When you think of paintball guns (or markers, as they’re so daintily referred to by the cognescenti), they’re not the first things you’d want to grab if you have to defend your home and hearth against insensate evil. Hell, even Ralphie’s Red Ryder was a better choice. Then again, he didn’t live in New Jersey. No, paintball guns are only a notch or two above running with scissors on the danger scale. But don’t tell that to Elvis Alexander, whose blooming welts are a living testament to the power of those speedy little spheres . . .
Alexander wasn’t exactly aiming high when he broke into a home in his own Galveston neighborhood Friday morning, no doubt expecting it to be empty. All he managed to grab were a few coins and some ramen noodles before the owner mounted a fierce counter-attack.
Carrie King, 34, called police about 10:30 a.m., saying she was hiding from an intruder inside her home in the 1100 block of 36th Street, (Lt. Michael) Gray said. An officer arrived, heard yelling and went inside.
“He heard her firing the paintball gun and the sound of the impacts of the paint balls,” Gray said.
The responding officer found Alexander inside King’s home covered in yellow paint, pretty much
red yellow handed. Elvis left the building under police escort and is now facing a charge of burglary of a habitation with intent to commit theft. We’d suggest a home defense weapon with a little more oomph, but we’re glad Carrie successfully repelled the intruder and came through this one unharmed. Color us impressed.