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Didn’t win the holster last week? Not a problem, you have another shot this week courtesy SHTF Gear. And they’ll even throw in one of their T-shirts, too. Make a funny and post it by midnight Sunday to be eligible. And if you want to collect the swag, be sure to enter a valid email address, too.

[photo h/t Billy W.]

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229 Responses to Weekend Photo Caption Contest- Win a SHTF Gear Holster and T-Shirt

    • Thanks for the idea:
      Yeah Heston, you say it was only a movie, but that was my wife you were makn’ out with.
      I will knock that Kentucky Rifle out of your hands.

    • Very good although you misspelled the sounds. It is more like this:
      Ooh, eee, ooh, ah ah, ting, tang, wanna wanna big bang!

  1. Just because I have a tail, they call be a stupid monkey, well, just watch the reaction of those big apes when I shoot their banana in two!

  2. Pulling overwatch while the rest of your pack gets to go “all rampagey and shit” on the local villagers sucks dick.

  3. In response to continuing difficulties in recruiting efforts, the armed forces experiment with some alternative options.

    • Better yet …

      We all know about the Navy’s “secret” training program which uses porpoises to guard harbors and place explosives on ships. Not to be outdone, the Marines are now training monkeys to be the “tip of the spear” in the next “shock and awe” campaign.

  4. Right Turn Clyde this, Right Turn Clyde that. F*&& that, what does he think I am some kind of circus aminal? Next time he says Right Turn Clyde, I’ll got his right turn right here.

  5. After his Hollywood star faded, Bonzo sought work as a predator control specialist for western ranchers. Using a cherished momento from the Gipper, Bonzo supplemented his meager screen actors pension with bounty paid by the cattlemen’s association.

  6. To cover Obama’s safety during his safari Alpha team leader was chosen to wear the latest in ghillie suit fashion…

  7. SSGT. Pickles demonstrates the (Brown) Advanced Natural Native Active Nonchalant Neutralizing Ambushment System (BANNANNAS), developed by Federal Armed Legion Systems Enterprises, during joint military contract evaluations for the Simian Approximation Replacement Camouflage (SARC) program.

  8. I’m going to be a buzzkill and note that this baboon is likely posed with the gun used to kill him. I would never disrespect an animal I had hunted like this.

    • i doubt he was hunted as much as he was eradicated. That rig in the background looks like a common mobile irrigation system that farmers use worldwide. A troop of baboons can cut into a farmers livelyhood quite deeply. I don’t see this picture as being any different than a picture of any hunter and his kill. Or a roomfull of trophy heads or as the old timers back home used to do, deer racks all over the front of the barn.

      I’m more curious as to how many of the troop got dropped by that lee enfield.

  9. Day 3: The missing link has yet to be found.
    Day 5: We have lost half of our men, he is still out there and hunting
    Day 6: Repeated airstrikes have been unsuccessful. We have resorted to using napalm.

    Day 17: I’m all that’s left, I know he’s still on the prowl.
    Day 19: He got me, my strength fades as I write, tell my family I love them. Mission aborte….

  10. Diane Feinstein’s formative years were marred by a tragic eye injury, inspiring an illustrious career crusading against firearm related eye injuries.

  11. A trunk monkey has escaped. If you see him, please call 911 immediately. Do not attempt to detain him. Police have described him as armed and dangerous.

  12. So, I was sitting by the fire, drinking ape-ricot brandy playing cards with the natives.

    Zulus?

    No, I usually won. But we were playing for chimp change.

    When, one of the guys goes apish!t and says, “Kenya stop calling me a monkey?” He grabs a gun and screams, “I’m a baboon dammit!”

    Needless to say, I switched to capuchin-o after that.
    The trip turned into a complete baboondoggle.

  13. “If you’re lucky Cape Town’s baboons will just throw feces at you.”
    “What if I’m unlucky?”

    or

    Winner of the design your own lee Enfield contest

  14. or

    “We told him we put him on our protected species list so he promised to keep us off his endangered humans list.”

  15. yall need to take this down before Dirk Diggler sees… He’ll lose it all over his computer if he sees Mrs. Watts aiming a rifle.

  16. [mumbling] Guerrilla Warfare?…. Guerrilla Warfare!… No man….. you’ve got it aaaallllll wrong man…. You’ll see! Yoooouuuull see!

  17. As a form of social bonding, monkeys will often engage in sport or groom one another and pick off bugs. The most skilled among them can pick off a bug from 100 yards.

  18. Decided to skip the whole Rock, Club, Knife, Spear, Axe, Atlatl, Bow and Arrow, Sword, Crossbow thing (who needs evolution) and go straight to the good stuff.

  19. This beats the shit out of using a stick to get those bushbabies.
    (youtube it if you’ve never seen it)

  20. News item: In one of the odder twists in the sad saga of the sequester, national party supply chain Party City has entered the winning bid in the Pentagon’s GSRP (Ghillie Suit Replacement Program) with their exclusive Kevlar Monkey Suit.

  21. Baboon Command: Ook, ook, ook-ook

    Baboon-1: Ook ook. Ook?

    Baboon Command: Ook

    *BANG*

    Baboon Command: Ook? Ook ook, ook-ook?!

    Baboon 1: …Ook.

    • Due to the ammo shortage, bobo developed an method to turn poo in to bullets. Unfortunately, the accuracy is crap.

  22. After successfully completing the works of Shakespeare, George embarked on something a little more fulfilling.

  23. Child: “Mommy, I don’t think I Like this zoo”

    Mother: “Shh, you don’t want to upset the animals, we’re in a gun free zone”

  24. Got a liberal square in the crosshairs and the elephant forgot to bring the mag with the ammo! Elephants never forget my asterisk!

  25. Bobo the Russian monkey grew weary of the German monkeys invading his territory and decided to do something about it…

  26. “We were in the veldt, fighting the baboons. We applied Rule .303. We caught them and we shot them under Rule .303!”

  27. First they came for the liberals and I did nothing. I’m not a liberal.

    Then they came for the communists and I did nothing. I’m not a communist.

    Then they came for the academics and i did nothing. I’m not an academic.

    Then they came for the Jews and I did nothing. I’m not a Jew.

    Then they came for Baboons with Lee-Enfields. It was either fight or walk into the ovens.

  28. Caption:
    Alerted to a potential threat from rogue Apes with AK’s in the area,
    Baboom the Snaper assumes a defensive posture.

  29. Everyone always goes on about the 800 lb gorilla in the room. Let’s see how they like the 80 lb chimp on the next ridge.

  30. There once was a baboon named Bill
    Who had a license to kill
    He tried just stopping
    Instead, went melon popping
    And thought it all in goodwill

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