Zero Tolerance Government Functionary of the Day: Dr. Deran Whitney

Institutional hoplophobia knows no bounds where government schools are concerned. The most innocuous, everyday item, when accompanied by the right sounds or trigger cocking motion, can (and will) be treated as a threat to another student, followed by swift and harsh punishment. Proportionality be damned. The latest wanton offender is a Suffolk (Virginia) Schools (Every Child a Star!) second grader at Driver Elementary. The offense: pointing his Ticonderoga #2 and saying “pew, pew, pew!” quotes a district flack, speaking for Superintendent Dr. Deran Whitney, who tried to justify the tike’s 2-day suspension by pointing out that “a pencil is considered a weapon when it’s pointed at someone in a threatening way and gunlike noises are made. (Bethanne) Bradshaw says some children would consider the incident threatening.” Yes, and some children no doubt would consider a pop spelling quiz threatening, too. How long before we see those on the verboten list?


  1. avatar JTPhilly says:

    Soon, we may not have the country we want, but we will have the country we deserve.

    1. avatar Rambeast says:

      “We” deserve better. “We” didn’t vote in these wannabe dictators. So please, refrain from lumping us in with those statist martians.

  2. avatar Mark N. says:

    Just what we need in America–schools banning pencils because they are “weapons.” Kids will just have to learn by rote repetition and memorization. They don’t need to know how to rite anyways–thas wha phones is for.

    1. avatar Peter says:

      They already “learn” by regurgitating and parroting the teachers rather than thinking for themselves, right? Who needs to learn how to think?

  3. avatar Peter says:

    “[District policy] bans drawing a picture of a gun” If I were in that class I would organize a draw in and draw the oldest, most antiquated musket I could envision.

    1. avatar Gene says:

      It’d be interesting to know what specific policies were violated. A pencil and saying “pew, pew, pew” does not meet their (and Virginia’s) definition of a firearm.

  4. avatar William Burke says:

    Zero Tolerators LOVE zero tolerance, because it keeps them permanently off the hook for automaton-style behavior. Behaving like Humongous Hall Monitors from Hell is their perfect comfort zone.

    And that guy looks as if he had just burst outta some poor starsailor’s abdomen. OW!!

    1. avatar Roscoe says:

      Whitney’s $h1t eating grin makes it look like he’s proud and celebrating having scored another point for the gun grabbing crowd.

      The grabbers whole anti Second Amendment anti gun exercise in persecution has become “1984” “Animal Farm” and “Lord of the Flies” all rolled into one ongoing crusade.

      1. avatar gregolas says:

        Mr. Burke.

        1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

          Private skool, bitchez.

  5. avatar Totenglocke says:

    What else do you expect when the majority of teachers graduated from college in the bottom 1/3 of their class?

  6. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    OMG OMG OMG it was a #2!!! That is an assault pencil right there!!!

    1. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

      Thank God it wasn’t a mechanical pencil. They have re-loadable high capacity magazines.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Wonder if the diameter of the projectile of that assualt mechanical pencil is the dreaded .9mm? Save the children!

        1. avatar Nigil says:

          I use this high-cap .9mm Assault Pencil, complete with fast-reloading semi-auto clicker, removable support clip, and hidden eraser, to throw large amounts of lead at innocent papers and 2×4’s all the time.
          The Pentel P209 does almost sound like a gun…it’s amazing I’m allowing to carry this thing concealed.

        2. avatar scottlac says:

          Can you believe these Assault Pencils are available to the general public? And sold on the internet? Without a background check?!?

          This evil black pencil could terrorize schools, workplaces, and homes everywhere. Some of the features from their very own website:
          -Convenient side button propels lead for continuous writing without changing hand position.
          -Brass clutch guarantees consistent lead advance every time
          -Transparent barrel allows user to monitor lead supply
          -Available lead sizes: 0.5mm, 0.7mm, and 0.9mm

          Available in the following barrel colors:
          0.5mm: Black, Transparent Black, Transparent Blue, Transparent Green and Transparent Red
          0.7mm: Transparent Black, Transparent Blue and Transparent Violet
          0.9mm: Transparent Black, Red
          -Refillable with Pentel Super Hi-Polymer® Lead and PDE-1 large refill eraser

          This menace must be stopped!

    2. avatar Sammy says:

      Yea, but the kids stick the thing that flips up, up their noses.

  7. avatar Sammy says:

    How soon before writing “Gun” is a 3 day vacation? I believe drawn pictures of G**s and horizontal letter “L”s are already misdemeanors.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      Horizontal L… Lady Liberty toes-up.

  8. avatar Syntax says:

    Time to start homeschooling your kids there. I have already put the school board on notice that if anything close to this happens to my kid they can expect a lawsuit and to have less students in class the next day as ALL of my kids will be home schooled from then on. Hit them where it hurts – their funding, less kids = less funding. The internet has made it more than possible to give your child a better education at home than they would receive at a public SKOOL.

    1. avatar Old Ben turning in grave says:

      Check the rules in your state. Many make it very, very difficult to home school. Regardless, tech has basically made schools obsolete already. I view the traditional school system as Wile E. Coyote. They’ve already run off the cliff, they just haven’t looked down yet.

      1. avatar Roscoe says:

        Ha Ha HA…

        Good one!


      2. avatar Syntax says:

        Yes I live in PA and they make it hard – but I would definitely do it. And if I had to I would appeal to every organization I could to help me relocate if I couldn’t home school them here. I am already seriously considering moving to Montana but I feel right now I can do more in PA by standing and fighting for my gun rights here. We are still a very strong 2nd amendment state and we need all the pro-gun people we can get here to hold of the jackals from Philly and DC.

  9. avatar chuck says:

    This might be good if you’re interested in world domination. Just imagine running into the middle of a city pointing your finger saying pew pew pew then yell I’m in charge now when everyone hits the deck in fear of your full auto assault finger with high capacity palms.

  10. avatar In Memphis says:

    Maybe if he was making a stabbing motion..? I know I have treated a classmate after being stabbed with a pencil. But, “pew pew pew?”

    1. avatar Old Ben turning in grave says:

      I was stabbed in the leg with a mechanical pencil. Took years for the piece of graphite to work it’s way out of my leg. Near as I recall, the teacher just told us to knock it off. Different times.

  11. avatar Ralph says:

    For the last couple of decades, believed that kids were getting dumber and dumber, as if the genes were getting fragile or something. Now I believe, as Gershwin wrote, that it ain’t necessarily so. IMO, idiot teachers and idiot administrators produce idiot students by the trainload.

    I blame the parents for suffering such fools. The parents have the hammer. They could run these [email protected] out of town on a rail if they got together and used their muscle. The fact that they don’t makes the parents the biggest idiots of all.

    1. avatar Peter says:

      Parents more and more cede responsibility for child rearing to the school, and thereby the state. No wonder the state sees itself as responsible for raising a child — parents are facilitating it!

      The same is true for food & health care & living quarters (food stamps, medicaid, subsidized housing). We see an intrusive government trying to dictate how to live — well when a person partakes of the welfare system that’s what you get! “My house, my rules”, says the State.

      Then the state State overreaches and tries to run the lives of independent citizens.

    2. avatar Old Ben turning in grave says:

      The majority of voters decided that Obama deserved a second term. Common sense is in short supply among adults.

      1. avatar Rambeast says:

        Common sense 50 years ago is rocket science today.

        1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

          As an actual rocket scientist, I take exception to your wording.

          However, I also take your meaning. 😉

  12. avatar Bob2 says:

    Suspending a second grader for playing. What is this, North Korea? I dream of a day when people like Mr. Whitney face jail time for their actions, and I have a dream of a day when kids can be kids again.

  13. avatar GMgunsmith says:

    My first question to this idiot is how much Zero Tolerance training did they give the children. Were the children explained the rules before class started. If the answer is “none”, which I expect it is, I would then file a lawsuit against the school and the principle for failure to provide the proper instruction in the bull-shit they are spewing. How can a child of that age expect to know and retain zero tolerance rules. They are children and children play in their own world until they get old enough to understand.

  14. avatar j roberts says:

    Do you really need any more reasons to get your kids out of the public schools ? When this kind of thing hits the news it’s one out of a hundred incidents just like it or worse, which don’t get reported.

    If you want to be certain that all of the values you’ve tried to instill in your child are diminished, ridiculed, and spit upon then by all means, keep your kids in the public schools. Make no mistake, public schools today believe that their job is not to teach the kids the old fashioned “reading, writing, and arithmetic.” They see their job as flushing everything of value that you’ve worked to build with your child and to substitute modern PC “social justice” nonsense in place of history; to teach your kids to “feel” rather than think; and by all means, to teach them that Guns Are Bad. This is not random. It is systematic.

    If you think you can’t afford to home school your kids, get them in a home school co-op, get them in a Catholic school … anything … but get them the heck out of the public schools if you value your kids at all.

    1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

      My kids never have and never will see the inside of a public skrool.

  15. avatar DaveL says:

    a pencil is considered a weapon when it’s pointed at someone in a threatening way and gunlike noises are made.

    Boy, we are gonna save a ton equipping the police and military!

    (Bethanne) Bradshaw says some children would consider the incident threatening.

    Some children would consider paste to be a tasty and nutritious snack. That’s why we have adults around to exercise their better judgement.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      And that right there is the Holy Grail of progressivism — when any given person’s emotion of the moment is the legal arbiter of your behavior.

      It’s anarchy and tyranny all rolled into one.

  16. avatar M J J says:




    Lord, what fools these mortals be.

  17. avatar Don says:

    Why are people so afraid of using their judgement and then standing by the outcome? Zero tolerance is a CYA responsibility-shirking crutch for cowards and idiots.

    Zero tolerance policies are like Hammurabi era punishments. You steal like Bernie Madoff they cut off your hand. You steal candy bar, they cut off your hand.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      No, not really. Well, the era, but not the code.

      He introduced an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth – in a time when you could be hanged for stealing a loaf of bread, his code was a hedge against barbarism. He instituted the notion of “Let the penalty fit the crime.”

      You want bad, look at early medieval Europe or England…

      1. avatar Don says:

        Going to have to disagree with you there. The Hammurabi code included many of the barbaric punishments of the era including cutting off body parts and putting people to death outside of the parity of “eye for an eye”. Here are just a small sampling:

        2. If any one bring an accusation against a man, and
        the accused go to the river and leap into the river,
        if he sink in the river his accuser shall take
        possession of his house. But if the river prove that
        the accused is not guilty, and he escape unhurt,
        then he who had brought the accusation shall be
        put to death, while he who leaped into the river
        shall take possession of the house that had
        belonged to his accuser.

        6. If any one steal the property of a temple or of the
        court, he shall be put to death, and also the one
        who receives the stolen thing from him shall be
        put to death.

        7. If any one buy from the son or the slave of another
        man, without witnesses or a contract, silver or
        gold, a male or female slave, an ox or a sheep, an
        ass or anything, or if he take it in charge, he is
        considered a thief and shall be put to death.

        21.If any one break a hole into a house (break in to
        steal), he shall be put to death before that hole and
        be buried.

        22.If any one is committing a robbery and is caught,
        then he shall be put to death.

        109. If conspirators meet in the house of a tavernkeeper, and these conspirators are not captured
        and delivered to the court, the tavern-keeper
        shall be put to death.

        110. If a “sister of a god” open a tavern, or enter a
        tavern to drink, then shall this woman be burned
        to death.

        194. If a man give his child to a nurse and the child
        die in her hands, but the nurse unbeknown to the
        father and mother nurse another child, then they
        shall convict her of having nursed another child
        without the knowledge of the father and mother
        and her breasts shall be cut off.

        195. If a son strike his father, his hands shall be hewn

        205. If the slave of a freed man strike the body of a
        freed man, his ear shall be cut off.

        218. If a physician make a large incision with the
        operating knife, and kill him, or open a tumor
        with the operating knife, and cut out the eye, his
        hands shall be cut off.

        226. If a barber, without the knowledge of his master,
        cut the sign of a slave on a slave not to be sold,
        the hands of this barber shall be cut off.

        1. avatar Don says:

          253. If any one agree with another to tend his field,
          give him seed, entrust a yoke of oxen to him, and
          bind him to cultivate the field, if he steal the
          corn or plants, and take them for himself, his
          hands shall be hewn off.

          192. If a son of a paramour or a prostitute say to his
          adoptive father or mother: “You are not my
          father, or my mother,” his tongue shall be cut

          193. If the son of a paramour or a prostitute desire his
          father’s house, and desert his adoptive father and
          adoptive mother, and goes to his father’s house,
          then shall his eye be put out.

  18. avatar Silver says:

    All part of the governmental plan to indoctrinate the next generation into subservient tax cattle. The children today will undoubtedly grow up to be the most mentally-damaged, slave-like, unrepentantly leftist in American history. The fact that parents allow this rather than tar and feathering any automaton that perpetuates it means the last generation got it pretty good in the head too.

    Sending your child to public school is child abuse.

  19. avatar Ross says:

    The US is not going to make it I’m afraid.

  20. avatar Joseph B Campbell says:

    Oh, the depravity of it all.

  21. avatar Ensitue says:


  22. avatar Jacob says:

    You joke about banning pop spelling tests because kids are threatened by them. It is worse than that: I taught at a supposedly “elite” “progressive” high school and we weren’t allowed to give pop quizzes because they fostered an “adversarial environment” between students and teachers. I don’t work there any more because I made the kids do homework and take tests and that wasn’t sufficently “progressive”.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      I wish you were kidding, but as one who’s taught in Калифорния I know that you are in dead earnest.

      My sympathies, sir; it takes a long time for the lousy aftertaste to fade.

      1. avatar Jacob says:

        I teach college (chemistry and physics) now, and have been a teacher for 15 years at this point, and I see all too painfully the results of all this crap. I get pre-meds who cannot do basic mathematics, even with a calculator.
        All that “Zero tolerance” and “progressive” educational “theory” has accomplished is to create a vast herd of people who can’t count past ten without pulling their socks off, and who are incapable of functioning outside the proscribed boundaries that their programming has set for them.
        At the high school, I had some student turn in a paper that was just abysmal, poorly edited, poorly researched, and lacking in any hint of intelligence. I gave it the grade it deserved. The student complained to me that she worked for many hours on it, didn’t she deserve credit for all that effort.
        I told her that effort was commendable, but wasted effort was just a waste.
        I wasn’t popular with the administration, no sir.

  23. avatar Eric says:

    Every day I lose more and more faith in humanity. Pretty soon, jellyfish will have more brains and a stronger backbone

  24. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    What really is serious is when a kid starts biting in class 3 features into his pop tart, like a silencer. Call out the goons grabbers, you look more foolish every day, Randy

  25. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    I read the story.
    My comment:
    You have GOT TO BE Fu<king kidding me.

    guess not.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      I see my spelling of fu<king is catching on. Sh¡t is easily spelled as well…

  26. avatar Hinshelworld says:

    And I’m about to move to suffolk… nice.

  27. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    This goes against child brain development. The human brain is not fully developed until the late 20s. Due to this fact children win make rash decisions and act on impulses. They may not even understand what they are doing is considered “wrong”. Fast forward a few years in states like MA where 12 year old kids get charged with felonies for having a rock fight in the neighborhood. One kid ducked and the rock went through the front window of the neighbor. Instead of working out how the kid will pay for it, the moonbat called the cops. They charged him with a felony and assault with a dangerous weapon. Of course they plead to a lesser charger but it still pops up as a felony charge on background checks. Zero tolerance laws are hot garbage and remove the decision making and common sense (TM) to solving problems.

    1. avatar Don says:

      Some human’s brains never develop, even after 20. They become school administrators and enact zero tolerance policies.

      1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

        Those who can, do.
        Those who cannot, teach.
        Those who cannot teach, administer.
        Those who cannot administer, vote in Chicago.
        Those too dim for any of the above, write for the History Channel.

  28. avatar mediocrates says:

    Those communities are getting exactly what they deserve. They made their bed. Let them lay in it.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:


  29. avatar Pat says:

    Stinking evil libtards.

  30. avatar My Name Is Bob says:

    What if the kid was just insinuating that the other kid smelled bad by pointing and and saying, “pew, pew, … You stink.” Lol

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