OMG! A Sock Monkey! With A Gun! OMG!

It can’t be easy being a TSA agent. Not when you have to enforce stupid rules written by stupid people for stupid reasons. Take the recent example encountered by Phyllis May who was flying home from St. Louis with one of her sock monkey creations, Rooster Monkburn. As relays, “Agents said that it posed a threat because it could be confused for a real gun, according to local reports. ‘[The agent] said ‘this is a gun,’ said Phyllis May, recounting the experience to fly back to her home in Washington state. ‘I said no, it’s not a gun it’s a prop for my monkey.’” Silly Phyllis. Bet you we don’t have to tell you her explanation didn’t cut much ice with the blue-gloved groper who stopped her at the security checkpoint. Crisis averted.    [h/t Victor E.]


  1. avatar ensitue says:

    Anyone flying over the Holidays?
    I dare you to wear a shirt with a firearm motif!

    1. avatar pwrserge says:

      I’ll do you one better.
      “You’re just pissed because I bagged more terrorists than your entire agency. USMC”

    2. avatar (Formerly) MN Matt says:

      I wore a baseball cap with a firearm maker’s logo on it through four airports a few weeks ago – absolutely no one reacted.

  2. avatar Matt in FL says:

    Like, I want to plaster this across CNN and yell


    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      + 5.1 Billion!

      1. avatar Matt in FL says:

        I see what you did there.

  3. avatar Cliff H says:

    And in other news…Am I the only one who has noticed that the cowboy in “Toy Story” (voiced by Tom Hanks of “Saving Private Ryan” fame) has never had a pistol in his holster?

    1. avatar harrycarry says:

      I’ve always found that to be odd.

      1. avatar Lolinski says:

        I thought that symbolized him being old and missing parts. Aka not the “cool” toy which is what makes him so jelaous of Buzz.

    2. avatar Elysium says:

      Although Woody never had a gun. There have been plenty of Pixar films with guns portrayed and fired.

      – Incredibles: has a great 1911 close up. Baddies equipped with MP40s.

      – Cars 2: Mini guns on Tow Mater, Sigs on British agents. Random Pistols on baddies.

      1. avatar David PA/NJ says:

        Yeah but only cops and bad guys can have guns remember?

        1. avatar JasonM says:

          Like Sheriff Woody?

      2. avatar Stuck in CA says:

        Don’t forget the FALs the soldiers carry in Incredibles. Those were nice.

        1. avatar Backyardsniper says:

          Those wern’t MP-40’s they ejected no cases and made electronic noises when the bolts were moved to chamber a round. I suspect that they were a caseless design by syndrome.

  4. avatar DrVino says:

    Meanwhile, somewhere in West Africa:

    1. avatar pwrserge says:

      Thank you sir. You just made my evening.

      1. avatar DrVino says:

        You’re welcome. It’s an oldie but goodie.

    2. avatar Scottlac says:

      THIS wins the internet for the entire day! Perfect post. I will now retire from posting. There is nothing more to add here.

    3. avatar Gregolas says:

      “Who’s evolved NOW?”

  5. avatar Paul G. says:

    I bet that gun violates the undetectable firearms act as well.

    1. avatar ensitue says:

      (That’s what SHE Said!)

  6. avatar Bob says:

    The stupidity of government is infinite.

  7. avatar Will says:

    Probably not a good time to take on TSA because the dead agent is still on the public’s mind. Off course, the control advocates tried to paint the shooter as one of us “law abiding citizens” with an assualt rifle. Can’t see how we advance the Second Amendment cause by speaking against TSA. However, there is the First Amendment which allows us to express it as we see fit.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Well I for one, will publicly state that I hate the tsa and they can KMA.

    2. avatar Matt in FL says:

      “…because the dead agent is still on the public’s mind.”

      I’m curious how you figure that. I haven’t heard a mention of him in at least two weeks, not even from the grabbers.

    3. avatar Ralph says:

      Well, we certainly do not want to agitate any deceased TSA agents. As for the live ones, they can KMA — once for every crime they’e averted. Which means they won’t be doing a whole lot of puckering around my heinie.

      1. avatar LongBeach says:

        I keep my heinie pre-puckered around them…

        1. avatar Chris. says:

          I wouldn’t pucker to much then you might walk funny which could cause them to think you were hiding something which would give them cause to go look.

  8. avatar anon says:

    Is that a .9mm?

    1. avatar Jason says:

      Now that’s funny.

  9. avatar Kathy says:

    All I have to say is; oh my gosh, Rooster Monkburn is about the cutest toy I’ve seen in a while. Would love to have one!

  10. avatar Salty Bear says:

    “Agents said that it posed a threat because it could be confused for a real gun…”

    How do they figure?

    “It poses a threat because it looks like a gun…. even though our team of experts at the TSA have verified that it is actually only a one-inch piece of plastic, it still might be mistaken for a gun by someone… someone who, uh, thinks that one-inch plastic props are real guns and can blow holes in people the size of grapefruits…. We mean grapefruit-sized holes in people, not holes in grapefruit-sized people….. Some people might believe that. And we have to respect their beliefs….. Yea, respect: that’s what it boils down to….. Although, if any grapefruit-sized people were present in the terminal (and we can’t rule that out) there would be an even more serious concern for their safety, because a gun that size could seriously harm them…. yea….”

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      How do they figure?
      Well, if you’re five inches tall…

  11. avatar Bova says:

    Now, let’s be fair. It COULD have been a real gun….

    1. avatar DaveL says:

      Awesome quote from the mini-revolver site:

      The power of the SwissMiniGun Cal. 2.34m/m ammunition is just less than 1 joule.

      We would like to take this opportunity to inform journalists who are interested in writing articles about our product that the power of most airguns or BB guns, which are in many countries freely on sale, can exceed over 10 times the power of our ammunition.

      We do not wish to find on the web the same kind of nonsense article we have found lately.

      I must find these articles they refer to.

  12. avatar Marcus says:

    They should just spank the monkey and be done with it.
    I got nuthin.

    1. avatar Matt in FL says:

      That was not bad, for “nothin.” I laughed.

  13. avatar Jonathan -- Houston says:

    Whenever cop lovers proclaim how the police and military would never allow themselves to be used maliciously against the American public, I point to the TSA and ask when exactly does the “Stop the insanity!” plea go out and who exactly are you expecting to make it?

    1. avatar Salty Bear says:

      The military isn’t so different from the rest of America. Sure, there are plenty of sheeple, but there are also plenty of people who despise the TSA as much as you and I.

      So yes, be afraid of all the sheeple in the military. But remember that some of the most liberty-minded people are in the military. I never saw so many Ron Paul bumper stickers before I joined.

  14. avatar Don Davis says:

    “MUST …. NOT …. BEAT …. CRAP…. OUT …. OF…. IDIOTS !!!!!!” Repeat as necessary while waiting in inspection line.

  15. avatar Tominator says:

    I just ask to ask why….why would you even TRY to go through airport security with an UNCASED sock monkey?…What’s the world coming to?

    Now we need a film with sock monkeys taking over an airplane and holding the passengers hostage… will never guess what the ransom if for….ah ha…hmmmm

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      She had it in her sewing bag. The TSA Inspect-o-bot passed up the scissors and knitting needles to single out the monkey’s gun. Because the TSA Inspect-o-bot has no functioning brain, only sensors.

  16. avatar gs650g says:

    Confused for a real gun like TSA is confused for real security.

  17. avatar A-Rod says:

    Civilians said that the TSA posed a threat because it could be confused for a real police.

  18. avatar BillC says:

    Meanwhile, GI Joes are now on notice and on the Terrorist watch list, even the ones with the broken thumbs.

  19. avatar tommyr says:


  20. avatar Mark says:

    Boy that sock puppet looks dangerous! I wonder what the waiting period is for his weapon. Glad to see TSA (Thousands Standing Around) is keeping us safe.

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