Irresponsible Grenade Launcher Owner Of The Day: McGruff The Crime Dog

Image courtesy Van Buren County Sheriff

Texas federal prosecutors took a bite out of crime last week, when a former ‘McGruff The Crime Dog’ actor named John R. Morales was sentenced to 16 years in prison for drugs and weapons charges. Morales was paid to appear in a costume like this one as McGruff The Crime Dog, giving crime-prevention speeches and tips to children. His kibbles, er, troubles all started in 2011 when he was pulled over for speeding. . .

This traffic stop wouldn’t end with a ticket, though, because Morales had stupidly left two diagrams of his indoor marijuana grow operations sitting on the front seat of his car. After a police dog (a real police dog) alerted for the presence of drugs, officers searched the car and obtained a search warrant for Morales’ home.

There they discovered 1,000 pot plants, along with 27 guns, 9,000 rounds of ammo, and a grenade launcher. I’d call that a ‘collection’ instead of ‘arsenal’ but maybe that’s just me.

Okay, But…

Image courtesy Atlantic Firearms

The ‘grenade launcher’ may have gotten all the headlines (including mine) but the actual implement was far more likely a completely-legal 37mm flare launcher like this one.

37mm launchers are not considered destructive devices under the NFA, and they’re not even very expensive. Since 37mm ammo is all novelty rounds like flares, gas, or bird bombs, this ‘grenade launcher’ is likely all bark and no bite.

Source: CBS-Houston


  1. avatar ninjaTED says:

    Weed farm, eh? Maybe that’s why he’s so anxious to take a bite out of crime: It’s not civic duty, he’s got the MUNCHIES!

  2. avatar Your Friendly Neighborhood Anon says:

    And now I want one.

    1. avatar Nine says:

      Me too.

  3. avatar Matt in FL says:

    Because I wrote this story for tomorrow’s Digest, and now I won’t get to use it, I have to give you my last line, because it made me laugh:

    41-year-old Morales pleaded guilty Monday, insisting he was nonviolent. U.S. District Judge Vanessa Gilmore said, “Everything I read about you makes you seem like a scary person.” That’s ruff.

    1. avatar Sixpack70 says:

      So owning a bunch of guns make you scary? I would hate to be judged on how many guns I owned rather than my actual actions in life.

      1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

        Wonder what she read…?

        1. avatar Sixpack70 says:

          There could be more to it, but I was assuming she thought he was scary because of his “arsenal”. He might have a record that shows a pattern of scariness. Or he might just be a pothead who collects guns and doesn’t hurt anyone.

        2. avatar Russ Bixby says:

          Yeah, that’s why I wonder. The details are more than a tidge sketchy.

          Unless he had prismatic viewing blocks and firing slits all ’round his armour-clad rockhouse, he sounds decidedly un-scary.

          1000 plants, though, is more than a pothead. Still, that’s ganga with less blood on it than some. Wonder if he was selling to the nastiest, bloody-turfiest gang out there, or what?

          Any which way, though, li’l Eric’s amigos would not’ve profited by it; wonder if that’s the beef…?

    2. avatar Avid Reader says:

      Maybe she was afraid he’d pee on her leg?

      1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

        He could have told her that he was all bark, and no bite…

    3. avatar Andrew says:

      Just how many weed plants does one need to have an “arsenal” of weed?

      Oh… you meant the gunnnnns 😉

  4. avatar Maineuh says:

    Bad dog! Bad!

  5. avatar WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot says:

    Ruh, roh!

  6. avatar Maineuh says:

    You gotta rub his nose in it. It’s the only way they learn.

  7. avatar Eric says:

    “Bird bomb”? Is that where all shrapnel is #6 shot?

  8. avatar Eric says:

    I just like the sound a 203 makes when launching a projectile.

    1. avatar Avid Reader says:


  9. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Hmmm… Wonder if FPS Russia would care to try that flare launcher with some 37×223mmR…?

  10. avatar jwm says:

    Dog got sent to the pound. Wonder if they’ll neuter him?

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      Don’t really wanna think on the parallels between dog-on-the-street and human-in-prison behaviours.

      Too many points of correlation for comfort…

      1. avatar 16V says:

        From what I’ve heard there’s no sniffing…

        1. avatar jwm says:

          Do dogs normally eat salads? Could be the big difference in human and dog prison.

        2. avatar 16V says:

          Chris Rock FTW… They do both hump each other to demonstrate dominance, but I would imagine in dog prison the nose can make it through the bars.

  11. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    I always thought McGruff was shifty, can’t trust someone who wears a trench coat around kids.

  12. I never trust a dog in a trench coat. Ever.

  13. avatar Darren says:

    So 16 years in prison for owning plants, guns and ammo. THAT is what is scary

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      Doofus’ associates won’t be buffaloed…?

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