No matter what. Even if you’re tired. Or have a tee time in the morning. As it turns out, Keith Wiens, a retired Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman, is a sexual welcher. And as a result, he’s now defending himself in a Canadian court against a second-degree murder charge for shooting his wife, Lynn Kalmring, in the head. As he testified this week, on the day of the shooting back in 2011, “they drank alcohol, ate dinner, then played Nintendo Wii video games. He said the two often made bets of a sexual nature on the games. He lost the bet that night, and when he went to bed around 10:40 p.m., found sex toys on his pillow . . .
…but moved them aside because he wanted to rest up for a golf game the next day. He said Kalmring became upset when she saw that he was not in the mood to settle the bet.
So by losing to the Mrs at Mario Kart, Weins wrote a check his libido couldn’t cash. And when his wife realized he had no intention of doing the dance with no pants, things got, well, heated. After all, a bet’s a bet and she just wouldn’t let the matter drop. He’d promised her satisfaction and she wanted it. So to speak.
He eventually told her to pack her things and go live with her kids. At that, “I would say that she snapped,” Wiens said, and after a final expletive-filled tirade, she left again. Wiens said he then armed himself with the handgun he kept in his beside table because he feared for his life.
“She was not Lynn. She was crazy and she’d just assaulted me when I was sound asleep, and I was worried about what was coming next.”
Soon, he said, she re-entered the bedroom with a knife and rushed at him.
“I backed up … and I lifted up my gun and I shot her,” Wiens said, his voice rising in pitch and growing quieter.
The local ME, though, is skeptical of the story.
…a forensic pathologist testified he believed the knife found in Kalmring’s hand by police was placed there after her death, because she would have dropped it if she’d been holding it when she was shot.
Again, no one’s ever happy when a promise is broken. And now a woman is dead, all because her Mountie wouldn’t mount her.