Obscure Object of Desire: Parakini

Think about it. If you’re really going to be prepared, that means being ready for the S to HTF even on your day off, while you’re lounging by the pool or digging your toes into the sand at the beach. And a paracord bikini’s a much better way to achieve a state of ultimate readitude. A boringly conventional paracord bracelet will only give you about eight or ten feet of line. But if you cover what your momma gave you with a Paraphernalia Gear Parakini, you’ll be set for anything with about 60 feet of 550 fun. That’ll make a lot of rifle slings. Please remember, though, that unlike your heater, wearing a bikini is a privilege, not a right. [h/t everydaynodaysoff.com]


  1. avatar Will says:

    I’ll pass. A guy wearing a Bikini Top just seems wrong anyway.

  2. avatar jwm says:

    for my wife i’d need about 180 feet of para cord. i wonder how tough it would be to make a 550 speedo. nothing quite like a ofwg in a speedo.

  3. avatar Aharon says:

    Dan, you’ve got too much time on your hands.

    Hemingway and Bradbury have written great books that you could be reading, it’s summer so perhaps a nice long bike ride would be refreshing, and surely you’ve dreamed of being able to cook like a five-star chef and you can if you take a cooking class…just some ideas 🙂

  4. avatar Don says:

    I’m disappointed Dan, after seeing your booth babe photography prowess at SHOT, I expected you to get a photo with it in Use.

    1. Maybe we can procure one, take it with us to SHOT in January and see if we can persuade any booth babes to model one for us.

  5. avatar Scott says:

    This is just a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

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