Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day: Theodore Van Beveren

You know the neighbor everyone was scared of when you played baseball or street hockey? The guy who, when a ball strayed into his yard, would scream at you if you tried to get it back? Yeah that guy. He was a cranky SOB who reminded you of the old man they always unmasked at the end of every Scooby Doo episode – the one who blamed the failure of his plot on those meddling kids. Theodore Van Beveren’s the same kinda guy with two differences – he has guns and he likes to drink . . .

A neighbor kid was shooting hoops last night near his home in Palm Coast, Florida when the ball got away and rolled into Beveren’s yard. As you’d expect, the yoot went to get it back. Here’s’s description of what happened.

Van Beveren was in his garage when the ball rolled into his yard, (Flagler County Sheriff’s Office Public Information Officer Debra) Johnson said. As the teen walked over to retrieve the ball, Ven Beveren walked out of his garage and down the driveway, carrying a firearm.

Van Beveren then fired the firearm one time into the ground, Johnson said. The teen told police he was not injured and ran away after Van Beveren fired the gun.

When he arrived, the local sheriff found a couple of shootin’ irons and a half-empty bottle of vodka in the garage and Van Beveren, for some reason, declined a breathalyzer test. Now he’s charged with breach of the peace, culpable negligence and discharging a firearm while under the influence of alcohol. So we’ll raise a glass to him as our IGOTD though we’ll certainly understand if he fills his with Diet Coke.



  1. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    and while he sits in jail, his house will be egged sufficiently.

    1. avatar Blinky Pete says:

      I was just thinking the same thing.

  2. avatar Nate says:

    Too bad there isnt a Douche Bag of the Day award as he deserves that one as well. Shooting at some kid for retrieving a ball (I know it was technically at the ground). This guy deserves every bad thing possible that could happen to him from this.

    1. avatar Hal says:

      Welcome to Prison… let’s all sing the suprise butt sex song…

  3. avatar GS650G says:

    The word “dick” will be drawn on his grass using Round-Up.

    1. avatar Pascal says:

      That deserves a Nelson from the Simpsons – Aahh-ha!

  4. avatar WildWest says:

    Important to note that the Florida Stand Your Ground Law does not protect this drunken moron from his idiocy. So, we should just make a point of that to those who would see the law overturned. SYG does not allow this man the freedom to go and shoot anyone for threatening footprints in his grass for retrieving a ball.

    1. avatar Shane from Kanuckistan says:

      I don’t think anyone is confusing this moron with a legitimate SYG instance.

      1. avatar CarlosT says:

        Oh, somebody out there will try to.

        1. avatar Shane from Kanuckistan says:

          WildWest already is

      2. avatar Dan says:

        The issue WildWest is alluding to is the media conflating SYG with people like this idiot, claiming that SYG protects road rage and such.

  5. avatar Mark says:

    I hate it when idiots behave like idiots.

  6. avatar Ralph says:

    Get off my lawn!

  7. avatar Sanchanim says:

    Wow what an idiot!!!

  8. avatar Steven says:

    From the story, I kind of get the idea of scooby and the gang playing basketball, and shaggy running after the ball and then some monster shoots some goo at the ground to scare him away. Scooby dooby do, where are you? We’ve got some work to do now!!!

  9. avatar 101abn says:

    I was about to step out the back door to the porch the other day, the door has one of those diamond shaped windows, I looked out before I opened the door. There was a woman in my backyard trying to walk down her dog, and get a leash on it, have no idea where they came from. I did not open the door, less distraction for her and the dog, the better. Guess I missed the opportunity to get off a few rounds.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email