Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day: Unidentified Decatur Man

As anyone who’s experienced one will tell you (and tell you and tell you) a toothache can be downright maddening. If it’s bad enough, you have little patience for waiting until a dentist can fit you in. All you want is for the pain to stop. And it doesn’t make you an anti-dentite if you decide to take care of things yourself. Lots of people use the traditional doorknob approach. Others make do with the tools they have at hand. That seemed to be what a Decatur, Alabama man was thinking Monday when he’d had enough of his irritating incisor. Just one problem – the only tool he had available was a gun . . .

Well, that was the only one he could think of, anyway. reports that cops responding to a call found him with his mouth bleeding profusely and his brother trying to stop the flow.

“The man was conscious and alert when officers arrived,” Crouch said. “He told them that he was tired of his tooth hurting and attempted to shoot it out.”

Here’s the real shocker:

The victim’s brother told officers that the 61-year-old had been drinking beer and complaining of the toothache before going into his bedroom and closing the door.

Fotunately, the pain from his newly broken jaw took his mind off of his aching tooth so on the whole, the procedure was successful. The vicodin they gave him in the E.R. probably helped some, too. And since he probably lost all of his firearms, we’ll kick in a shiny piece of IGOTD hardware just in case he has another owie down the road and wants to give the Castaway method a try.


  1. avatar John says:

    I read this in the Decatur Daily.

    What an idiot!

  2. avatar brigo50 says:

    Darwin was right!

  3. avatar Greg says:

    The decline of the West continues.

  4. avatar cmd says:

    How did he live to be 61?

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      I was wondering the very same thing! This can’t be his first trip to stupidland.

  5. avatar GS650G says:

    If he used a .9mm gun he might have had more luck with removing it.

  6. avatar Air Force TSgt says:

    Should have used a Glock, nothing more reliably removes teeth and drives framing nails like a Glock.

  7. avatar Thomas Paine says:

    well, at least he wasn’t having testicular pain.

      1. avatar Curtis says:


  8. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    the three stooges were smarter than that bone head……….LOL

  9. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    whats the ole’ saying “he’s got a hole in his head”…….lol

  10. avatar Aharon says:

    Where do you guys find these pics that are often a really good fit for the post?

  11. avatar LT says:

    Had to look up that Cast Away reference… yikes. Anybody who’s had an abscessed molar can tell you they’d do just about anything to stop that pain – not fun.

    I feel bad for this guy; hope he recovers and wises up a bit in the future.

  12. avatar racer88 says:

    Genius! I’m going to start an “Irresponsible Tooth Owner of the Day” series on my dental blog! 😉

    Dumbass… doesn’t he know the proper tool for the job is an old ice skate???

    Being from Alabama… it was probably his last tooth.

    1. I guess that, given the climate in ‘Bama, there aren’t a lot of old ice skates lying around.

      1. avatar racer88 says:

        Haha…. true. Good thing there aren’t many teeth, either! 😉

  13. avatar miforest says:

    Ive had a broken arm, knee surgery, and 2nd degree burns to 15% of my body, none of them hurt as bad as a real bad tooth ache.

  14. avatar Sam Wright says:

    When your only tool is a gun, every problem looks like a zombie.

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