Larry, Larry, Larry. Unfortunately, no one ever told Larry Briggs of Los Banos, California that when you shoot yourself in the leg, it’s pretty obvious. But like so many before him, he tried to blame the whole thing on mysterious pedestrian-shooting gang bangers when the cops arrived and asked him what happened. I guess when you blow a hole in your own leg while slapping your wife around, you don’t want anyone else to know about it . . .
We get the sordid details from mercedsunstar.com:
Briggs reportedly told police he was shot at by several gang members while walking near his home.
Officers and medical staff noticed the wounds appeared to be self-inflicted and weren’t consistent with Briggs’ statement. Once his story was questioned by officers, Briggs became uncooperative, police said.
Upon further investigation police concluded Briggs accidentally shot himself after allegedly threatening his wife with the firearm and slapping her face.
Larry’s probably figured out by now that when you’re beating your wife, it’s a good idea to keep your finger off the trigger if you’re also going to laser your own leg. Not that he’ll get to practice his four rules much since the police confiscated his three shootin’ irons and he’s not likely to get them back. Ever.
Tough guy Larry’s now limping around and facing charges of making criminal threats and inflicting injury on a spouse or cohabitant. He’s also trying to figure out which corner of his Merced County Jail cell will show off his IGOTD award best when it arrives. Don’t worry, Larry. We’ll send it to your wife so she can deliver it personally.