It Should Have Been a DGU: Operation Dumbo Drop Edition

You’d think that Tupelo, Mississippi, birthplace of The King, would be more accepting of heavy, slow-moving entertainment anachronisms. But you’d be wrong. As reports, one of their precious pachyderms was the victim of a drive-by last week. There’s no word as to whether or not the beast was leading a particularly risky lifestyle that made her a likely target, though. “Dr. Dennis Schmitt, a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus veterinarian, says the 39-year-old Asian elephant named Carol will be taken home to Springfield, Mo., to recuperate.” . . .

Thankfully, the ungulate is expected to make a full recovery.

“Police Chief Tony Carleton says a vehicle drove past Tupelo BancorpSouth Arena about 2 a.m. and fired into the area. Police are investigating.”

That’s some serious penetration. Since concealed carry is (still) legal in both Missouri and Mississippi, we’re hoping Carol’s wrangler can get her enrolled in a qualified CCW class as soon as she’s feeling up to it.


  1. avatar William Burke says:

    I’m SO happy the ele will recover. Captive eles are put in such unhappy life situations, with no chance of upgrade.

    THIS one seems to be enjoying the forced-play activity with the woman. I’ve seen them look so utterly miserable.

    Just like YOU would be, as a slave, more or less.

    1. avatar Human Being says:

      Naturally. Have you seen a lot of happy New Yorkers?

      1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

        There are no happy New Yorkers, as the “light at the end of the tunnel” is… New Jersey.

        1. avatar My Name Is Bob says:

          ZING!!!! 🙂

  2. avatar Scholarcat says:

    “…we’re hoping Carol’s wrangler can get her enrolled in a qualified CCW class as soon as she’s feeling up to it.”

    That gives a whole new meaning to the term elephant gun.

    1. avatar Bob says:

      Too bad it’s afraid of mouse guns!


  3. avatar mountocean says:

    Carol shouldn’t need a CCW if she keeps the gun in her trunk.

    1. avatar APBTFan says:

      Bah dum tishhh!

  4. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    There’s the elephant for o the magnificent’s circus… ladies & gentlemen I have this here elephant & this here AR watch me as I shoot a peanut off feinswine’s nose(I can do it you saw me in the huntin vid), oh well, Randy

  5. avatar Rokurota says:

    Elephants were removed from the ungulate classification in the mid-20th century. Hippos and rhinos are ungulates, but elephants are not.

    There. Said it. And .45s suck, too.

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