It’s hard to know for sure, but it looks to us like Andrew Despres might be a Rambo wanna-be. Not that that’s illegal. Yet. Unfortunately, when the Fitchburg State University (Massachusetts) student posted the above photo of himself holding what looks like a ninth grade woodshop class replica rifle slung around his neck along with two airsoft guns and a bandolier of plastic ammo (not to mention the impressive drawn-on six pack), it caught the attention of FSU’s deputy dawgs. And now the former Eagle scout’s wearing an orange jumpsuit waiting for his family to raise bail money . . .

When campus security came a-knockin’, they found some contraband. From telegram.com:

The FSU sophomore was expelled Dec. 17 under the school’s zero-tolerance policy for allegedly possessing marijuana, knives and firecrackers on school grounds. He also was suspected of defacing property in a dorm bathroom. He was told he needed to notify campus police if he intended to return to campus.

(Assistant District Attorney Joseph A.) Simmons said a fake gun, a box cutter and other items found in Mr. Despres’ dorm room were props for films he had created at Fitchburg State.

Mr. Despres returned to school the day Dec. 18 to retrieve some belongings and was arrested on charges of trespassing and possession of ammunition.

Despres has been charged with “possessing a military ammunition belt.” Just one problem: mom says the ammo is fake.

. . . Simmons said test results on the (ammo) belt have not been returned . . . Mr. Simmons argued for the $50,000 bail to remain in place . . . Prosecutors portrayed Mr. Despres as the next murderous student prepared to go on a rampage.

Judge Richard Tucker, however, recognized the whole megillah  for the post-Newton overreaction it is and reduced Despres’s bail to $500.

“He’s such a good kid. He wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Barbara Despres said. “I think it was just a little too much. The belt was fake.”

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44 Responses to OMG! It’s A College Student! With Fake Bullets! OMG!

  1. He may be a dumbass (or not, I don’t know the kid) but that doesn’t exactly have any bearing on how badly the school overreacted.

    • Somehow I doubt they cared very much about the weed. They made up their minds that he was leaving the moment they saw the pic. They probably would’ve just expelled him over any number of other things if they hadn’t found the weed.

  2. Just sue the school for the expulsion and prove how stupid they are. The kid is obviously foolish but he’s a kid and obviously has fake guns.

  3. OMG! Pot on a college campus!

    Guess what. It’s not a college campus without pot on it. Okay, it is if we’re talking about Brigham Young University, but otherwise, pot and college go together like sex and rock and roll.

    What really makes me chuckle is that the same horses @sses who smoked up the halls of academe when they were undergrads thirty years ago are now recoiling in horror at the thought of pot on their campus. Too effing funny!

  4. I can understand expelling him. I don’t agree with it but I wouldn’t care much if that’s where they stopped. It’s a private institution, he signed a code of conduct contract. They’re trying to maintain a certain image (not that they actually are but that could be a reasonable excuse)

    But arresting him and charging him for “possession of ammo”? $50,000 bail? WTF? Also, wtf kind of “test” do you have to do to a belt of ammo to determine whether or not it’s real? Is it plastic? Then it’s probably fake. Try firing some of it geniuses.

  5. The stuff was props for a film he’d already made. He was screwing around with toys. Prosecutor tried to have bail set at 50k ? Easy enough to spot the real threat to society here.

  6. This is ridiculous, from many standpoints.

    So from a 4th Amendment standpoint, I find it ridiculous that the landlord of a leased property can allow the police onto the property. Think of how many people you know who rent apartments. Do they essentially have no 4th amendment rights simply because they do not own the property on which they live?

    Second, that bail is simply atrocious. Why could the police not just break one of the “cartridges” open and see of the ammunition was real?

    This is just a prime example of why authorities should not be given certain powers but be expected not to use them in “typical” circumstances. This kid was doing nothing wrong, and I’m sure the cops knew that, but they decided to charge him fully anyway. I bet it came down to the officers perceiving this kid as an asshole and trying to teach him a lesson by throwing the books at him

      • Up here in MA, we used to say “it’s just Manny being Manny” whenever Ramirez did something that was f^cked up. So this is just cops being cops.

    • On many college dormitory forms,there’s a clause which states the student waives their right to refuse consent to search.College dormitory residents don’t have 4th Amendment rights ,so campus police can just stop by the dorm RA’s desk and demand entry into any room they see fit. It sucks,but a modern university’s first lesson in adult life starts with making their students surrender their Constitutional rights.

  7. I attended an institute of higher learning in the commonwealth of Massachusetts. On your first day on campus they issued you a pocket knife. A knife! OMG! To everyone! OMG! And heaven forbid if one of the upperclassmen caught you WITHOUT said knife. Granted, it was a para-military academy. However, it is still a state funded school. Amazingly, we all managed to survive without killing each other. Who would have thought?

  8. Suspecting of defacing a dorm bathroom? Or suspected of deFECATION of a dorm bathroom?

    Living in a dorm my first year of college exposed me to the horror of sharing a bathroom with other young men who spent of their time stuffing themselves with old pizza / ramen / booze and the occasional sticky-icky green high. The results were not pretty and convinced me that I had better get my arse an apartment ASAP.

  9. Some brains die a natural death, some brains are stupided to death. What we have here is mass brainicide by those in charge. Whatever they smoking, I don’t want.

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