OMG! It’s an Olympian! With a Gun! OMG!

It’s bad enough that the winter Olympics still features an event like the biathlon, combining cross country skiing and *gasp!* shooting. That can be overlooked, though, since it all happens out in the woods and who the hell really watches that anyway? But a gun – even a fake one – in figure skating? Seriously? Is nothing sacred anymore? That’s figure skating pairs team Marissa Castelli and Simon Schnapir (above) doing their James Bond-themed routine in the US championships. And yes, Schnapir is strapped. When they had the gall to repeat the performance yesterday in Sochi, the ever-watchful snarkmeisters at Twitchy wondered if little Bobby Costas would take the opportunity to lecture NBC’s audience on the shocking impropriety of it all. The real question is, how long before Shannon Watts weighs in with her patented mix of disappointment and opprobrium?


  1. avatar Vhyrus says:

    I hope Watts has the gall to say something. It will show the mainstream how batshit she really is.

  2. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    I just mute the TV when ol’ Pink Eye starts talking.

    1. avatar William Burke says:

      I quickly change the channel whenever the *[email protected]•∞¢ figure skating sh*t is on. Or Bob Costas.

  3. avatar Totenglocke says:

    Purely hypothetical situation, but I’m curious how the media would try to spin it negatively if it was a real gun and someone tried to attack the Olympics and he drew his gun and stopped the attacker. Obviously, the news would have to tell us how evil guns are, but it would be impressive to watch them try to justify such an idiotic stance after a man with a gun saved innocent lives.

    1. avatar Model 31 says:

      “I’m curious how the media would” black it out and play rehearsal footage.

    2. avatar Vhyrus says:

      They would never in a million years allow a player in there with a gun, and the moment one tried you would hear “Extremist Olympic terrorist athlete apprehended moments before massive shooting spree.”

    3. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Can you say “Instant LEO?”

  4. avatar Dave says:

    Come on, that’s just shoddy reporting… He is wearing an EMPTY holster; unless the makers of the invisible AR have made the invisible pistol.

    1. avatar lolinski says:

      Shhh. It is a secret, made for us in countries against CC.

    2. avatar Salty Bear says:

      It’s one of those “undetectable firearms.” Good thing we have a law for those, or when there is a gun that we have no idea exists and no way to find out about we wouldn’t be able to confiscate it….. heeeeyyy waitaminute….

    3. avatar Rokurota says:

      Two words: “ghost gun.”

  5. avatar BTinAfghan says:

    What is shocking about a figure skater with a gun. It is a macho sport like baseball. One uses a club while the other razor-sharp blades. Unlike basketball where they fail to utilize a weapon.

    1. avatar lolinski says:

      Figure skaters don’t need guns, they already have those damn knife boots.

      In case you dont get it:

      1. avatar BTinAfghan says:

        grew up on skates and x-country skis.

  6. avatar Model 31 says:

    I didn’t even notice that “Schnapir is strapped” in the picture. I must need to work on my situational awareness.

    1. avatar Adam says:

      I had to read the article. I only noticed Marissa Castelli’s legs. Mind you, I’m more of a Kaetlyn Osmond fan.

  7. avatar Ken says:

    Who the hell watches it? Well, me for one. Watched the men’s 10K sprint online yesterday and the women’s 7.5K this morning. Fit, good looking women skiing around in the woods with rifles? Damn right! Biathlon is a HUGE spectator sport in the snowy countries, i.e., Norway, Sweden, Russia, etc. Too bad it isn’t as popular here.

    1. avatar charles5 says:

      I too watched them. One of the few events I will actually go out of my way to watch.

    2. avatar BTinAfghan says:

      I agree biathlon is awesome. I get the German coverage where every event of the biathlon is covered. Great sport combining two fun activities, what could be better. Also agree in shape women skiing and shooting, win-win.

      1. avatar BTinAfghan says:

        German coverage is much better than British. Brits show curling mostly. No comparison.

        1. avatar Jus Bill says:

          Watching curling can be fun if you consume enough life preserving spirits. I learned that watching in ND.

        2. avatar William Burke says:

          Yeah, I learned that watching curling is somewhat more Zen than watching paint dry, although it takes about the same amount of time.

          I figure that curling is why electric socks were invented.

      2. avatar William Burke says:

        “Great sport combining two fun activities”

        I’m sure you know this, but the statement might imply to the less-informed that the event was created especially for Olympic competition, when actually it has its genesis in northern European ski troops.

    3. avatar lolinski says:

      Skiing brings back nasty flashbacks, I like the sport but I am horrible on skis (I can use them no problem til there is a steep downwards slope).

      1. avatar William Burke says:

        No joke. I hope you’ll join me in asking for more gravity control.

      2. avatar ropingdown says:

        Then, lolinski, you’re definitely out of luck. Having camped from North Cape to Christiania, I only remember a small bit of flat land south of Trondheim. But going down hill is the easy part. OK, admitted, there is that trick part when you get to the bottom.

        1. avatar lolinski says:

          I am usually okay, if I don’t push my luck (i am lucky in the whole “not dying or maiming myself horrbily” department).

          Skiing is fast but I trust my two feet more, especialy where there is tricky terrain.

    4. avatar JAS says:

      Just finished watching the women’s biathlon sprint. WOW! Shooting that well when you are out of breath and your heartbeat is up in the 3 digits is just incredible. The rifles are so cool as well.

    5. avatar neiowa says:

      Just watching the womens biathalon. How is that the US always SUCKS in this. The best finish ever and was a 14th. The antigun Eurowussies can manage to shoot. And ski. But nation of 300million can’t come up with a 6 dozen chicks that can crosscountry (or men)? None of these millions of legals coming (from the North) can ski? CC ski is a GREAT fitness/outdoor sport.

      Perhaps TTAG needs to sponsor though would give the US Olympic committee types a stroke. Could someone teach Kirsten Joy Weiss to ski (though she is built a bit to shapelly too fit in with the Olympic gals).

      1. avatar tdiinva says:

        We generally suck at Nordic events. I think we have won very few medals. I’m sure we shoot but we can’t X-Country ski at the world class level.

        1. avatar William Burke says:

          We have no tradition in that regard, and so will always be playing catch-up.

  8. avatar racer88 says:

    LOL! I posted EXACTLY the same thing (as your title) on my Facebook newsfeed last night as the skaters were on the ice.

  9. avatar Alan Rose says:

    Must be a ghost gun.

  10. avatar Ralph says:

    Maybe Simon Schnapir is a biathlete too.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Oh geez.
      Out loud guffaws here.
      I see what you did there…

    2. avatar jirdesteva says:

      Damned coffee through the nose again!

    3. avatar William Burke says:

      Biathlete? Don’t be silly; he’s a figure skater! 😉

      1. avatar ropingdown says:

        Correct, WB. They only go one way or, more usually, the other.

  11. avatar CoolBreeze72 says:

    BtinAfgan: …they don’t use weapons on the court. Fify

    1. avatar BTinAfghan says:

      What weapon would you be refering to?

  12. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    Looks like a spree killer to me, sure he looks like he’s just having a good time skating but I can clearly see the childrens lives in danger. I’d say sarc off, then I’d just need to turn it on again for the next post, Randy

    1. avatar lolinski says:

      You can clearly see by the picture that he is trying to use that woman as a club to beat the audience to death.

  13. avatar Fred says:

    This is one of the reasons I watch the winter games on a Canadian channel. The announcers aren’t so stupid and at least have an interesting accent on some words.

  14. avatar KCK says:

    Watching the biathlon, I realized I know nothing about the rifles they use.
    Any body out there qualified to give us a run down?

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      Not from Ruger. Europansie stuff in .22.

      Perhaps the US team should show up with 223 in AR variant. I think Rock River could make accurate enough for the job at hand.

    2. Most likely Anschutz rifles, but I noticed that none of them had brand names on them. Only the Sochi stickers.

      1. avatar Ken says:

        Primarily they’re Anschutz 1827, Fortner action 22 long rifle. The Fortner is a straight pull-push action that is extremely fast and allows the rifle to remain in position with little disruption to the shooters position or sight picture. The Russian Izhmash 7-4 is also used. The action is also a straight pull but it’s a toggle mechanism, sort of like a sideways Luger and not nearly as complicated or elegant (or expensive) as the Fortner. Other makes and actions are still in use but since the fall of the Soviet Union most everyone has gone to the 1827.
        I have an 1827, left-hand Fortner. By far the most accurate firearm I own.

    3. avatar ropingdown says:

      I have no fancy details, but do know this: The sport in its early days used 6.5 x 55mm Mauser caliber. Today it is .22LR from bolt or straight-back Fortner-design bolt rifles.

  15. avatar ropingdown says:

    “Do you expect me to talk, Auric?”
    “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to pirouette in perfect synchrony with the music!”

  16. avatar WILD MAN says:

    Gun? What gun? I can’t stop look’n at that chicks legs and a$$.

  17. avatar Mrbadnews says:

    ¿”opprobrium”? Christ on crutches?! Don’t make me google words?

  18. avatar ShaunL. says:

    I guess they’ll have to go to the backup routine wearing a turban and a bomb vest so they don’t offend anyone by showing an evil gun.

    Won’t she look awesome skating in a burqa???

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