Putin: In Russia Everything is AK

“During a visit here,” indiatimes.com reports. “Putin watched as the [Olympic] torch was taken apart and put back together, prompting him to quip that the torch’s gas pipe resembles the barrel of the famous Soviet-designed weapon. ‘No matter what you try and make in Russia, it always turns out like a Kalashnikov,’ he joked. Putin’s remark drew smiles from International Olympic Committee (IOC) president Jacques Rogge and Sochi 2014 chief organiser Dmitry Chernyshenko. Russian internet users have compared the silver-and-red torch’s shape to a flame used in the logo for Russian state gas firm Gazprom.” Which is completely different and not nearly as funny. And anyway, the new Russian torch looks like a New Age battle axe. Just sayin’ . . .


  1. avatar JTPhilly says:

    I definitely read this headline in my Teddy KGB voice: “Geev dat man his myunny”.

    1. avatar Pulatso says:

      Oreos flying everwhere.

  2. Are we allowed to trade our Dear Leader for Putin. I would take that guy in a heartbeat.

    1. avatar Pwrserge says:

      Agreed, he may be also be a repressive dictator, but at least this one has a sense of humor. I’d love to see an Obama campaign commercial of O’bung’hole wrestling a bear.

      1. avatar Saul Feldstein says:

        Putin throws degenerate sexual deviants in prison, Obama calls to tell them how courageous they are.

        1. avatar Billy Wardlaw says:

          Yes, I believe Hilter did as well…oh, and what was that other undesirable group he had a problem with? Saul, help me out on this one. I bet Putin would know.

        2. avatar Pwrserge says:

          Billy, you seem to be lost, Huff-po is on your other browser window. You have just officially lost the argument by playing the Hitler card.

        3. avatar Swarf says:

          So the only opinions allowed around here are ones you agree with, pwrserge?

          Get bent.

          Also, it’s not Godwining if the comparison is apt.

        4. avatar Pwrserge says:

          That’s right swarf, we totally hear about Putin shoving people into cattle cars. [/sarcasm] Goodwin’s law. Your argument is invalid.

        5. avatar Billy Wardlaw says:

          I thought the Hitler comparison was apt, since he is so well known for removing/jailing/killing inconvenient and officially undesirable people. I thought it considerabely pertinent in rebuke of such a statement by someone named Saul Feldstein, but perhaps I should have said Stalin, or is there a Stalin card that I am unaware of.
          And while many of today’s dictators, Putin specifically, are much more subtle than “shoving people into cattle cars” they none the less avail themselves of the expediency in removing them – something I would never praise and wish for in this country, especially while we actually stand on the brink of doing just such.

        1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

          Uh-bama on the bike.
          Keyboard clean up over here

        2. avatar jwm says:

          Oh lord, Urkel in his short bus gear. Did they airbrush out the training wheels?

  3. avatar jwm says:

    The Russia that I squared off against all those years ago in the cold war was a backwards, inefficient, crude place. Most of their gear resembled the AK. Crude, rude, nasty, but it worked. If the olympic torch is built like the AK you could burn the world down with that fvcker.

    1. avatar sagebrushracer says:

      Just like the AK! 🙂

      1. avatar Ropingdown says:

        Or the RPD. And I couldn’t, back in the day, count the number of times some fellow soldier said “Why the hell don’t we have RPG’s?”

        1. avatar jwm says:

          Yeah, that does jar a memory. The rpg was on our wish list.

    2. avatar Southern Cross says:

      Here’s an online article that should provide some interesting reading.


      Even the leadership doubted their own Army’s capability so they maintained the facade (or in Russian, the maskarovka) of looking strong.

      The Soviet Army of the Cold War era was NOT the Red Army that crushed the Nazis. And don’t forget that about 90% of the German Forces (about 280 divisions) were on the Eastern Front. The Western Allies only faced about 30 divisions of which only 10 were actual full-strength frontline divisions. The rest were occupation forces and medical convalescing units.

  4. avatar Saul Feldstein says:

    With all respect to the memory of Gen. Patton, the AK is the best battle implement ever devised.

    1. avatar CyborgCowboy says:

      Well, Patton never did live to the AK in action. That said, had he lived, it’s possible the AK would not have been invented. Possible.

  5. avatar Roll says:

    I love my AK, its a Chinese made AK, but bottom line it’s an AK.

  6. avatar Wendigo says:

    An AK a day keeps the burglars away.

  7. avatar Ralph says:

    Putin is twice the man that Obama is, and so Putin could kick Obama’s @ss. Hillary could kick Putin’s @ss for exactly the same reason.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      If Putin had sharp wooden stakes, silver bullets and holy water he might stand a chance against Hellery. But yeah, he’d totally kick barry’s azz.

      1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

        For much the same reason you will never see Billery in a mini skirt.
        Her balls would show.

      2. avatar Pwrserge says:

        Naww, in Soviet Russia we kill tranny former Secretary of State with americium bullets. Both ironic and radioactive.

        1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:


  8. Looks like a sword to me.

  9. avatar Mr. Bob says:

    Looks wicked AND if there is a zombie apocalypse, you’re ready to slash and burn.

  10. avatar Saul Feldstein says:

    In reference to above, Putin vs. Obama, we are very lucky to live under Obamas beneficent gaze, in a land where we live free from invasive govt scrutiny, and our leader would never have political dissidents like Bradley Manning or Mark Basseley Youssef (the youtube video maker who caused the Libyan embassy protest) thrown into a gulag.

    Obama we thank thee for protecting the rights of NAMBLA in the Boy Scouts. The savage Putin would have thrown the NAMBLAites into box cars.

  11. avatar Ropingdown says:

    If it helps to soften the image: Putin recently bought a very nice house in the hills above Marbella, southern Spain. Anything goes in that town. Anything. Maybe that’s part of why he just announced his divorce from his long-time wife Lyudmilla? And maybe the divorce is why he just released more shooting-hunting-judo type photos? http://www.businessinsider.com/photos-badass-bachelor-vladimir-putin-2013-6#

    1. avatar g says:

      Dude is a judo expert, ex-KGB, shoots AKs, rides horses, and drives fast things. He’s like Russian James Bond, so I’m sure he’ll have no problem meeting lots of ladies…

  12. avatar Rich Grise says:

    Yeah, and the Washington Monument is a big phallic symbol. So what?

    1. avatar إبليس says:

      Wait until you see the Clinton monument.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        The Clinton monument is going to be a group of ugly women in the back of a pickup truck on cinder blocks. I mean really, the POTUS couldn’t do better than Monica Lewinsky and Paula what’sherface?

        1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

          They like ’em trashy in Arkansas.

        2. avatar Southern Cross says:

          During the Clinton era there was no difference between the whitehouse.gov and whitehouse.com. One was the site for the official home of the President. The other was a porn site.

  13. avatar Rich Grise says:

    So, I finally looked at the video. Where do you guys see anything that looks remotely like a rifle? I see what looks like a big machete with a hole in it – is that the subliminal part? Admittedly, it’s reminiscent of a gas company logo:

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