I don’t think it’s any secret that my second marriage was something of a nightmare. I’m not saying there were ballistic issues but I am saying that the last Mrs. Farago didn’t have the combination to my gun safe. Which had absolutely nothing to do with my sudden interest in retention holsters. But seriously folks, Anna Benson. “‘The “Baseball Wives’ star was arrested on Monday after she allegedly donned a bulletproof vest, barged into her estranged husband’s Marietta, Ga. home, and threatened him with a gun and a metal baton unless he gave her $30,000,” foxnews.com reports. “Kris [Benson], 38, said he appeased her by saying he was leaving to get money, but instead called police.” Actually, it was way worse than that . . .
“According to the incident report, Anna smashed her ex’s computer with the baton and wore an ammo belt, which police later found when they searched her. They also found that she had a knife with her . . .
Anna claimed she did nothing wrong and was surprised when police arrested her. She told police she went to Kris’ home to discuss their issues. She said she wore the bulletproof vest because she was “testing [it] for a company” and “had to wear it for an extended time.”
Here’s hoping she has to wear an ankle bracelet for an extended time, too. Not that it would make much difference to Mr. Benson’s self-defense strategy. Clearly, his wife has graduated Bunny Boiler U and embarked on a graduate degree in Suffer and Die. Not to put too fine a point on it, it’s time to tool-up Chris.
Of course he could have avoided the whole situation by not tooling up in the first place (i.e. having sexual intercourse with Anna). At the risk of generalizing, the more beautiful a woman the more bat-shit crazy she’s likely to be. I know: your wife/significant other is the exception that proves the rule. That’s what you say now . . .
And here’s what I say: if you’re going to do the horizontal mambo with something so gorgeous you can hear men yelp in pain from spousal shin kicks as you walk through a restaurant don’t tell her about you backup gun. If you know what I mean.