Ban Sideline Ballistics!

How ’bout them Hawgs? They all seem to be OK, thankfully. Not only did the Razorbacks take down their opening week patsy opponent 34-14 yesterday, but Big Red and Sue E. apparently escaped serious injury despite a gun-related incident. According to, “An Arkansas athletic department employee injured a leg Saturday when a T-shirt gun apparently malfunctioned during the first half of the Razorbacks’ victory over Louisiana-Lafayette.” Ah, a “malfunction.” Was it a rule four violation? A de-gassing goof-up? The world may never know. “A police officer was seen afterward holding the T-shirt gun, which is used to fire shirts into the crowd.” Whatever happened, it seems unlikely that the university will lose their t-shirt gun privileges, even in the wake of a possible ND. Go figure.


  1. avatar JaredFromTampa says:

    No joke, those things are dangerous. I got shot with a t-shirt pretty much point blank in the stomach before a USF game a few years ago. Knocked the wind right out of me. Worst of all, the shirt was way too small 🙁

    1. avatar Stinkeye says:

      Isn’t that how Houdini died?

      In any case, I’m sure the cheerleader or mascot involved will be put on administrative leave with pay while the incident is investigated.

  2. avatar Ralph says:

    If Cali finally enacts AB711, hunters in the Golden State will be using lead free T-shirts to take deer. The shirts are environmentally friendly, soft as little bunny tails and the endangered California Condors can use them to wipe their @sses. It’s a win-win-win!

    Hey, I have an idea. Maybe we can use these to punish Syria.

    1. avatar JaredFromTampa says:

      As is often the case, your comment just made my day. I salute you sir.

    2. avatar Avid Reader says:

      Only if it’s fair trade, organically grown, non-GMO cotton, you know. . .

      Although there’s still that CO2 issue.

  3. avatar Blehtastic says:

    I dunno, I trust the pressure containment abilities of a cordite powered firearm far more that the plastic and rubber components that make these things up. Wouldn’t surprise me if the thing just ‘sploded.

  4. avatar Leadbelly says:

    Thank goodness they’ve taken those deadly salad shooters off the market.

  5. avatar jwm says:

    Isn’t this the type of gun that killed the Mrs. Flanders?

    1. avatar JaredFromTampa says:

      Yep. It sure as diddly did.

  6. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Ban silk-screened firearms!

  7. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    It takes Real Men of Genius to invent such a thing. But to have access to operate it? Apparently not so much. Here’s a classic you may remember from the late 90’s:

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      A fact not often remembered: the Real Men of Genius ads started out as “Real American Hero” ads in 1998. The ads were pulled after 9/11 and relaunched in 2002 with the change from Real American Heroes to Real Men Of Genius.

      My favorite was the giant foam finger guy ad. There really is such a guy, named Steve Chmelar, who made the first one in 1971. Chmelar’s quite p1ssed abut Miley Cyrus’ recent sexual use of his finger. Well, not his actual finger. I guess he’d be okay with that. But she degraded the foam finger, and that was very naughty.

      And now you know the rest of the story.

      1. avatar Matt in FL says:

        Thanks for pointing that out, Ralph. Immediately what I thought of when I read the comment above. Yet one more thing lost, for better or worse, to the world of politically correct bullshit.

        1. avatar Rich Grise says:

          Maybe they were afraid Ed Snowden would get a spot.

  8. avatar C says:

    When’s the tshirt cannon buy back?

  9. avatar jim says:

    I was explaining to my nephew, who works for a micro-brewery and travels a lot, that dropping water balloons from hotel balconies is juvenile and sophomoric. However, using a funnel to pour warm Jello/ water mix into balloons, tying them off, and letting them set in the room mini-fridge for a few hours… huge fun. (I try so hard to be a good role model to the lad; to quote my governor “I aspire to inspire before I expire.”) Now I have the darnedest urge to make a compressed-air Jello-balloon gun….

  10. avatar sindaan says:

    If just one crappy T shirt can be saved…

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