Obscure Object of Desire: Ashens Space Gun

Back in the day, I was writing a magazine article at my desk in London SW3. For three days I endured the sound of a jackhammer just outside my window. As far as I could tell it was a completely pointless exercise; the hole created by this ear-splitting, teeth chattering din didn’t seem to get any larger or, for that matter, serve any particular purpose. I lost it. I ran out and yelled at the sole workman to shut off his bleeping hammer. “What are you drilling?” I demanded. “The road,” he replied. And that’s how I survived 18 years in The Land of Hope and Glory. And here’s some of the funniest English accented material I’ve heard since John Cleese’s heyday.


  1. avatar jwm says:

    Wow, just Wow. Are the limeys really such safety Nazis or is that laser thingy in a crap kids toy really harmful?

    1. avatar dlj95118 says:

      …*any* laser-in-the-eye is not a good thing.

      But I liked the gun!

    2. avatar CA.Ben says:

      Any exposure of the iris to laser light can lead to iris separation later in life. Happened to my old music teacher, you have to be super careful with all lasers.

  2. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    OH I so want one, ok maybe two lol It will drive my wife nuts hahahaha!!!
    He is right though it is a great replica for those of us scifi fans. A little paint and some elbow grease and bam! 🙂

    1. avatar Bruce says:

      Could make a good steampunk gun.

  3. avatar Dave357 says:

    Bring one to school, go to jail. OK, maybe not, but a minimum 10-month suspension is guaranteed.

  4. avatar G says:

    I already ordered a Kydex holster.

  5. avatar SGC says:

    Kinda reminds me of the Blade Runner pistol…

  6. avatar janitor says:

    i actually saw a group of kids playing guns at the park yesterday and no one freaked out.

    1. avatar William says:

      It depends on the state. Nobody looks twice around Richmond. Except maybe West Avenue.

  7. avatar Gareth A says:

    Longtime reader. first comment IIRC.

    Pretty sure that’s from the Poundland shop (our version of a dollar store). There’s also a load of cheap shops that’d do them.

    If you’re serious about wanting one, I’d happily keep a lookout.

  8. avatar JuanCudz says:

    John Cleese had a hayday? Must have missed that one.

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