Who’d criticize a mother who only wants the best for her son? The Santa Fe, Texas po-po, that’s who. “A Southeast Texas woman is facing a felony charge for allegedly delaying hospital treatment of her teenage son’s gunshot wound until she researched treatment options online.” But wait! Why, you ask, wouldn’t she just take the lad to the nearest ER? Because this was no ordinary gunshot wound. According to the AP (via Fox News) , it was inflicted by a magic gun. And treatment options for a magic bullet wound are apparently hard to find. “Police say a friend of the 14-year-old son was playing with a handgun and pointed it at him when it went off, wounding the boy in the thigh.” Mom’s now been charged with injury to a child. It seems more like neglect to us, but what do we know? There’s no word on the fate of the “friend” who was holding the gun when it miraculously fired itself. And now you know why so many low information voters think guns are, per se, dangerous.   [h/t Scott]

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42 Responses to First Aid Tip: Even Magic Bullet Wounds Need Prompt Medical Attention

    • I don’t think she actually had human ancestors. She looks like the first of her family to descend from the trees.

  1. Completely off topic here. But that woman looks like 40 miles of bad road. I ain’t talking about mug shot ugly here. I’m talking about if she was to stand on the railroad tracks the freight train would jump the tracks and take a dirt road ugly. Got a real trailer park look to her.

  2. Women shouldn’t look like Thomas Mitchel.

    What made this a “magic” gun? That it just went off?

    Well, if “Christian Scientists” can refuse treatment on religious grounds…

    • I tapped one white, one red and one green mana and activated my Circle of Protection Gunfire. (Magic: The Gathering joke)

  3. Like the Barney Fife award winning cop who put a round through the TSA break room at the Philly airport trying to unload a double-action only revolver.

    Still remember the MSNBC line, “A flight attendant tries to board an airplane with a gun. Then, to make matters worse, the gun goes off in the terminal.”

    Yep, then the gun giggled maniacally and scurried off to hide under a chair.

    • My revolvers all refuse to fire if I don’t have my finger on the trigger & pull.
      Guess they not magic weapons or could it be they are not loaded with magic bullets?

  4. If only the children had been taught proper gun safety… “If it could only save the life of one child”. Instead of being good teachers we as a society stick our head in the sand. I say not my child because she has been taught properly but I know her friends from school have not.

  5. Well, I’ve lived in Houston – an hour’s drive and a million years in evolutionary terms from Santa Fe – for 27 years, and I’m here to tell you: there are “only in Texas” stories and there are “only in Santa Fe” stories. (Then there are “only in East Texas” and “only in Lufkin” stories, but you have to go to the “The Truth About Drunk Rednecks On Meth” web site to read those.) But yeah, a Santa Fe dateline always gets me to giggling even before I start reading.

    • Hey now, I have some very good friends that live in Santa Fe people I consider family. My wife was born in Texas city, my kids all born in Houston AND I live in East Texas Athens but I have to agree with everything you said!! As soon as I saw Santa Fe I had to read the story thankfully I have no association with this idiot. Get your kid to the ER asap if his femoral vessels were hit he could have bled out while she was screwing around on web MD- well that might be giving her too much credit- wikipedia.

      • So, Little Johnny is in Sunday School and the teacher asks him “Where was Jesus born?” LJ sez “Athens?” and the teach says “No, try again.” Johnny says “Carthage?” and the teacher says ‘No, it was Palestine.” Little Johnny says “Well hell, I knew it was somewhere in East Texas.”

  6. There will always be stupid decisions by parents. The trouble is that inviting prosecution for one stupid parental decision invites prosecution for many other parental decisions based only on the prosecutor’s idea of what is good and bad.

    • That’s the first one that came to mind for me, too.
      That kid was just lucky it didn’t blow out his head backwards-like and/or hit the Governor!

  7. delaying hospital treatment of her teenage son’s gunshot wound until she researched treatment options online.

    What kind of treatment options was she expecting to find for a gunshot wound? Cepacol and foot powder?

  8. Not that I would ever encourage someone not to seek medical attention following acute lead toxicity, but…

    the reality of extremity injuries is that if there are no structural injuries, i.e., a named vessel or bone, then you’re pretty much going to get your wound washed out and sent home. Sometimes a vascular injury is obvious, i.e., you’re trying to exanguinate or your foot has turned blue, sometimes not so much. The safest thing to do is to get a CT arteriogram scan with run off (follow the contrast as it goes down from pelvis into legs), but in practice, if there’s nothing obvious and the blood pressure at each ankle is the same, then people get a ‘life saving’ tetanus shot and sent home after a short period of observation.

  9. My two favorites – original to me, I believe:

    stupid as playing Russian roulette with an automatic;
    stupid as lighting farts in a grain elevator.

    This – person? – is that useless.

  10. “Police say a friend of the 14-year-old son was playing with a handgun and pointed it at him when it went off, wounding the boy in the thigh.”

    Sure… just went off. All by itself. Nothing to do with the trigger right? Lets be honest. He didn’t know how it worked, was recklessly pointing it at his friend, and squeezed off a round.

    Typical “mainstream” media.

    • Maybe he’d pulled the trigger, nothing happened and then twenty seconds later – BOOM.

      It’s not common, but neither is it unknown.

      Four rules an’ all.

  11. Hopefully the kid will get a magic mother, one that will dissapear. The bradys are probably saying already, “see its one of those dern printed guns”, oh well, its not like I actually give a sh.t, Randy

  12. It’s like Dungeons and Dragons! He had a +3 Pistol of the Magic Rainbow gun with unicorn bullets!!! Great against orgres and goblins, but they do go off on thier own sometimes…

  13. too much unknown here.

    If bleeding is controlled, basic cleaning done, wound dressed and bandaged.
    If there was an extended transport time, a quick research might be appropriate.

    Unlike the usual street drama of people calling 911 and then running around screaming watching the poor guy bleed out.

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