Vice President Biden: Guns Should Shoot Chocolate Bullets

VP Joe Biden hearts chocolate bullets (courtesy

“I think guns should shoot out chocolate bullets,” Myles Nelson. a 7-year-old second-grader at Milwaukee’s Downtown Montessori Academy wrote to Vice President Joe “Double Barrel” Biden. “Then no one will get killed and no one will be sad.” Vice President Biden wrote back [as above]: “I really like your idea. If we had guns that shot chocolate not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. People love chocolate. You are a good boy.” Click here to see the young lad read his meshuggah missive. Or not. Meanwhile, TTAG’s contacted the YouTube guy who weaponized gummy bears.


  1. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    So, the guards that protect o’s kids are loading up with chocolate bullets? Oh, pardon me, thats “completely” different. His kids are what you “special” & require real “killer” bullets. Randy

  2. avatar SCS says:

    Up yours, Slow Joe.

  3. avatar InBox485 says:

    Get them some chocolate bullets… cuz b!tches love chocolate.

  4. avatar Joel says:

    Y’know RF, Freud said “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” By that I mean JB was talking to a 7 year old child. What would you have him do, invite the kid out to the range and hand him a packet of NRA literature? “Double Barrel” Joe says plenty of stupid things, and no doubt will continue to do so but this isn’t one of those times. And if we ever do get some chocolate ammo, if it comes in .380 put me down for a box or two. Sometimes ya just gotta lighten up, especially when it involves a kid this young.

    1. avatar Peally says:

      Yep, Joe might be straight up crazy but it’s just a little kid he’s talking to, not a big deal.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Agreed. My fear about chocolate bullets is I got 2 fat anti gun sisters. The ammo shortage we see now is nothing if them 2 heifers get to thinking bullets are chocolate.

        1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

          matt wants to know if they are married?

        2. avatar jwm says:

          One of my sisters and matt. I wouldn’t do that to matt.

      2. avatar Tim says:

        It was an easy correspondence since they are on equal intellectual ground. No offense to the kid intended. He’s probably actually smarter than ole Joe.

    2. avatar Bruce says:

      Actually I kind of like the idea, or maybe marshmallows. * grins *

      1. avatar Bob Wall says:

        Bruce – Semi-auto S’mores?

    3. avatar Old Ben turning in grave says:

      Yeah, this. As long as they don’t push policy decisions based on the oppinions of 7 year olds.

  5. avatar JLR says:

    I kind of have trouble working up my outrage-o-meter over this one.

    Of course a 7 year old came up with a completely impractical and silly idea. The point of these kinds of responses is to encourage a child for thinking independently and writing a letter to an elected official. Not to engage in a serious policy debate.

    When I was in the 5th grade we had an assignment to write an editorial. The “best” one was submitted and ran in the local newspaper. Mine was selected from the bunch.

    Mine was probably picked because I was a decent writer who could actually string together coherent sentences, because I can tell you I certainly don’t stand by the actual idea I conveyed in that editorial as an adult.

    1. avatar Peter says:

      I agree. It’s kind of cute. The headline is sensational and leads one to believe Biden is coming up with this idea and promoting it as serious. Reminds me of what the MSM does.

  6. avatar Not Me says:

    So will he take responsibility when a kid stuffs some M&M’s in his dad’s shotgun and blows away his sister? “Aw, isn’t that cute, a kid thinks guns should shoot chocolate, let’s encourage that idea.” Why are people not tearing him a new one over this and the “blast both barrels through the door” crap? (I mean, I know why, but WTF?)

    While I’m commenting anyway I’d appreciate if TTAG could run an Irresponsible Gun (stuff) Co. of the Day on this: I didn’t see a post on this on here and this is the sort of thing that gun blogs need to get out in front of and tear a company like this apart for being so stupid and disgusting. Lots of deaths and injuries with guns are to ex-girlfriends and ex-wives and it’s no f’ing joke. Even if you actually were a horrible misogynist and don’t care, it looks bad for gun owners when these things happen, and joking/encouraging that behavior is NOT acceptable. We (not to mention the NRA) need to be more proactive in telling companies like this that it’s totally unacceptable to market something like this. (If you already posted about it, forgive me.)

    1. avatar Peter says:

      Oh come on. He’s corresponding with a 7 year old kid. You sound as hyper-sensitive and over-the-top as the left.

      And saying that target dummy is promoting domestic violence? Really? Really…? So anyone who doesn’t care about this zombie dummy target is a misogynist?

      Besides who cares what kind of violence it is — gun violence, domestic violence, whatever. The same kind of thought is what the left does — “We have to eliminate GUN/DOMESTIC/HATE violence” Why distinguish? If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.

      1. avatar Not Me says:

        I was hoping that responsible gun owners might want to be proactive about cleaning up their ranks, and not ignoring or defending such a disgusting product as “The Ex”, a female humanoid target that bleeds when you shoot it. I’m just trying to tell you that it looks horrible to everyone who is not already on our side, and makes it look like we are all fine with people exacting bloody fantasy revenge on their ex-wives/girlfriends. Scared ex-girlfriends/wives are exactly the kinds of people who can become great advocates for gun rights, but if they see this kind of crap being defended or written off as “fun” or whatever they are going to feel very unwelcome.

  7. avatar Jeff O. says:

    7.62xDelicious anyone?

  8. avatar Ing says:

    You know, I wouldn’t mind at all if guns only shot chocolate. it’d actually be pretty awesome. But only if ALL guns were somehow only capable of shooting chocolate. You don’t want to be the idiot who loaded up chocolate when the bad guys are slinging lead.

    1. avatar John L. says:

      Or those nasty “undetectable” carob rounds…

      Still, most anything hitting at ~2000 feet per second would hurt.

  9. avatar Ralph says:

    Sure, a chocolate-shooter. Then some poor kid can bring one to a park in NYC, some self-absorbed beyotch will call the cops and the kid’s dad will get arrested.

    I’ve seen this movie before.

  10. avatar NS says:

    double barrel chocolate slugs?

  11. avatar Don says:

    Could this actually be another Biden gaff? His support for chocolate bullets goes against Michelle’s child obesity fight!

  12. avatar Major says:

    I think RF posted this to show how indoctrinated kids are against guns, to assume that guns are inherently bad, that they hurt people and make them sad. I know when I was 7, I had a respect of firearms, and knew that they could be dangerous, but that they had a very important place in life. I guess I just had good parents.

    Also, taofledermaus is awesome.

  13. avatar Bob says:

    I was reading the comments on the gummy bear video, and apparently the same guys are coincidentally preparing chocolate bullets! They planned to shoot them this weekend.

  14. avatar Steve says:

    Not very nice to people who are lactose intolerant, veep.

    1. avatar Castle says:

      Why not? Chocolate doesn’t have to have milk in it.

  15. avatar Joel says:

    Today’s special at Walmart, the deluxe variety pack of chocolate ammo, includes an assortment of 12 calibers, in your choice of milk or dark chocolate. And don’t forget to pick up an extra box for grandma. Also, just in time for Father’s Day, the new 12 ga. Pez dispenser.

    1. avatar C says:

      You just gave me an idea. I’ll wager that pez would perform admirably from a scattergun. Weekend science, here i come!

  16. Oh come on. It was a nice sentiment to a little kid. What else was he supposed to say?

    It isn’t all a conspiracy.

  17. avatar ZM 1306 says:

    The ammo exists we just need to develop the gun…

  18. avatar Ensitue says:

    You KNOW that’s Racist!

  19. avatar Kvjavs says:

    In all fairness, I would love a gun that shot chocolate. As long as it wasn’t of deadly velocity, I would Kurt Cobain myself every night.

  20. avatar JPT says:

    Just wait till Bloomy finds out. All candy bullets larger than a .22lr will be banned!

  21. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    When I was 7 guns shot bullets and my friends and I had to liberate the neighborhood from the Nazis with our fake guns we made from wood and pipes. I’m sure we would have been arrested in today’s world. Have you ever seen such a frightening sight as 5-6 kids with fake guns patrolling the street for imaginary Nazis?

    1. avatar Joel says:

      I always had cap pistols, a Davey Crockett cap musket, and my little neighborhood “army” was always fighting the bad guys. And look, I grew up ok. Well, except for the voices in my head, but otherwise ok.

  22. avatar Peter says:

    Although if that happened in some states they might ban armor-piercing chocolate which has peanuts or almonds inside, or require a license to purchase any more than five-piece boxes at a time. Not to mention what Michelle Obama would say about it… you might have to prove you have a low enough body fat % to own those chocolate bullets.

  23. avatar Silver says:

    Isn’t it telling when an idiot kid’s fantasyland idea sounds more practical than anything a leftist comes up with?

    “Then no one will get killed and no one will be sad.”

    Except those murdered by knives, clubs, cars, bombs, fire and everything else people have been killing each other with for millenia. Except now, good people won’t be able to defend themselves.

    “I really like your idea. If we had guns that shot chocolate not only would our country be easier for tyrants to control, it would be more victimized. People love chocolate. You are a good slave.”

    Fixed. If I were this boy’s parents, he’d be grounded ’til he grew a brain.

    1. avatar ripvw32 says:

      Dude.. he is all of seven years old.. I probably grew up in as harsh conditions as anyone on this comment section, indoctrinated into just how unjust the world is, with a completely overbearing father who demanded perfection at the end of a steel threaded leather belt when it wasn’t met. Working as hard as a man twice my size at 7, learning how to shoe horses, slaughter pigs, clean wild game and my all time favorite – pulling feathers out of assorted fowl (domestic and wild game), mucking stalls, tossing hay, building barns and roofing 40 feet in the air.. And I STILL would have loved a gun that shot chocolate at that age.. WTF is wrong with you, didn’t have as happy a childhood as me???? Get over yourself.

  24. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    I hate to break a 7 year old’s bubble, but 124 grains of chocolate traveling at 1250 feet per second is still going to rip a big old hole in your body.

    1. avatar Joel says:

      Oh, but the wound would be delicious.

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        Chocolate blood sausage!?!

  25. avatar Dracon1201 says:

    You know, this is pretty cool. The kid had a wonderful idea for world peace in the purest way a child can think, and the Vice President actually responded to him. This may not work out spectacularly in any way for our side, but this is a nice little reminder that children can still think this way and restored my faith in humanity a bit.

  26. avatar In Memphis says:

    I think this is a job for the Mythbusters, ballistics gel, and a shotgun with slugs replaces by Hershey Kisses.

    Anyways as much as I loathe Biden, he is responding to a seven year old child. To ignore him would be rude, to respond with the intalectual level a man of his age should be at, would be assanine.

    1. avatar C says:

      Going to try the kisses. Also, Biden responded on the intellectual level on which he actually is.

    2. avatar Gyufygy says:


  27. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Gives new meaning to “eat this, copper!”

  28. avatar pat says:

    Dear everyone. This is completely off topic, but today I found this article via facebook.

    The commentators on this article, as well as the people who infest the entire site, are the biggest bunch of brainwashed liberal trolls I have yet to see on the interwebs. I call upon the armed intelligentsia to assist me in squashing their tiny brains via logical argument. I’m commenting on their under “CP”, and it’s so lonely being the sole voice of reason…

    Also, haven’t looked yet but given their fawning over Obama (the pic in the linked article is literally Obama wearing sunglasses walking away from an explosion), I’m sure this site has plenty of inflammatory citizen disarmament articles.

  29. avatar إبليس says:

    Buy a Hershey. Buy a Hershey.

  30. avatar Conrad says:

    It’s less important what the kid thought as what the VP did to actually write a _handwritten_ reply. I’m sorry, but in the great scheme of things, that counts for something; so brownie points to the VP. Not as much as, “we live in an area that’s wooded and somewhat secluded…”, nah that’s sticking with him forever:

    Now that I think about it, double barrel shotguns with buckshot have to be one of the most archaic and dangerous weapons out there… no safeties, light triggers, accidental misfires, geez…

  31. avatar Lucas D. says:

    Can’t fault the kid; kids aren’t known for being the most dependable problem solvers anyway.

    What scares me is that Cap’n Joe probably thinks it really is a good idea, just like how he wishes they would invent 24-hour crash helmets that don’t chafe his ears so much, and special graham crackers that don’t make such a mess when he rams them into his stupid retard face.

  32. avatar Nine says:

    Can you imagine how much chocolate ammo would ‘gum’ up your gun?

    1. avatar Joel says:

      AHHH, but then, you see, what we do is we have the good folks at M&M Mars make candy coated chocolate bullets, just like M&Ms. The new advertising slogan; “They melt in your mouth, not in your barrel”

  33. avatar GS650G says:

    I don’t think Rick Harrison would pay very much for that piece of famous person history. Biden signed docs will be in the discount bin.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email