspect of our current society first – teaching respect and how to behave in public?

  8. After reading that quote from Pawlak, all I could hear was Forrest Gump quoting his Mama, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Reductio ad absurdum” comedy is rarely truly funny, and Pawlak’s statements prove that beyond any doubt. I would be kind of embarrassed for him, except some of his supporters are probably still sniggering over his remarks…yep, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

  9. Fun times, let’s try going a little further:

    Of course, being prepared for life’s everyday dangers can sometimes trip us up. The other day at the supermarket, an item scanned incorrectly. I explained that the price was wrong, but the clerk disagreed.

    So I stood with arms akimbo, exposing my large biceps to “bolster” my argument. The clerk responded, casually pushing back his apron, showing well-developed and defined pecks.

    Suddenly, the man standing behind me, in a tight ‘wife-beater’ shirt, started complaining that the line was moving too slowly.

    A grizzled grandmother wagged a cane at him, “Young man, you should learn to be more patient!”

    The bagger chimed in, tapping his fist against his chest and telling everyone to shut up!

    Then the store manager sauntered over, carrying an aluminum baseball bat, and politely asked everyone to calm down.

    As shoppers from the other lines began to look around for improvised weapons it looked like things would go off half-cocked, but then I shouted, “BLOOMBERG!” and the crowd erupted in a salvo of cheers! Admittedly, we did a bit of damage to the store during our communal “jump up and down and kick things over” fest, but it was all in good clean and safe fun.

    You know, I feel more intelligent already!

    Now, where’s my tire iron? I need to go buy some milk.

    • Love your take on this!
      Can I “steal” this to have in my “arsenal” against the anti-gun arguments?

    • It’s easier to believe written this way, and somehow funnier. It made me think of riots and civil disobedience which lead to the thought that among a group of ‘progressives’ such a riot actually could break out. When was the last time you heard of conservatives rioting?

  10. Wow. This man really thinks people suck. He’s not as anti-gun as he believes people are evil, stupid, base creatures.

    And the sheep listen.

  11. Totally absurd and ridiculous, EVERYONE knows the bag boys carry M&P’s and the checkout clerks carry 1911’s!

      • Nah, they are buying cheap knockoff brands (too bad Norinco can’t sell em any more) that jam a lot, instead of highly tuned expensive range queen guns that jam a lot.

  12. Its even scarier when you click on the link to find out these people are apparently “educators”….

    • Bill Ayres is an educator. As a category of people educators are not immune from stupid, evil, base creatures.

      • So is Ayers’ wife, Bernadine Dohrn. Apparently, if you were in the “Weather Underground” or a radical in the 1960’s, Major Universities will gladly hire you to teach. But not too surprising, since the whole U.S. Education System is rife with Communists, Socialists and extreme leftists like the Ayers’, Angela Davis, Kathy Boudin, Erika Huggins and many, many more unknown, but committed radicals. And one helped by Bill Ayers even got elected POTUS!

        Read this article from The Daily Beast, but wet your hair first so it doesn’t set itself on fire:

        http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/04/10/how-1960s-radicals-ended-up-teaching-your-kids.html

        • The interesting thing is old Bernadine was disbarred. It didn’t stop her from getting hired as a law professor.

  13. So we found ourselves an old clown who figured out how to work that internet thing. I’d give him $5 to recite this some more on the streets of Chicago, after dark. Oh how funny it’d be to have the old geezer run for that tacticool M&P he just joked about. Uneducated idiots are funny.

  14. After someone says “clip” my brain shuts down and everything they say after is irrelevant.

    • It shouldn’t though. We all have used terms incorrectly and were still able to make points with people either willing to overlook the mistake or not recognizing it. He has people listening. Nothing more frustrating than someone discounting an argument when the post used “their” instead of “they’re” or “clip” instead of “magazine”. Like the words invalidate the argument.

      This guy has an audience gobbling up his mush then going to their families, the streets, the classrooms and the Internet and re-spewing the same discriminatory mush with appropriate inaccuracies, exaggerations and falsehoods added to prove their point.

      Just a thought.

  15. Everything this guy says is true. Antis are so scared of guns because they think, “what would I do if I had a gun” and they think we are all as stupid as they are.

  16. It is always fascinating to me why these people think that just because you carry a weapon, everyday common annoyances are now elevated to the point where you are suddenly willing to terminate someone else’s life over a mundane issue like a parking spot or someone cutting in line at the grocery store. Would you normally kill such a person? If not, why do you think you would do so the second you have a gun? These kind of antis strike me as unbalanced individuals who are not very good at dealing with their own anger and emotions. It leads me to believe that when you cut in line in front of John Pawlak, he really does fantasize about killing you. Listen, I get as aggravated as the next man when people swerve into my lane when I’m driving, but I don’t fantasize about exterminating their life.

    • Not so much kill, it is that he believes that people carry guns solely to intimidate others to agree with them. Rather than engage in reasoned debate, better to shout your opponent down, or better yet persuade them with the barrel of a gun.

      • I never thought about that aspect. I’m from Wisconsin and all the antis were screaming at the top of their lungs after Walker signed our CCW bill that there would be shoot-outs at the OK Corral everywhere for parking spaces. Of course that never happened because most folks are decent folks, and they do not carry firearms to intimidate anyone. Thugs do that. I wonder if there is a part of the collectivist that thinks that everyone is a thug like him/her wishing that everyone else bend to their superior wisdom.

  17. Wow…his diatribe made me want to buy a new gun. So I can be ready when I go to 7-11…BTW is OFWG Michael Moore in a ( tiny) disguise???

  18. Boil it all down and it shows that he doesn’t trust himself with a gun. So he then projects his inadequacy on all other people.

  19. Hey great bit Legitimate Sportsman! That Facebook fool from a few days ago would think you were serious…

  20. Aw shucks! All the efforts of our local Sheriff to train my neighbors in safety and proficiency with handguns has all been in vain. Our local public(government) school principal who offered his teachers and staff a reimbursement on the fee of $125 to complete a gun safety course to receive a concealed carry permit and carry those concealed weapons into his school and be prepared to use them to defend the children in a gang infested neighborhood is a waste of money.

    No gun zones are no longer a magnet for criminals, the mentally unsound, and jihadists, oh shucks, you have me convinced….
    ………………………………………………………………NOT!

  21. We need to start putting some pressure on these O.C. protest idiots that keep going into stores with their tacti selfie agenda. Everytime they do, there is a segment of the population that view gun owners just as this author has portrayed us. From looking at the attention whore pics from Chipotle, target, etc., this author’s cute little story is how many people caption those pics in their mind.

    I hate to encourage any sort of division within our gun-owner ranks but I seriously cringe everytime I see these jackasses marching around businesses making folks nervous in an effort to attention whore. The campaign is obviously not working out in our favor as evidence shows by this author’s paranoid little rant.

    Seriously, some of you O.C. attention whores have to be reading this. Please stop “representing” us. [whisper voice on] “you’re making things worse” [whisper voice off]

  22. Have any of you ever taken your firearms and participated in a “communal “jump up and down and wave your firearms around and shoot in the air” fest.” ? SMDH.

    • Closest I’ve come to that is a mag dump–but of course that’s into the berm or bullet trap at the range.

      I did two full mag dumps in Mikhail Kalashnikov’s honor the day after he died. (You get one guess as to the type of firearm I used.)

  23. The only thing that can cure these people is to walk a mile in our shoes – to go get their carry permits and buy a handgun, strap it on and walk in public with it. They’ll soon find that doing so does not erode their mental stability at all, and that it in fact makes them more responsible and less confrontational. The problem is that they are so convinced of the opposite that they will never try out of fear of killing someone in a rage and spending the rest of their life in prison. The fact that millions of citizens (including about a million law enforcement officers) who responsibly carry firearms every day without harming anyone is so antithetical to their thinking that they just ignore the facts that are right in front of their faces.

    • “They’ll soon find that doing so does not erode their mental stability at all,”

      That assumes they have mental stability to erode.

      From diatribes like this one and the one from the Idaho prof a while back (about people shooting each other line at the coffee shop and other nonsense), it really makes wonder.

      Cognitive Dissonance indeed. They don’t see this sort of thing going on around them, yet they think this is what people that carry do. They believe in their own fantasies so strongly it is, actually, a bit scary.

      • I guess the other possibility is that these people truly are unstable and avoid guns because they harbor fantasies about their misuse. In which case they do a disservice by projecting their mental and emotional instability onto others.

  24. @Ralph:

    Actually ..it does. The LA Monitor is one of our two local papers.

    The other is the Daily Post.

  25. I’ve come to think that the root of many gun controller’s fear of guns is really their fear of themselves. As I’ve said elsewhere here, good ol’ H. Sapiens is hunter as well as gatherer. Whether you believe in God, evolution or both, that is how we are hardwired. Guns are an expression of the former, so it’s no wonder that there is a joy and pleasure in their use. It’s an inherent part of human nature.

    And that is what scares them; their own nature. Unfortunately that is part of the problem with people that rely on emotion for their worldview. They have either abandoned the role of reason or have delegated it to a distant second.

    Sure, we have the capacity for violence. Is that a bad thing? Violence is a part of nature as are we. But what separates us from the animals is our ability to rationally decide the need for violence. Our reason controls our nature, not the other way around. Yet that does not mean we can or should deny our nature.

    Pawlak can embrace his nature or deny it. He can be predator or prey. Predator is not bad – it is one who takes control of life and circumstances rather than being at their mercy. Unless he’s one of those deviant scavengers we call “criminals” he must be one or the other. Thanks to reason, he can choose.

    But he only has the right to choose for himself.

    If he chooses “prey” and tries to impose that decision on others, then not only is he committing an evil upon others, we have cause to question his integrity and/or reason. Is he dishonestly a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Or he simply irrational driven by fear of his own nature?

    The former are – as I said – evil, as far as I’m concerned and are to be destroyed as tyrants. The latter are those for which I have hope. Overcome that fear – or at least get them to recognize it – and I’ve found that even though we may not agree, at least we have restored reason and have a common ground for debate.

    That’s how taking an anti shooting works so well, I suspect. It puts them face to face with a part of their own nature that they’ve denied. They may not like it. They may not agree. But unless they are that evil subset, there’s a good chance they will understand us a bit better.

  26. A vision of a world where everyone carries brought to us by a man who knows nothing of guns or gun owners. I have been to a magical world he attempts to belittle where EVERYONE wears a gun. It was a wonderful polite place, probably the nicest place I have ever been. (BTW I have been to London, Japan, and Australia, so I have experienced the Anti’s Utopias). No one argued. Everyone helped out. And the BBQ was awesome.
    Just more mockery from some idiot who doesn’t understand that gun owners don’t use guns to win arguments. And maybe if he ever grows up he will learn how to deal with people in arguments without force or threats too.

  27. One day that idiot will need a person with a firearm to protect or even save his misguided, victim being self, and its my sincere hope that when that day comes all of us god fearing gun carry American back bone people decide to go shoot holes in the supermarket ceiling. Just to let him deal with the problem hiself.

  28. Pawlak admitted to assault with a deadly weapon. He tried to use his gun as a leverage in an argument about the price of his Chinese tea.

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