Gun Hero of the Day: Troy Michigan Pizza Hut

Guns N Grenades vending machine in Toy Michigan Pizza Hut (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

Gun culture 2.0 is quietly taking the nation by storm. We’re talking the Call of Duty generation’s real-world firearms affinity, the growing number of women shooters hitting the range (and carrying concealed), the rise of the gunblogosphere and ballistic YouTubery, the increasing visibility of foodies who hunt, and more. Even as gun culture 2.0 spreads, OFWGs lament the death of gun culture 1.0. You know: war movies, black-and-white TV westerns (e.g., The Rifleman) and toy guns. Lots of toy guns! As the picture above demonstrates . . .

The [mostly male] fascination with plastic pretend firepower hasn’t disappeared entirely. An eagle-eyed reader sent it to us after a visit to the Pizza Hut at 4845 Rochester Rd. in Troy, Michigan. The fact that the vending machine exists at all is something of a revelation. The fact that local hoplophobes haven’t called for its removal is more of a miracle.

No doubt Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America will get straight to it because . . . guns suck. Unless you’re a boy. If you live local, show them some love.


  1. avatar Anmut says:

    Anyone local able to take a .75 PayPal charge? I want some vending machine guns!

    1. avatar AmericanSpirit says:

      Vending-machine guns (above)
      are and can only be considered inferior to vending machines for guns.

      Anyone seen those vending machines where they sell cars or iPhones?

      This is a good idea.

      In fact, I’m editing this post to indicate that whoever actually does this is gonna owe me some royalties because it was my idea first.

      1. avatar mashashin says:

        So a Borderlands game fan I take it.
        “guns, glorious guns”

        1. avatar AmericanSpirit says:

          Actually, never played it.

          I just think it’d be awesome to pull a purchase form, fill it in, wait for the okay and then press ‘D-9’ for that Ruger 22/45 Threaded Barrel I’ve had my eye on for a while.

      2. avatar Jon in CO says:

        That’s an idea I can get behind.

        1. avatar Jon R. says:

          Kickstarter anyone?

        2. avatar AmericanSpirit says:

          I’m interested. Think the new ATF eForms and a scanned ID/face with matching profiles will suffice when it comes to doing background checks? (recording facial recognition patterns is why no more glasses at the DMV in pictures anymore, FYI for you older folks who remember … We’re all on file and all that)

          I mean, if the background check works, there’s no reason why it wouldn’t be kosher, amirite? Any FFL laws that would be broken?

          Partly I’d like to do this because it’d actually probably be a decent money-maker, easily adapted to those electronics vending machines (at least for pistols), and partly because of the looks of horror from Moms while they cover their kiddies’ faces walking past our firearm vending machine in the mall. In every mall.

          Those kids (or at least the ones with a brain and some gumption) are gonna wanna know more about the things that they’re not allowed to see because mommy said so.

          What would be better than this to put guns back into public consciousness in a neutral/positive light?

          Let’s display them openly, for sale, to every qualified buyer, in every temple to modern managed American consumer society.

          Too bad the irony will be lost on all but a few.

    2. avatar John L. says:

      If it drops more than one toy at the time does it need NFA paperwork?

  2. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    I think one of those may be the elusive “.9mm”.

  3. avatar NYC2AZ says:

    Well being that MDA lurks on this website, the machine will have a massive (2 adults and maybe a kid) demonstration against it outside the Pizza Hut with a local news story to drum up some false outrage. I mean those guns can kill… if swallowed. Ban it! For the children(TM)!

    1. avatar AmericanSpirit says:

      The moms will be protesting, and the kid is gonna be outside the laundromat next door hunting for quarters.

      ‘Cause kids know what’s up.

      1. avatar Jus Bill says:


  4. avatar Mike Crognale says:

    Now you’ve done it! The hoplophobes read the site and they’ll be all over that Pizza Hut like blow flies on cow flops. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty apt description for them. LOL. Now for an appropriate abbreviation for “blow flies on cow flops.” BFOCF. nah. anyone?

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Flies on s**t

      1. avatar Mike Crognale says:

        Or Full of… works for me. Thanks.

    2. avatar Cliff H says:

      BFoBS: Blow Flies on Bull Shit

      Or why limit the possibilities – go generic with FOBS: Flies on Bull Shit.

    3. avatar JasonM says:

      Can you be more specific? Are you comparing them to the flies or the plops? This is the MDA we’re talking about, so either analogy is applicable.

  5. avatar rjoguillory says:

    …they look like key


  6. avatar RidetoShoot says:

    How many lockdowns, school closings and kids getting kicked out of school will this one machine cause?

  7. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    The mothers against protecting their kids are not going to be amused. eric(I never seen them guns before) holder is probably getting ready to raid the place. How dare the kids have fun before clown obama & his traveling circus gets to brainwash them, Randy

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Scatter them around the next MDA coven meeting!

    2. avatar Lucas D. says:

      It’s probably a scientific law by now that I’ll never happen to have any spare quarters whenever I come across a capsule vending machine selling something cool, so I’m honestly a little tempted, and this would probably be a much better use of $50 than the carton of smokes I was going to spend it on.

      Hell with it. I’m buying ’em.

      1. avatar Daily Beatings says:

        Just buy the display instead, it’s only $4.95:–31-GNGRC2.html

        Sorry if I’m contributing to your habit. Have you tried e-cigs instead?

        1. avatar Lucas D. says:

          Tried them, but –ironically enough– the e-cigarettes always send me into a coughing fit.

  8. avatar Matt in FL says:

    I think this is awesome.

    The best thing my Pizza Hut had when I was of an age to think those keychains were cool was a tabletop Ms. Pacman.

    1. avatar MiketheHopsFarmer says:

      Errr! That place in Fort Pierce that had that table was Pizza Inn. Not even a Pizza Hut. But yes, I too fed many a quarter into that machine.

      1. avatar Matt in FL says:

        Bzzt. Wrong. My family didn’t eat at Pizza Inn. Pizza Hut. NW corner of US1 & Emil. That was my family’s go-to. It’s an empty lot now.

        1. avatar Drew says:

          Local godfathers has a hunting game with a pretty nice pump action controller and the theater has a terrorist shoot em’ up game with two 1911ish controllers. My wife and I dumped a bunch of quarters in that thing one date night. I tell ya’ I want that chick by my side if we ever face seadoo riding terrorist for reals. Talk about calm controlled fire!

  9. avatar Ralph says:

    I don’t know which is more dangerous — Pizza Hut’s plastic guns or its plastic pizzas.

    Anyone who likes Pizza Hut has never had a real pizza.

    1. avatar Lucas D. says:

      Now now, Ralph, let’s be fair: they’re also both made with die-cast metal, too.

    2. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      I hated living in Chicago, but they have some badass pizza there.

  10. Let’s just hope that the “Call of Duty Generation” realizes there is a HUGE difference between shooting video game firearms and doing so in real life.

    1. avatar AmericanSpirit says:

      Yeah, there’s no hit markers in real life.


      1. avatar S.CROCK says:

        and no quickscoping with 30 lb Barrett 50 cals.

        1. avatar Drew says:

          Ha! I just started playing recently and sniping Taliban with a 50 cal getting consistent head shots when they were specks in the hills was a trip. I do appreciate the obvious attempt at realism though and believe that is part of what develops interest in real guns. I don’t see many halo fans getting into shooting.

    2. avatar TheBear says:

      ..AND here’s the thread’s obligatory negative comment. :/

      Those damn kids and their rock/rap/electronic music!

    3. avatar Gyufygy says:

      Yeah, games are less expensive.

    4. avatar Jonathan -- Houston says:

      I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say they’ll get the difference easily when the time comes. After all, this kid of the Nintendo “Duck Hunt” generation caught on just fine without error. I also figured out without either experiment or accident that shooting video game dogs, while hilariously funny at the time, wasn’t anything I’d ever be interested in trying in real life.

      Sadly, some of my generation didn’t make that mental transition, and presumably ended up on big city SWAT teams serving narco warrants. So who knows? In writing this, I’m actually coming around to your way of thinking.

      1. avatar Lucas D. says:

        I dunno, if my dog came up from the bushes and derisively snickered at me any time I missed, I’d probably consider shooting him before long. Man’s Best Friend, my ass.

        Oh, and admins? Figure out which one of your sponsors’ ads keeps shutting down my display driver and please, please, PLEASE get rid of them.

        1. avatar sagebrushracer says:

          I am not a fan of blocking adds, because they pay for this site and I like this site and what it does/stands for. But if you have those kind of issues, I would suggest swapping browsers at the very least. Very worst, install Firefox and then the Add Block add on.

  11. avatar Sam Spade says:

    Anyone know who makes this vending machine? I’d like to present it as a money making project at the next school board meeting, maybe lower my taxes.

  12. avatar JoshuaS says:

    I have seen similar toys. Recently. In California. I don’t think they are all that rare

    1. avatar Victor says:

      Really? you in Northern California? I’m from L.A. I’ve never seen any.

  13. avatar Ing says:

    Moms Demand Action will get to it because guns suck…and boys are merely defective females who need to be emotionally neutered before the testosterone kicks in.

  14. avatar JaxD says:

    I’m surprised this is such a big deal. Where I grew up these are in front of every other store, and cheaper too. Some are pretty accurate models. The grenades are fun, put a cap in, toss it and it goes off.

  15. avatar cknarf says:

    I have a few of those lol. The little AR is pretty cool, the magazine even comes out! The local chili place has one, I throw all my quarters at it when I leave.

  16. avatar DisThunder says:

    I bet I got action figures that could use some additional armament.

    Except Batman. Damn flip-flopper.

  17. avatar Victor says:

    In ranges they should have those claw machines, but instead of little stuffed animals or cheap plastic toys, they should have bricks of .22
    Man, that’d be awesome.

  18. avatar Michelle says:

    Not only guys, I had some of those battery operated “real looking” (sort of) water guns in the oh so distant 1980s growing up.

    I think it’d be cool if someone made a really accurate mini model of an AR15 or M16.

    Though I couldn’t imagine such a thing ending up on a hobby store shelf today.

  19. avatar peirsonb says:

    MDA is going to need a few more members….that vending machine is EVERYWHERE in MI. So many places that I guess I never really noticed. I just walked by one in the entrance of our local Meijer…

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