Amanda Marcotte (courtesy justinvacula.com)

If you’re offended by references to dildos, make the jump now. “A dildo is a dildo because you use it that way,” Amanda Marcotte writes at rawstory.com. “It’s a tool. But if you’re not using a dildo as a dildo, what is it really, then? What is it for? The image of a dildo sitting unused in a drawer is funny to us because it breaks one of the unspoken rules of what makes something a ‘tool’, which is that you use it to perform tasks. That, and dildos are inherently funny, but that’s neither here nor there.” And there you have it: a familiar anti-gun argument wrapped-up in an edgy metaphor. You don’t need a gun so you shouldn’t have one. So anyone who has a gun is paranoid/delusional. And worse. Let’s get to the worst part first . . .

“Guns are a tool.” It’s the mantra of gun lovers. But in order for a thing to be a “tool”, you need to use it. The problem is that the function of a gun is to kill people. Unfortunately for gun nuts, murder is illegal. The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense. But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often. The gun industry lobby would love you to believe people are banging doors down all the time and, if you are patient, one day that gun will come in handy. But I think most gun nuts know, deep down inside, that the odds that they will ever use their tool for what it’s meant for are very low. Most of us simply will never have a legitimate reason to kill someone. No big surprise that some assholes, like George Zimmerman and Byron Smith, therefore go out of their way to create “self-defense” scenarios so that gun goes to use.

Translation: gun owners are homicidal maniacs. The fact that tens of millions of American gun owners don’t shoot anyone ever because A) they don’t want to and B) they don’t have to, is neither here nor there. Even though this collective non-event is the article’s point of embarkation.

Gun owners are wishing (hoping? praying? scheming?) for a chance to kill someone. Why else would we have a gun? Oh wait. Hunting! Sport shooting! Marcotte grabs a pair of parentheses to fill in the gaping hole in her argument – other than the obvious (better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it).

(I’m not talking about hunting weapons or even people who are legitimate sport shooters. Most gun stockpiling in this country is stockpiling of weapons meant for human-to-human violence. And while going shooting is fun, it’s not an all-encompassing hobby that would make someone as fanatical about guns as our current stock of gun nuts are. They refuse to see guns as toys, but more as identity.)

It’s always nice when an anti-gunner who knows little to nothing about guns presumes to know the motivations and mindset of those who do. Or not. It’s the same willful ignorance on display in the recent Mother Jones article Spitting, Stalking, Rape Threats: How Gun Extremists Target Women (click here to read our post on that hit piece). An article which inspired Ms. Marcotte to unleash to dogs of war on Americans peaceably exercising their natural, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.

There’s a lot going on in that Mother Jones article, and I have more thoughts coming next week on it. But what struck me was how pathetic the open carry crazies profiled in it are. They walk around toting guns and spend hours every week haranguing people who want even the mildest restrictions on gun ownership. They live their entire lives around guns. And it all seems like an elaborate rationalization. You spent the money on this damn thing and learned to shoot it. Since you’re never going to actually get to kill someone, instead you run around brandishing it, hoping people look at it and feel afraid. It’s a small solace, but at least you get something out of this pointless hobby of yours.

It’s sad, really. I think a lot of them would be happier with a dildo in a drawer. At least then you don’t have to pretend you use it for something. You can just say you like knowing it’s there.

One wonders if Ms. Marcotte makes a proper living at her writing, and how she would feel if someone (e.g., the IRS) considered it “hobby trading.” Meanwhile, we can be thankful that Ms. Marcotte didn’t start talking about gun owners’ alleged penis envy, as so many of her fellow antis do when they run out of anything remotely resembling a factual argument against gun ownership.

As for Marcotte’s misandrist characterization of gun owners, it’s clear she hasn’t spent any time talking to America’s armed intelligentsia. Which she should. If you read closely, the qualifiers in her dietribe [sic] – “doesn’t come up that often,” “very low,” “likely never use,” etc. – indicate that Marcotte understands that there are times when you do need a gun. Let’s hope she has one if she does.

[Note: all ad hominem attacks will be deleted, including dildo jokes aimed at Ms. Marcotte. So to speak.]

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193 Responses to Amanda Marcotte: Guns Are Like a Dildo in a Drawer

  1. Aim a dildo at somebody? Perish the thought.

    Those things go off on their own, you know. You’re likely to take an eye out.

    • a dildo can kill someone if used incorrectly. Like choking to death with it, it happens with toddlers with their toys too. Should be ban dildos and other toys that fit in the mouth now?

      • If you shove a dildo in a KS-23 and fire it can pierce a human skull. Don’t ask me how I figured that out.

        • I have found myself wondering if loading a dildo into a 38mm flare casing would be considered manufacturing antipersonnel rounds.

    • I’ve seen some pretty big dildo’s in my lifetime. Some of them could easily bludgeon somebody dead in one blow.

      • Well, yeah, girl antigun nuts need large dildos because unlike their antigun nut boyfriends, they don’t have those enormous penises that they apparently bludgeon attackers to death with.

    • Ever heard of the DRILLDO? That’s right, it was a dildo mounted to a real live DRILL. Didn’t last in the market for some reason. There was a whole line of power tool inspired sex toys.

      • My wife knows that I am “power tool inspired”, and when I am outside of the garage she uses me as her favorite sex toy…so I guess that makes me a drilldo?

        • I have an oscillating spindle sander, and man does it oscillate! The spindle goes round and round, and at the same time it goes up and down. There are different size sleeves that fit over the spindle. I suppose there are “other” things that could fit over the spindle.
          The first day I got it, I showed it to my wife and told her it was her new “toy”. She almost died laughing when I turned it on and showed her what it would do.

        • I don’t have a bridgeport at home, but a drill press, welders, hand tools, air tools, table saws, etc. We have access to bridgeports and more elsewhere.

  2. Well, maybe she has a point. We all know how rare it is to actually need a gun, so let’s not carry them. And while we’re at it, let’s also get rid of:

    Fire extinguishers
    Seat belts
    Electric socket covers
    Fences around pools
    Smoke detectors
    Defibrillators
    The Police
    Fire Departments
    etc..

    Seriously, what are the chances that YOUR house will catch on fire, or YOU will be in a car accident on your way to work tomorrow, or YOUR kid will stick a fork in the light socket?

    • You sir are right. I have had a fire extinguisher hanging in my kitchen for over 40 years and have never used it so I might as well get rid of it.

      • if its a dry powder type, you should consider replacing it. they tend to settle and pack over the years.

    • but Ninja Ted, she has a point (intensional):

      But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often.

      Though she misunderstands the function of a gun-as-tool (it’s very presence in sane hands reduces crime), I think I understand her reaction. She sees the dildo as a tool, and uses it with such frequency that a little range time each week pales in comparison. She simply feels she got value for the price.

      And for the connoiseur, I offer this, the more frequently-used tool in the hands of a judge, 515 Pac.2nd at 1. You’re welcome. (Really RD, its worth five minutes on Lexis.)

      • “But, realistically speaking, the ‘opportunity’ for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often.”

        It looks like any time something else doesn’t come up often enough, it’s time to get that dildo out of the drawer.

    • When I was a kid, wall socket covers were unheard of. (and bicycle helmets, elbow and knee pads, etc, etc, etc.) I still remember the time, at about age 3, when I learned to keep my thumb out from between the prongs of the plug when I plugged in the lamp.

      You’re not supposed to baby-proof your house, you’re supposed to house-train the little darling in hopes of one day releasing it into the wild. 😉

    • Million to one odds that my flight from Omaha to Denver will need those floating seat cushions but they sure as heck make some of my fellow passengers feel safer, so I won’t write the FAA to ask to get rid of them.

  3. Derptastic! If all these instances for using firearms by legal gun owners are so rare, then why do they spend so much time talking about banning firearms from legal gun owners?

    • She explains it in her article. Gun owners, according to her, are just looking for an excuse to murder people. She mentions Zimmerman, and insinuates that he put himself in a scenario in which he would have to kill somebody in order to justify his carrying of a firearm.

      To them, anybody who carries a gun is just a murderer who hasn’t killed yet. I won’t argue that it’s the same attack against men that if we have a penis we’re just rapists lying in wait for the right opportunity, but it strikes me as a SIMILAR thought.

      • I caught the Zimm and Smith argument and I understand what you’re saying, but she only mentions two incidents… generally because those events don’t happen very often. So, if we were to think logically (laughable in Ms. Marcotte’s case), the amount of time her, and those like her, spend espousing the notion that “crazy gun nuts” will “just go off” is infinitesimally smaller than the DGU’s that they try to tell us are rare. The crux of her argument is that DGU’s never happen and therefore the tool doesn’t get used, therefore FYTW. Yet, she and her ilk spend an inordinate amount of time telling us that something much more rare (people that “go off”) is a reason to spend loads of time and money depriving people in the much larger DGU group of their rights to defend themselves/loved ones/etc. In the end, I understand she’s against anything that doesn’t jive with her political dogma… which is typical for blissfully undereducated political partisans.

        • Well, she should be given props for at least not taking the canard about how blood-drenched this nation is supposed to be (but in reality is not) because of guns. But, unsurprisingly, she doesn’t bother exploring the role gun ownership plays in our very low gun to gun-related violence ratio. Nor other fun subjects like the negligible crime statistics involving concealed-carry licensees.

          But she apparently knows plenty about sex toys. Maybe she should spend more energy in her area of expertise than leveraging her ignorance to keep her fellow travelers in the dark.

    • And if all those dildoes sit unused in a drawer, why is their manufacture a billion dollar a year industry? I suspect somebody has a use for them.

      A tool is a tool for what it can potentially do, and do well, not because it is used frequently. A fine framing hammer is still a tool even when it sits in my toolbox for years between the times I need to use it.

  4. Amanda Marcotte knows nothing about guns because she never uses them. OTOH, she’s probably a world-class expert on dildos.

    And if she thinks that a dildo in a drawer looks funny, she should see how stupid it looks when it’s put to use.

    • I do not know Ralph. I think many of us would admit to having seen a dildo in use that elicits a certain response. Sometimes it just boils down to how the user looks and the dildo is irrelevant.

    • Along with the more outspoken gun-controllers, she displays what psychologists’ refer to as “secondary ignorance ” i.e., not knowing that you don’t know. What’s worse is when you have a whole room full of people who don’t know they don’t know. Then they compound their ignorance by convincing each other that they do know.

      When the bad guys come for you call a liberal . . .

  5. So the reason I have a fire extinguisher is because I want my house to catch fire? And it just sitting there makes it as useless as an unissued dildo?

    Way to fail…

  6. I have a gun in one night stand, got a dildo in the other night stand. I’m prepared for all events that may or may not happen in my bedroom.

  7. Typical anti-gun statist, thinking that a piece of paper and muh-gubermint are the only things stopping complete societal collapse. “If murder wasn’t against the law there would be mass genocide!!1!”

    • I’d actually classify her as the type of loud, vulgar femi-nazi, that jumps on any issue regardless of knowledge using the same tired box of tricks. She has limited talent so relies upon the shock value to make a splash. Fortunately, she generally offends the casual liberal and ends up being shunned.

      • She was pretty much a leader of the “lynch the Duke lacrosse players” mob. Didn’t even apologize when the hoax was exposed. And she had a major John Edwards bjjones until he was shown to be a total douchebag.

        • ” Amanda Marcotte @AmandaMarcotte
          Follow

          @VerstandskiesK @DrNerdLove Pestering someone with unwanted sexual requests for the purpose of making them uncomfortable is harassment.”

          “Despite being warned by school officials not to, senior Patrick Farves used a visit by Miss America Nina Davuluri to Central York High School to ask her to the prom. Sure, it might have been awkward, but was it sexual harassment? Amanda Marcotte — at one time John Edwards’ blogmaster — says yes.”

          And yet Nina Davuluri said “no it’s not.”

          The purpose wasn’t harassment. The purpose was to take a chance and perhaps get the date of a lifetime, no sex involved. Another guy tried it with an actress last year and it worked.

          So all the boys who ask a girl to the prom and get turned down are guilty of harassment because the invitation was apparently, post hoc, unwanted? But if the girl decides “tonight’s the night” then everything is OK? Sure, that makes social sense. (Sounds like DC law-firm rules….’cause the managing partner also thinks it’s OK…) Yep, this is definitely the same woman who thought a strip dancer with a drug problem must have been telling the truth in Raleigh because, well, sex-and-men. Query: Duke Womens Lacrosse has the same party. Result?

  8. The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense. But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often. The gun industry lobby would love you to believe people are banging doors down all the time and, if you are patient, one day that gun will come in handy. But I think most gun nuts know, deep down inside, that the odds that they will ever use their tool for what it’s meant for are very low. ”

    The author of that statement might be an anti gun stooge. But it doesn’t make that quote above any less true, in one respect.

    Self defense is a valid occurance. But statistically, it’s less likely to happen then more mundane ways we get hurt, like car wrecks and ladder accidents.

    While there isn’t a pervasive conspiracy at work ,there’s definitely an industry of folks who earn a living scaring people into hitting the gun range.

    “Youre not ready to defend your family unless you’ve got tactical training.”
    “You might get carjacked tonight!Book my ‘Tactical Carjacking 220 Course’ now!”
    “If you have a 1911, you’re doomed unless you get a hi cap Glock with lotsa bullets!!”.
    “BUY MY TAC LIGhT! Your Shotgun isn’t a home defense weapon unless Youve got the Mega Blazer 9000!”

    So on and so forth. Nothing wrong with having a weapon close by for personal defense, but let’s not jump the shark by saying we need an extended mag, a laser sight, a $2000 training package, plate carriers, and spare mag pouches just to walk down main street . I’m not saying the government should regulate anything: I’m merely pointing out that too many folks use “SELF DEFENSE” as an ad tagline for their high margin accessory, hoping some poor sod is scared into handing over his money.

    • hoping some poor sod is scared into handing over his money.

      The only things that I was ever motivated to buy because of fear were condoms.

      • One time years ago, my wife and I were talking and I told I was going to buy a condominium, She say’s, That’s OK but I’m going to stay on the pill.

    • See also: Diet Food (FEAR! You are a fat BLOB! Eat our tasteless crap); saturated fat-free anything (FEAR! That stuff will KILL you!); the newest smartphone release (FEAR! You are a UNCOOL, backwards TOOL if you don’t own this!); etc, etc, etc. Advertisers in pretty much every field use these tactics. Because they work. Also know as: There is a sucker born every minute.

    • Well, I certainly HOPE I never need to use a gun to defend myself! But that is no reason to not have one, what problems does it cause!? Other than the expense, which would be my problem, If I have no problem, what’s it to her? Does she somehow imagine that if I cannot buy a new gun, I will buy her an electric dildo instead? Someone should tell her that in the event that happens, I’m sending Dirk to deliver it and spare batteries.

      • “Well, I certainly HOPE I never need to use a gun to defend myself! “

        Liar, liar, pants of fire. Didn’t you read the article? That lady KNOWS we all are just itchin’ to use our shootin’ irons to harm others.

        She KNOWS it.

        And now you deny it.

        Somewhere a poor sheep just got confused.

    • ST: So you got up this morning thinking “It’s sunny. Today would be a perfect day to poke Paul T. McCain in the eye!” And he says, in 3…2….1….

      And anyway, what makes more sense, a gun collection or a dildo collection? Do dildos have good resale value?

  9. I must be a very special kind of loon to her, I’ve got a S&W M&P .45 and a .40 Shield on me as I type. {yes the full size .45)

    • You just totally got her wound up now. A .45? “Full size”? Is that, she wonders, really, you know, big? Would it turn her bottoms on?

  10. The odds of ever being attacked in any way let alone by somebody with a gun that would require defending yourself with the most effective means is so low preparing for it in any way is paranoid? If thus is the rationale here why all the fuss about “gun control” if the chance of any type of assault is to low to even worry about. Cant have it both ways people, make up your mind.

  11. Well, she may be in luck. Ms. Dallas Archer has shown that a NAA mini-revolver can be used as both.

  12. Insurance policies are also tools that sit and do nothing untill a need arises. Just like a gun.

    The dildo usage was just her way of shocking people. Just a cheap trick (like her?).

    • Please, don’t insult Cheap Trick in such a vicious way. Sure, they haven’t had many hits in a while, but they’re huge in Japan.

      • If they’re huge in Japan, but not in the U.S., it must be about the kinbaku? We should ask Marcotte.

  13. She’s convinced me. We need to have the government issue permits for dildos. The potential owner should have to undergo psychological testing to ensure that they are mentally stable enough to own and use a dildo. They should also have to demonstrate a need for said dildo. After that, they should have to submit to 8-12 hours of training to ensure they can safely handle the dildo.

    I call for a nationwide background check for all dildo sales. And let’s close the dong-show loop hole so that we can eliminate the 40 ○/○ of dildo purchases that slip past the government.

    • Don’t forget about only being allowed to purchase dildos from a federally-licensed dealer and the dealer being required to keep a record of the transaction for 20 years.

      • I think a ten day waiting period might stop spur-of-the-moment purchases of dildos that may be regretted the next day.

      • I’m just gonna say it. Nobody needs high-capacity batteries that last more than twenty minutes.

  14. I own a hammer that I didn’t need to use in about a year. Does that mean I don’t need to own one?

  15. This is just another silly argument by a person with an ax to grind against gun owners and, apparently, men to boot. Maybe just a premise for venting her misandrist hatred in a venue where both aspects will meet with reader approval. Yet, we would be jerks and misogynists should we make similar criticisms of her need and use for her “tool” of choice. It is just laughably hypocritical and typical of left-wing thought processes.
    Anyway, Ms. Marcotte, I don’t need a reason to own what I wish to own, and neither does anyone else, so your argument is a meaningless waste.

      • Okay, that made me laugh so hard, I was snorting ! But seriously..I thought you only had to change the batteries in those things…but then, maybe some varieties of “dildo owners” like them sharp and pointy…it’s completely outside my personal experience. ..and shall remain so.:-)

        • The grinding I was thinking of had more to do with what my generation considers dancing, but that works to 😉

        • I heard they make those things in regular plug in 120 volts now. You could have a real “life changing experience” if you plugged one in to 240 volts for a few seconds!

  16. Despite writing her screed in a (mostly) liberal echo chamber, hearty support remains in the comments section. I was tempted to join in, but I don’t want rawstory.com to have access to my FaceBook friends or twitter account.

  17. Oh so much material to work with here…it’s like a NAA revolver meets When Harry Met Sally restaurant scene moment…..

    So if a gun is like a dildo in a drawer, and Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense….i’m seeing a chocolate-peanut butter Reese’s peanut butter cup solution to this whole MDA/Everytown business….

  18. Hmm, maybe Ms. Marcotte uses a different dictionary from the rest of us*, but a tool is made to serve a purpose even when it isn’t being used for it at that exact moment. My fire extinguisher has never put out a fire and my new socket wrenches have yet to repair a swingset, but only an idiot’s logic would draw the conclusion that I shouldn’t own them because of that. Really, the only thing a gun and a dildo have in common is whichever one I armed myself with would be extremely bad news to anyone who intrudes into my home, but I still prefer my chances with the gun since it nearly eliminates the “Oh crap, he’s INTO this sort of thing!” variable that confronting a burglar with a sex toy introduces.

    * Since I’m well aware that the Loony Left uses its own dictionary, it’s a given that my “maybe” there is dripping with enough sarcasm to dissolve silverware.

    • If “a tool is made for a purpose, even if it isn’t being used for that purpose at the moment,” then what purpose does Amanda Marcotte serve? I mean, as long as we’re talking about tools and all…

      • She serves the purpose of telling women to scream “rape” if they get asked to the prom by the wrong guy. And she serves it for money. If not for the money she’d skip the writing go straight to her next conquest, which apparently is fine for dykes but not for men. Something’s wrong with that transform. Obviously.

  19. A gun really is like a dildo/vibrator, you hope you never have to use one, but you are damn glad it is there when you do.

    • Or… like a gun… there are plenty of harmless, recreational uses for a dildo… not everyone buys a dildo with the intention of using it as a blackjack for home defense.

  20. I associate anti gunners with supporting culling the herd.

    Meaning it’s OK for fellow citizens to be harmed or destroyed because it’s the price we pay for living in a civil society. Knowing they cannot control criminals, they empower them to steal, assault, rape, & murder with whatever tool they choose and should their victim be hurt….well that’s just part of the grand civilized bargain.

    Today people (anti gunners) from around the world stand on a river bank to witness wildebeest (citizens) getting on with life, crossing a river full of crocodiles (criminals). We are well versed on the outcome, we could either stop the croc’s from getting close, or destroy them, however we choose to do nothing, let nature take its course. And this is what an anti gunner is, a spectator, spends no time in the river, knows of the danger yet offers no assistance and lives to restrict the right of lawful self defense among others.

    This is why their cause has no support, citizens are smarter than wildebeest

  21. Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.

    So it seems she’s been hospitalized for ADHD at The Brooklyn Hospital Center [ http://www.tbh.org/maps-and-directions ]? Send flowers. Or maybe batteries.

  22. Given this comparison of a dildo and a gun the only thing I can think of that third ‘Jackass’ movie. Which had a skit involving said instrument being being fired out of a cannon.

  23. I wonder if Ms. Marcotte has replaced all of her circuit breakers, earth leakage detectors and arc-fault interrupters with solid wire links in her electrical panel? After all, she knows that deep down that electrical devices hardly ever short out and burn your house down.

    If she rides a bicycle, she wouldn’t wear a helmet either – since they’re just for accidents and the chances o her getting in an accident (if she’s careful enough) and needing head protection are pretty low.

    She likely never wears uses condoms – since the chances of catching an STD is not overwhelming enough for her …and they’re not needed to prevent pregnancies, since that’s what abortion is for!

    • Well, that last paragraph is pretty obvious, isn’t it? Just basic hygiene with some alcohol will prevent any STD problems with a dildo, and pregnancy ain’t a player unless you’re really workin’ at it.

  24. Her argument is basically that tools are only designed to do one thing, and therefore anybody using a gun to do things like shoot paper or hunt, are just temporarily using it wrong until they can get a chance to use it for what it’s designed for – and that all guns are apparently designed specifically to kill humans.

    Did I miss anything?

  25. “But what struck me was how pathetic the high performance car crazies profiled in it are. They drive around, driving fast cars and spend hours every week haranguing people who want even the mildest restrictions on performance car ownership. They live their entire lives around cars. And it all seems like an elaborate rationalization. You spent the money on this damn thing and learned to drive it. Since you’re never going to actually get to street race someone, instead you run around driving it, hoping people look at it and feel afraid. It’s a small solace, but at least you get something out of this pointless hobby of yours.”

    Not a perfect translation but this woman obviously doesn’t understand hobbies. Guns are a cheaper hobby for me than cars. In fact, I have sold a bunch of my cars and car parts I have laying around because they consume so much time and money. A new gun, ammo and trip to the range is cheap compared to a full restoration on my 1969 Mustang Mach 1 or 1970 Dodge Charger R/T. Hell, the carbs and intake on the Charger cost more than a Tavor with the Israeli optics if I were to buy them new.

    • Cosmopolites who live in cities generally have neither the time, space, or cultural background to allow them to understand hobbies that require them to actually own stuff. Stuff is expensive for them and so they have very little of it. It continues to amaze me to encounter people who not only don’t own a car, but who have never even driven a car. They’re similarly ignorant of guns, only more so. Our nation is becoming populated by culture illiterates.

  26. A dildo is a substitute for a penis, dare I say it, a toy. If this is difficult to remember paint the end of it orange.

    I keep my tool clean, lubricated and verify it’s function frequently. It is kept out of sight and does not imprint on my clothing. Beyond that it will be used only if I am stimulated by others.

  27. Pointless hobby?

    All hobbies can be described as pointless if you don’t like them/are a part of them.

  28. I was under the impression guns were designed to propel a lead cored projectile at incredible speeds….. murder is just one of the things they are used for…. they are not designed to kill exactly…. if anything is designed to kill it would be bullets, not guns.

  29. Everybody might as well get rid of smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, seat belts, air bags, etc…..since nobody wants to have to use them. Of course, if you have a need for one of those tools, and you don’t have one, you are in a world of hurt.
    That’s why I have a gun. Just in case. Keeping proficient is just a routine, similar to the act of replacing the batteries in the smoke detector or checking the fire extinguishers to make sure they charged and not out of date. Of course, shooting is fun as well.

  30. She has no idea what she is talking about. At the heart of it is a classic case of projection. She knows that she cannot trust herself with a firearm for whatever the reason, and makes the leap that because she is incapable of safely owning a gun, no one else is either. If you waste your time and read the whole article, you’ll see that her writing is extremely angry, maybe she has a difficult time managing emotions.I hope she gets the help she needs someday.

  31. Amanda, I would tell you to shove your dildo in your mouth so we cannot hear you but I think a butt pug would be more appropriate here. After all, you have your head up your ass.

  32. So they assume that since defensive gun uses are statistically irrelevant, ergo we should ban them. But mass murdering psychopaths are far less statistically relevant than DGUs, but this is the motivation to ban guns.

    Their mantra, “If it saves on life…” comes to mind. Yet they clearly don’t care about the lives saved from DGUs.

    This is what happens when they want to start talking logically. If they want to engage us in a talk about numbers and statistics I would happily comply.

    Oh, and WHY THE HELL are dildos and masturbation being brought up? Why is it these people are so concerned about connecting firearms with genitalia? If I have a gun it’s a dildo. If I like guns I have a small penis. These people have very dirty minds.

  33. It’s just insurance. Years ago I sold life, property and casualty, health, auto, renters and various other types of insurance. I’ve sold burgler and medical alarms( I’ve fallen & I can’t get up). You never need it ’till you NEED it. Besides-guns are cool. Cooler than a dildo…unless you need it.

  34. “Guns are a tool.” It’s the mantra of gun lovers…”

    Yes, they are. They are also insurance, rendering the next thousand or so words of her long winded justification as to the use of firearms completely meaningless. No further break down of her article is necessary beyond realizing this singular important point.

  35. Miss Dildo, do you agree that without guns, our military and police would be ineffective.
    If you believe that then you are saying that we can only be protected by those with guns but you are against individuals having access to the very things you feel are necessary to protect us, in the hands of others. Do you think that those “others” are around all the time to protect us? Nope so therefore I want the same tool that they use to protect me to use to protect myself 99.9% of the time when they are not around to do so.
    Miss Dildo, are you aware that most who feel like you do, seek out guns when they become the target of violent criminals, even though the chances of it happening again are low?

    P.S. Miss Dildo, are you aware that many dildos can also be used to massage muscles and therefore you can conclude that the use of a dildo defines its purpose.

  36. Kinda reminds me of Kentucky Fried Movie where an attorney is wiggling one while asking the witness if they were aware of the penal codes in the state.

  37. [Note: all ad hominem attacks will be deleted, including dildo jokes aimed at Ms. Marcotte. So to speak.]

    Right. We get called homicidal maniacs hellbent on shooting people, but God help us if someone wants to crack wise with a dirty joke and hoist these haters on their own petard.

    Once again, TTAG the allegedly oh so in your face, tell it like it is, gun blog imposes self-censorship. To what great purpose? To avoid giving the antis quotes to use? To take the high road? To elevate the substance of the debate? No, no and no.

    It’s just control for control’s sake. The truth is that the POTG are passionate and have opinions. RF and company will take their rhetorical potshots at whomever they want, because they control the firing and are controlled by their own biases. Let anyone else take some shots, and it’s delete time!

    90% of the value of TTAG is in the comments, and maybe 90% of the valuable comments come from a couple dozen individuals. These individuals can write anywhere else, even on their own blogs. TTAG’s cyber satrap routine of muzzling free wheeling exchanges is really starting to wear thin. And, yes, before you say it, I already know your suggestion. Better yet, though, rather than run people off, why not re-examine your own mushrooming ego and return the site to its former pre-emasculated state? Or don’t.

    • heh, this is their range, and they get to set the range rules. you don’t pay anything to be here and your even allowed to whine about the things you dont like. your also allowed to leave whenever you want to.

      Your move…

    • Perhaps before you bellow to the heavens about being oppressed, you should wait for the actual oppression. Not only has no one been deleted as far as I can see, I’m actually surprised at the number of shenanigans they’ve let slide with this article.

      • df is correct. As of this writing, there is not a single comment in the trash from this post, nor is anything above moderated. Quit yer bitchin’.

      • I dunno, I think that one’s still bitching about why it couldn’t have just been made into erasers or drain stoppers like all the other batches of synthetic rubber.

  38. Marcotte used a dildo once. She chipped her tooth on it though and ended up tossing it in a drawer.

  39. Someone should teach Ms. Marcotte to cast for fish properly. She seems to have hooked her right earlobe several times in a row.

  40. Let’s not forget that it was a jedi-turned-sith called Anakin Skywalker a.k.a. Darth Vader that killed kids in a school (jedi temple) with a weapon (lightsaber).

  41. can’t…stop…laughing… ok ok first way to go on finally writing such a hard hitting article lil lady whew such insightful and deeply researched musings were unexpected from such a pretty young lady. Really congratulations but ummm buttercup your logic is garbage… kitchen knives, hammers, wrenches, forks, spoons, airbags, screwdrivers, ladders, baseball bats, football helmets,& fire extinguishers can all be used to kill some one or to do what it is they are designed to do and (to be honest most silverware stays in the drawer for God knows how long. I have forks I know have never been used) sit in a drawer or closet until called upon to do whatever the operator needs them to do. so why not try banning all those? *note: the entire first sentence is pure sarcasm

  42. Dildo’s are considered “splatter guns” by the BATF, do they sell reloading materials for them, maybe I should ask Amanda Marcotte. Are “black” dildo’s “evil”, can they be considered “assault” dildos? If someone who is “white” chooses to purchase a “flesh/pinkish-hued” dildo over a “black” model is that “racist”?

  43. “But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often. The gun industry lobby would love you to believe people are banging doors down all the time and, if you are patient, one day that gun will come in handy. But I think most gun nuts know, deep down inside, that the odds that they will ever use their tool for what it’s meant for are very low.”

    So her position is that so many people are victims of “gun violence” that we need to ban guns but the need to defend oneself against “gun violence” is so rare that nobody needs one.

    Seems perfectly logical to me.

  44. No one “needs” a large capacity double ended assault dildo!

    There should be a ten inch dildo limit, it’s for the children.

  45. Interestingly, recent bizarre news prove that some women use dildos, and guns interchangeably.

  46. Here are some real differences:
    You can be arrested for selling a dildo without a doctor’s prescription in Georgia (case making its way through the Courts as we speak)
    You can do serious prison time in Texas for owning six dildoes because it shows “intent to traffic” (folks have gone to prison for this)
    You can be arrested for simple possession of a dildo in Alabama and a couple other States (or at least could have as of a few years ago. The laws may have been struck down.)

    The same mindless teabagging lovers of Freedumb who whine and screech and stamp their precious little feet and promise to hold their breath until they turn blue if you so much as ask for a background check are perfectly happy to support these laws because what adults do in the privacy of their own homes is the gibbertarians’ business.

    • Huh? So you have nothing useful to add except to make asinine claims that are not supported by fact? I guess you exemplify “free dumb”, nobody would be willing to pay to hear you spout rhetoric.

      • What do you mean “Not supported by fact”?
        The case in Georgia is going through as we speak.
        The laws on sex toys in Texas, Alabama and so on are matters of public record.
        But that’s the conservative mind for you. If reality disagrees with dogma reality must be discarded.

        • Typical liberal ass, can’t even understand his own writing. Every OPINION (ergo “claim”) you proffered regarding the people here is beyond asinine, and unsupported by fact. Maybe you should get someone else to help you write things.

  47. Her fldildo metaphor may be a result of the number of times women like me , who have actually been in a life or death situation and still live in the fearful shadow our attacker will return to finish the job, have told her to Fuck Herself.

  48. A gun equated to a dildo? Holy shit, talk about edge play! My phone learned a new word today, too.

  49. So if a gun in useless unless it is being used to kill someone and therefore unnecessary, why are we forced to have insurance? Insurance is useless unless it is being used, and how often do we actually use our automobile insurance for example?

  50. Guns are like a dildo in a drawer–never dismiss the importance of keeping them clean and in good working order; you’ll appreciate it if you ever have to break one out in a hurry.

  51. She is right that it’s unlikely that I’ll ever need to use a gun to defend myself- especially where I live , but it’s not impossible. Should that day or night ever come, I don’t want to be standing there in my underwear brandishing a dildo at someone that has a knife or a gun.

  52. Have one weapon for EDC self dense, Ruger LCR .38, cause it sure aint fun to shoot. But glad I have it.
    I have several revolvers & pistols that are a ton of fun to shoot. Yeah, Ms. Dildo, guns are fun! In fact leaving the range, amazing number of us women remark how relaxing a a two hour shooting session is.
    So guess we don’t need a dildo, in fact most of us have the real thing at home. But good luck to you. You do your thing, we’ll do our thing.

  53. The problem with dildos is that they’re made for only one purpose: to f8ck people. Raping people is illegal, so I’m sorry, you can’t use that dildo in your drawer. Because if you want to f8ck anyone with your dildo, you’re a rapist at heart. And having different sizes and shapes, and (gasp!) vibration capacity just proves even more that your identity is wrapped up in raping people.

    You have no business owning those tools of mass f8cking. Turn ’em in, Mr. & Mrs. America.

  54. “But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often.” So why carry a spare tire? Realistically, the “opportunity” for a flat tire simply doesn’t come up that often either. If you didn’t carry that spare tire with you, somehow someone will eventually come by to help you. If you don’t have that firearm when you need it most, you may not have a second chance. Now, my question, what’s a dyke doing with a dildo?

    • What? Dykes love dildos. They like applying them. They want to ‘do’ their lovelies, and a dildo is as close as they can…come. Tough, eh? But they can do the haircut and shirt, no problem.

  55. “if you’re not using a dildo as a dildo, what is it really, then? What is it for?”

    It’s a conversation piece designed to inspire intellectual intercourse.

  56. I have thousands of tools but I don’t use all of them at the same time when I change my oil. They stay in the shed where they belong in the event that I need one of them. Just like my guns.

  57. Ms. Marcotte has not a clue. Most of us keep our guns in safes, I certainly do. The exception is when I am home, then one is usually at hand just in case some of the wacky but wayward ghetto yoot in the neighborhood decide to play “Let’s Make A Deal” and see what’s behind door #2 even if Monty Hall did not invite them to do so. I’m sure the ones that kick in doors every other month around here or use the dumpsters as urinals or deal drugs in the bushes are well adjusted yoot who are “good boys” turning their lives around to godliness and charity.

    Ms. Marcotte is apparently unaware that one does not need to have a NICS criminal background check performed by the FBI to purchase a dildo. In some states they would probably require further checks for the massive, AC powered assault dildoes or the smaller versions that are concealable and fit in her purse. Does she have the required training and license to carry one of those small concealable dildoes?

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I consider my guns toys for the most part, even the competition rifles that are worth anywhere from $4000-$8000 each. They are also tools, mostly very healthy tools as whenever I am behind the gun shooting I am “in the zone” getting my zen back and my blood pressure drops about 10 points. Guns are known to induce deep meditative states and are simply the tools used to meditate very loudly.

  58. This really got a lot of response, perhaps more articles should contain the word dildo.

    The authors assertion that firearms ownership can provide something of an identity for some of us is true enough, it’s her conclusion that it’s a bad thing that’s off base. Certainly guns have shaped my identity in ways but all of them are positive. Variously I’ve learned responsibility, discipline, patience, respect and humility from my experiences with firearms, shooting and the shooting community. I’ve also learned sportsmanship, competition, cooperation and gained an enhanced sense of community and citizenship.

    When I was young I wanted nothing more than to shoot, often, and to improve my abilities. I never played team sports and never wanted to. However, most of the positive lessons that come from sport I learned on the range and in the gun rooms of uncles and my grandfather. Shooting and collecting guns has introduced me to interesting people from many walks of life that I otherwise would never have met. I learned lessons from them that I might not have learned without guns bringing us together. I’ve forged and cemented relationships on the range with people I simply wouldn’t have known without our shared passion.
    The things that resonates most about the people I’ve met through guns and shooting sports is that they are responsible people. We enjoy, collect, use and compete with equipment that improperly maintained or used carelessly could seriously injure or kill us or someone else. Long exposure hasn’t made us more flippant or casual about our arms but more so. The discipline of safety and the pursuit of greater skill with a gun spill over into other aspects of our lives. Our work ethic is enhanced as is our conscientiousness. We know at the deepest levels that half measures and sloppiness isn’t acceptable and it shows by degrees in our lives, work and relationships.

    Fans of many sports are know to riot when their team loses, or even wins. Protesters of other sorts are known to riot or commit acts of vandalism, to litter, and to engage in hateful behavior. The POTG don’t do this. There has never been a riot at an NRA convention, or vandalism during a pro 2A event, fans of Todd Jarret have never attacked fans of Rob Leatham after a match. If anything, the POTG are about non violence. We actually practice ‘the temperance of a monk with the power of a gun’.

    When I meet other ‘gun people’ for the first time guns can be an opening to a friendship. I expect that they will be responsible, respectful people and they seem to always expect the same of me. I think this is because our collective experiences have lead us to believe that the POTG are like this by and large. Any group so large will have it’s problem members, but over all the POTG I’ve met are a step up from the general population in many ways. I think early experience with responsibility and accountability have shaped them this way.

    Far from being distrustful or insular the POTG I’ve met over my life of association with all things gun have been some of the most helpful, open and trusting people I’ve met period. I can’t recall, in 30 years of being an adult and meeting hundreds of POTG any who stole, lied about anything of importance or who were violent in anyway. It’s purely anecdotal, and perhaps my experience is unique, but it seems to me that being active in collecting and shooting guns is a marker for a good, honest person.

    When I read these lie laden, nasty screeds demonizing gun owners I wonder who the author is talking about because I haven’t met them, and I’m sure that I know more gun owners than the author ever will (if for no other reason than I live in a region dense with gun owners). I see my grandfather, stoic and hardworking to a fault, so full of conviction that he was somewhat pedantic regarding certain aspects of morality and how a person ought to behave. I see the father of a high school friend who eventually became a mentor and taught me about gunsmithing, but more importantly instilled little life lessons about how a responsible person acts and I not even his child. I see a friend of my uncle who taught me a lot about self sufficiency and independence and how to stand up for myself without ever displaying a hint of violence. I even see , and how to put this, those on the lower end of the socio-economic and educational strata, who’s chief activities seem to include 4 wheeling, beer drinking and informal plinking with their guns who are still hardworking dedicated family men who while they have little, pass on to their children the things that actually matter, honesty, work and family.

    I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered a gun owner who struck me as owning them for the purpose of defining themselves, or to perpetrate violence, or who came across as filling some emotional need by owning guns. I just don’t know who it is these writers are talking about, and I don’t think they know either. They’ve invented some image of what a ‘gun-owner’ is and then imbued that image with all sorts of bizarre and derogatory traits that wouldn’t hold true for any group so large as ‘gun owners’ and that are reminiscent of the demonization propaganda one usually sees in wartime regarding the enemy. Just look at what they say: Ignorant, wrong-headed, out to get you, crazy, inadequate. . . perhaps the most frustrating and disturbing part is that all of these things are such obvious projections on the part of the author; they are ,to a person, ignorant about guns and gun owners, full of false statements and fabricated statistics, actively trying to take away a natural right that would leave everyone at the mercy of violent criminals, apparently suffering from delusions about what guns are and can do, seemingly incapable of registering any information that doesn’t fit their assumptions and completely and utterly unable to understand concepts like personal accountability or self reliance.

    Sometimes I think they hate us so much because deep down where they won’t let themselves go, they know that we’re better than them. We’re more honest, more comfortable with ourselves and those around us, happier, and more capable than they are. I think it eats at them, their dependency, helplessness, incapability and mostly just their abject fearfulness. I think they hate us because we aren’t afraid.

  59. I suppose she might a well throw all her silverware out too. Its just stting in a drawer. And no one needs forks, dildoess, or guns, right? Remember though, when inches count the cops are miles away…or something like that.

  60. shows again the truth about antis and hoplophobes. the only thing they can see themselves doing with a gun is killing the innocent. So they project that on everyone else. Because none of us can be better.

    Every single anti goes off with crap like “unfortunately for gun nuts murder is illegal.” I think she’s talking about herself and her immaturity and lack of self control. Most of us gun nuts, millions of us, find non murder uses every day.

    Someone put her on a watch list, If she finds a gun, she’s already publicly declared motive and intent.

    • I think you’re onto something. Consider this:

      In 2013 there were 11,000 homicides in the US in which a gun was the primary weapon. That same year there were 21,093,273 background checks for firearm purchases of which 99.3% were approved. Couple this to the (erroneous) claim by the gun control industry that 40% of all firearms sales are done without a background check and one could (using their numbers) suggest that there were nearly 39 million guns sold that year. There were also over 5.3 billion rounds of ammunition sold in 2013. There were also about 310 million guns in private hands already.

      310 million guns owned, 39 million changing hands and 5.3 billion rounds fired and for all that 11,000 homicides? That means there are something like .0002 homicides per round fired. It’s a remarkably low number and hardly something to be concerned about. In fact, with 1.5 deaths per 100 million miles driven, for each 5.3 billion miles driven there are about 80 fatalities. Since 80.0 is bigger than .0002, If saving lives is even remotely important the gun control industry would immediately leave off trying to deny others their rights and apply all efforts towards improving driving safety. I’ll accept their premise that they are worried about public health and safety as soon as they do so.

    • I surmise that she is ok with cops having guns…so is she saying that murder is legal for them?

  61. So a screw driver is a tool so in other words i should only have a screwdriver around if i have something to screw so if i have one around im paranoid that ill need to screw something and i must be obsessed with screwing things sometimes things just need to be screwed and id rather have a screw driver around and not need it than need a screw driver and not have one

  62. Amanda Marcotte: I have a generator & a chainsaw in my garage, they are tools, neither one has been used since two weeks after Hurricane Ike. I guess, by your defenition, they aren’t tools. I have a power saw hanging on a peg in that same garage that I haven’t used in at least 7 years, I guess it’s not a tool either. Were you always dumb or is it a recent onset? You should probably go see a neurologist as loss of intelligence may indicate you’ve had a stroke.

  63. I don’t think using dildo references is a good way to get people to take you seriously.

  64. soooo, would a double headed dildo be considered a fully auto or just a burst?? im confused here!!??!!

    • It would be a double barreled dildo. But instead of side by side or over/under it is a back to back, the dildos, not necessarily the people, that is.

  65. She needs to read No Easy Days. The book by a navy seal. It describes a dildo called “staff of power.” She should at least hold the said object in the air. Heston held a rifle in the air

    • It would suck to bring a dildo to gun fight . . . you could get screwed more ways than one . . . a whole new level of fubar . . . wrong phallic symbol and all . . .

  66. I’m guessing I’m the exception to her rule that most people will never need to use a gun in self defense. Unfortunately I have had to do so twice. NOT FUN, not cool, not sexy. It really sucks. That said I am here to tell about it when it could be a much different story. So would Ms. Marcotte prefer I be injured or killed while I wait the 20-30 minutes it takes LE to arrive? In her world I suspect so. In my world my family comes first and me being here to protect and provide for them is included. Ms. Marcotte answer me this..why is it law that we must wear seat belts when statistics show that the vast majority of us who drive or ride will never be involved in an auto accident? The fact of the matter is when it does happen it is violent and life threatening. Same with a DGU situation. I prefer to be prepared.

  67. Anyone who doubts a Dildo’s lethality clearly has never seen “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”.

  68. I always compare gun ownership to owning fire extinguishers. The need for them does not come up that often but who would argue that you don’t need them?

  69. “The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense. But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often.”

    Actually, the “opportunity for self-defense” comes up many, many times a day. Every time there’s a rape, a mugging, spousal abuse, a dog or other wild animal attack, there’s an opportunity for self-defense.

    Just because *YOU* don’t see the need for self-defense, don’t ham-string everyone else and turn them into a potential victim.

    • Lady walks into store and asks clerk for dildo batteries, Clerk gestures, “come this way.” Lady says, “if I could come that way, I wouldn’t need the batteries!” <rimshot>

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